Charlie Brown and the AntiChrist (a christmas message)

Well… it’s that time of year, the time when Rudolph partners with Yukon Cornelius, Where Chris puts one foot in front of the other, and Charlie Brown makes poor tree decisions. I love the nostalgia of the TV Christmas Animated Classics. It rarely feels like Christmas unless I revisit those holiday cheer builders.

Today as a part of my Christmas holiday music mix, I have the Vince Gauraldi Charlie Brown special music to mix up the Bing and the other classics. When I hear that Linus and Lucy bass line on the piano, I just want to break out in a two dimensional dance. There is something to the Charlie Brown Special that touches something in me. I think, in its strange little way, it does a good job of commenting on how we can get lost in Christmas time. As a kid, even though I couldn’t understand the King James that Linus recites, I knew that when Linus ends with “and That’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown” … He was right. There was something catholic to it. Whether it was the fact that it was a ritual show that I visited every year, or there was something high and liturgical to Linus’s voice and the way he said “Lo”. Regardless, today I can’t read the Christmas Story in Luke without starting it with “Lights Please?”

Last year my taste of the CB special took a turn for the worse. I somehow had placed this tradition of Charlie Brown Christmas as a spiritual glazing, only to be awaken as I saw it for the first time anew. I was with others as it was going on, and I started realizing its lack of plot. I started realizing its depressing nature. I forgot about it until I caught the show last week. And this time I was awaken out of my catholic stupor. I got up from watching, feeling like I had just been slimed. I quickly did a scan of the show, and realized that except for the music and the scripture reading, it was a pretty awful show. I think the thing that struck me so hard about it was the fact that the Peanuts kids were so cruel. And how that was THE storyline! Four frame elements that barely go together with CRUEL CHILDREN… I love how it ends: We get done with Linus saying that Christmas is about Jesus. The peanut kids rip off snoopy’s Christmas Decorations to fix the tree that Charlie Brown “killed”; and then the last line we hear is “Charlie Brown is a Block Head, but at least he got a good tree.” THAT’S THE END!?! I find it interesting that cartoon children, music and a scripture can cause me to wrap up a show with hardly a plot and nasty children and have it be a palatable present I pump into my brain every year.

I guess reading a scripture nicely and saying ‘that’s what Christmas is all about’ was all I needed. I just needed that Christmas bow. It didn’t matter what was inside, as long as I had the floral wording and fond nostalgia… I could gloss over the unkindness of the Peanuts Children, and the nonsensical storyline. Apparently scripture has a way of letting me go to warm Christmas Land where bells ring angels get their wings and Bumbles Bounce.

I get why I go there. When the bible is read, we start hearing about people who “Walked with God” people who “God told to do this or that” Sometimes we even hear what God did, and what he said. And it’s very easy to relax your mind a bit and go… “That God. He knows what he’s doing” And pay no attention to the reality of WHAT’S going on. Because no one has seen God… All of us have had a story or experience or a notion that somehow points to the fact on why we read this stuff. But it’s easy to fall into the fantasy of it all. The fact that God is Perfect, Grace is perfect, love is perfect. And When we read that flowery language we can gloss over the blockhead in front of us, and simply sing Hark the Harold.

The bible may dawns its floral wording, but I think our Christmas Land cloud is just our G rating to a EVERY bible story’s sinister reality. The life that EVERYONE who walked with God was in the depressing and very cruel Peanuts world.

Last week, I was at my in laws house. It’s always filled with kids and cousins. And Sam my 7 year old Nephew casually picked up a book from the kids area and sat on someone’s lap to have them read to him. It was the story of Noah’s Ark. On the front, it had this cartoon of a man with a beard on a boat with giraffes and a brightly colored rainbow above. Matty (the one reading the story) opened it up and started reading: “Once upon a time God planned to get rid of all humanity”! HeyOOOO! What a way to start a story! But the fact is, despite our Christmas Land glasses… the depressing reality of death, destruction, and a cruel world IS the bible.
Abraham – Doesn’t have a son for 90 years, then … has a son and is told to sacrifice him.Joseph – gets sold into slavery by his brothers, then gets put in jail for not sleeping with a woman.Moses - Hebrews were in slavery, Moses’ mother floated her baby down the river to insure that he didn’t get killed by the government (She saved her baby by floating him down the river… Hello Child protective services), Moses murders someone because of an injustice, Frogs! (wha?).David – faces the largest opponent (because no one else will) as a kid, goes into hiding because the current king wants to kill him.Elijah - who is starving, hunted down, and has all of his friends killed.Job – who is stricken with a terrible diseaseAnd all the prophets - had to tell kings that their government was going to crumble, tell enemies that God loved them, and had to provide a vision of hope when everyone was depressed and a prisoner of War.
Do you see a trend here? Life isn’t all that much fun. And then if you are with God, well that doesn’t exempt you. ‘Yes Geoff, but they were in Old Testament times. Which is a lot like the Paleolithic Age… cause they didn’t have cars and heat...They almost didn’t have fire. What about New Testament times?’ Surely with the invention of Jesus life must have made the world a little more “Christmasee.” But as you look… even Jesus’ life had a lot of peanuts in it:Check it out… 18-19The birth of Jesus took place like this. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. Before they came to the marriage bed, Joseph discovered she was pregnant.(WHOOPS) (It was by the Holy Spirit, but he didn't know that.) Joseph, chagrined but noble, determined to take care of things quietly so Mary would not be disgraced. (Um we are 18 verses into the first book of the New Testament, and we have just stumbled on a potential divorce… OF JESUS’ PARENTS!!! FYI, there is a significant amount of pain and feelings of betrayal to come to a decision of divorce, and we have THAT in the bible.)

20-23While he was trying to figure a way out, he had a dream. God's angel spoke in the dream: "Joseph, son of David, don't hesitate to get married. Mary's pregnancy is Spirit-conceived. God's Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. She will bring a son to birth, and when she does, you, Joseph, will name him Jesus—'God saves'—because he will save his people from their sins." This would bring the prophet's embryonic sermon to full term: Watch for this—a virgin will get pregnant and bear a son; They will name him Immanuel (Hebrew for "God is with us").
24-25Then Joseph woke up. He did exactly what God's angel commanded in the dream: He married Mary. But he did not consummate the marriage until she had the baby. He named the baby Jesus.

Oh it doesn’t end there. Kings come … the Christ family (Jesus and his parents… what was their last name anyway?) has to move because the ruler of the time decided that Jesus was a threat, so all baby boys were to be put to death. Then when all is clear the Christ family moves back. Moving isn’t fun, but I’d have to say: escaping because soldiers are going to kill your baby ranks up there on stress level. Bible characters didn’t really live in Christmas Land at all.
After skipping a bit you can read about an awful ending to a very godly man on the Cross.Even after the resurrection we see disciples die terrible deaths.

What am I saying here? I guess by these stories I wonder why we don’t expect more stuff to come our way. Why aren’t we more resilient? It’s pretty apparent in ALL of these stories that God saved these guys… But they didn’t live comfortable, easy lives. They weren’t on a cloud in Christmas Land, and even when they were in the zone, doing what God wanted them to do, doing the right thing, they could have easily asked “GOD WHAT AM I DOING HERE.”
Here the Christ family is at the dawn of Christianity, with Mary Pregnant. And about to be divorced. (Shh) “quietly” God HAS to intervene to say it’s His kid… There are two very strange things going on here. 1. God is involved, God is doing something. 2. A relationship is screwed up. God is on Maury saying that I’m the baby’s daddy. And the family that he “Blesses” with this is now having pre-marriage jitters. God is involved, conflict occurs. Does this seem strange?
This is not the scene on my aunt’s lawn. Where there is quiet pristine, mowed grass, a silent night. This is a very real birth with relationships, and hormones, and screaming and water breaking, and umbilical chords. A real live birth…. A baby boy… Jesus (not even their name)… And he probably did cry at the cattle lowing.

Two very real concepts at work here. God intimately involved. And Humanity Intimately involved. Stepping on each other’s toes and creating one heleva story! But not one that isn’t void of pain or danger.

When kids are cruel, when money runs out, when the stress level goes through the roof, I lose my focus on Linus’ words. I feel like I’m trapped in something other than Christmas. Many people dread the holiday season for these reasons. They begin trying their hardest to live in Christmas Land where there is a silent night. Put to sleep the reality of a birth, and huddle in the corner reading King Jimmy. They Rack up debt, they give into established family patterns, our motto is: LET’S SURVIVE DECEMBER! It’s Anti-Christmas!

When I listen to linus’ words, I know that Christmas is all about. But maybe it would be better for me if I knew what Christmas wasn’t about. Maybe I need to scream out like Charlie “What is Anti-Christmas all about? Does anyone know? Can anyone tell me?”

I was thinking about what Anti-Christmas might be… and I figured that it was probably lead by the Anti-Christ? In studying for this message I thought that it would be interesting to talk about the Anti-Christ. I donno, it just seemed like a fun Juxtaposition to Christmas. I broke out the Revelation last time, so Why not? Right? I was thinking “What better way to get people into the manger scene then by talking about a Devil Baby?” I thought how clever would it be to ask “are you celebrating Christmas or ANTI-CHRSTMAS?”

So... I have seen apocalyptic movies, Swartzenagger films, horror devil movies, none of them were going to prepare me to what I was about to read in the bible… I opened up the Book of Revelation to see what it said about the Anti-Christ and you know what it said? Wait for it… NOTHING!

Wha?!? Revelation doesn’t have Jack squat on the Anti-Christ! Imagine my disappointment… I wanted to unleash the truth to you on what sort of demonic practice some people celebrate when they put up the anti-christmas wreath… BUT NO ANTI-CHRIST in revelation! OK OK… There is a reference to a beast that comes out of the sea and a beast that comes out of the land (which people interpret to be something like a huge world leader… blah blah blah…), but in terms of the words anti-christ… NO WHERE! Of all places where the antichrist needs to be … NOT THERE. I thought I was going to read about a baby born of wealth and status from the spawn of Satan… laid in a golden bed. Yram (mary spelled backwards) is his mom and she wears red all the time (instead of blue)… ROCK AND ROLL! Yeah… not there.

OK so I’m still trying to find out what Anti-Christmas is all about. So I need to know… Is the Anti-Christ in the bible? Yes. The Anti-Christ is talked about in the most odd of places. 1st John and 2nd John. I was surprised to see this because John is such a lover, and a lover of Christ, that to have thoughts about a devil baby just seemed weird in this book. It just seemed weird that John would utter “God is Love” and thoughts on the Anti-Christ in the same book. As I was reading, I found my apocalyptic movie training slowly getting schooled. I saw Arnald Swartzenegger’s world melt, and Keanu’s wings torch before me. Because the reality of what John was saying about the Anti-Christ was something that didn’t have anything to do with Devil spawn. Here’s what he said:

In 1Jo 2:18 he writes “Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour.” This standing alone gives us anticipation for something awful… However when you read the next reference, you begin to see that it isn’t Damien he’s talking about at all. 1Jo 2:22 - “Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist--he denies the Father and the Son.” So the antichrist is someone that simply denies Jesus is the Christ. That’s it. The antichrist simply is the one who denys Jesus was from God. The fourth chapter confirms this: 1Jo 4:3 – “but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.“ Let’s add to this the only other reference to the antichrist in 2Jo 1:7 – “Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist.” This states that there are two other traits to the antichrist. They not only deny that Jesus was from God, but that he actually was a man; and to top it all off, they attempt to deceive others into believing the same thing.
At the time this was actually very relevant. (not that it isn’t now) because there was a group of people in John’s time that were talking about Jesus, but they were painting a picture that was not the real story. They were called the Gnostics. You can read their literature today. But they had two major things that chapped John’s britches:

The Gnostics were saying that Jesus wasn’t human. The natural world was made of elements that were too “beggarly” to house the creator. There is far too much sex and childbirth and other unclean things that don’t have anything to do with the salvation of man. As a result Jesus could not have assumed a material body… because it would be “Stuffed with excrement.” And that’s just wrong!

Others around John were saying that Jesus was simply a great man with God in him. They asked people to abandon their search for God and look for him by taking yourself as a starting point. They encouraged their followers to learn who it is who within you makes everything his own and says, ‘my God, my mind, my thought, my soul, my body.’ They taught the sources of sorrow, joy, love, hate, were all to be investigated, and when that was done, you would find God in yourself. They simply thought that Jesus did this very well and that’s why he achieved greatness.

These thoughts were worth addressing to John, because John experienced the REAL Jesus. The real WORD that became FLESH. And John needed to tell us that they are believing in something other than Christ. Against who Christ really is. Not a scary demon boy. But a very terrible notion to John that someone would think that a Creator didn’t care enough to really become human. Or that Jesus is just a really spiritual dude like Billy Graham. John said these people are believing something other than Christ. Other than the truth. And trying to deceive people into thinking these ways.

So who is the antichrist according to John? They are the one who denies the Father and the Son. The antichrist is the one who denies Jesus was a man. The one who tries to deceive you into thinking that he was only God or only man or neither. John isn’t prophesying doom. He’s developing discernment. A concept that we can possibly apply to our lives today: as we let the Christ family as they glow silently on our lawn. We don’t want to think that that night had the screaming of labor associated with it. OR even in the other extreme where there was a poor kid named jesus that was born with no god associated with him at all. John said “the Word became Flesh.”

I’m going to do it--- In Light of what John is saying about the things we look at instead of Christ Today I want to pose the question:

What are you celebrating instead of Christmas this year? It’s not Kwanza. Are you beholding the antichrist in the manger this year? Is your Christmas void of any humanity? Are you celebrating a holiday where you must find the perfect presents, racking up the perfect debt? Attending and being invited to the perfect parties? Even trying to make the season perfectly reflect the vision of Emmanuel- God with us? If your expectations are in the heavens, prepare to come down on the 26th with resentment towards the holiday and maybe even your faith.
Or what about the other side? Instead of Christmas this year are you in pain? Unable to move out of depression. Angry at others circumstances, and the twinkle in their eye, be aware that we live in conflict with our world. Be aware that God Saves. That God is intimately there with you in your pain. And wants you to be the success story.

Lights please:
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

“And that’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.” – He’s right… a baby was born, a very human baby full of tears and pain, and in conflict with our world because he was also a very divine child born outside of nature. Outside of what we can understand; both together in one baby.

John asks “how do you know you are a Christian?” His answer is: “you know you’re a Christian when you follow God’s commandments.” Not the ten commandments (those are societal… don’t murder… that a given societal rule.) but you are called to something far greater – called to affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity, willingness to stick with things until they are accomplished… etc. John says you wear these things like a badge. You don’t need to talk about it, because you are it, you believe it.

2000 years ago there was a child born, some thought he would grow up to be a great man, some thought he was God, John is convinced that he is both. And that to understand that, means that I must be impacted by that love. He says that if I believe, I will wear my care of others on me like a badge. John is saying if you GET IT, you will start to live in conflict with your peanuts world. You will have a saving God in your painful set of circumstances. Like the bible characters, and like Jesus, the conflict is to truly care. Matthew says that Jesus came to die for our sins; such a conflict that the world is still trying to wrap its mind around. God died because he cared for you; died because he was in conflict with this world and wanted you to know what love is. To die for your friends.

Today… let your conflicts with the holiday season reflect your care for others. Understand the balance between your pristine expectations and dreams, and the difficulty of a cruel peanuts world. Take a moment to contemplate the miracle of Jesus being born into this world because God loves you. And … Have a Very Merry Christmas.

The Whirlwind is in the Thorntree

I was looking through a photo album yesterday and I ran across an awesome picture of me in this orange Elizabethan outfit. I had the ruffles, the knickers AND the tights. It's important to know that this was my Senior Prom picture. My date wore a matching Orange Dress with boostiea and I think tights as well. I was part of the drama crowd, which explains most of that. It's also important to point out that within a sea of penguin suits, I was the one crowned prom king. There's also a reason for this: I campaigned. Though I didn't mind doing the KING AND QUEEN Dance with the well developed Josie Bacuzi, I couldn't help but to be sad for my date. We campaigned together. We both stood in Cleveland's hall and then later in the foyer of Mongomery park with our signs ---protesting the other potential royalty. I was sad that Timory was on the sidelines watching as the bubbles descended around Josie and I. I was sad the Seniors must not have really understood that we were together in our campaign--- A vote for one is a vote for the other. I was mainly sad because… we matched… that would have been a great picture!

Timory and I were not an "item," we were more close to brother and sister, or partners in crime. Meeting each other in daybright pre-school at 3. My mom recalls: "we were going to get some free babysitting and the local library at Story Time, and from across the carpet you saw Timory. Quickly you tugged at my pants in sheer glee, and in your mouse-child voice, began screaming 'Mommie mommie Timory's here!' You and she then practiced your tumbling on the Library floor as the poor woman reading the very hungry caterpillar, simply let her eyes glaze over with a dream of a better job."

Having one hyperactive child is one thing, but 2 in the same class was a creative cyclone of …fun… for us. Quickly the school staff realized that Geoff and Timory needed to be separated. Both for everyone's sake, and probably for the sake of our grades.

We didn't mind though, we had recess and afterschool. I was the only boy at her birthday and she the only girl at mine. As we grew, our sense of humor did as well. We would find ourselves on the stoop of her house with a microphone and an amp badgering runners, cars and other people in the neighborhood with our own talk show called "bother the neighbors." We would come up with fun games when we learned how to drive. Like driving slowly next to someone and yelling "why the proud strut?" or holding up signs on a road trip to the car next to us saying "nice toupee." My mom would say that we were going to get shot.

Graduation held a special place in our heart as we had orchestrated a mass cacophony of super balls to come crashing onto the stage as seniors were shaking the principal's hand. It didn't happen exactly the way we had planned, as we simply wanted our principal to have pockets full of super balls. But when someone panicked and yelled "throw them now!" There was something beautiful about the wave of rubber balls that found their way into the various instruments playing pomp and circumstance.

After graduation we did the college thing, and though we hung out, it was apparent that we were changing, possibly products of our environment, perhaps just growing up. But then something very strange happened: I became a Christian. Two years into our college experience and I went headlong into Christianity. After a brief stint with Buddhism, this was a new world for me: I was taking a bible college course in Old Testament. I was going to church 3 times a week (twice on Sundays) and that movement began changing me. Some people saw it for the better, others for the worse. There can be a lot loaded in the statement "Geoff got born again."

In that time I had one conversation with Timory about my faith. It quickly turned sour as the topic moved from my actual faith, to Decisions on Roe V Wade, ugly judgmentalism, and maybe a sprinkling of the crusades. With that, as a new Christian, I chose to not bring it up again, as I wasn't equipped at that moment, to defend the church's negative PR over the centuries. Plus I never got into politics.

At the end my first transferred year at Pepperdine, I got a terrible phone call. My mom was on the other end of the phone crying, and she reported to me that Timory had fallen through a window on her college campus, and she died. It was her birthday, and she was at a party (for her) and leaned against one of the older windows, it gave way and she fell 3 stories onto the pavement.

I didn't have time to breathe, my best friend, though we hadn't seen each other in a while, was gone. Then my mom hits me with the next news. "They want you to speak at the funeral."This sent my faith spinning. A great friend, my best friend… and then a new issue… My new faith, my controversial faith. It was this moment for me that created a crucible of thoughts that was beyond pain.

Let me tell you where I was, this is where I was; you guys can have your own theological spin on how things work, I have mine. And mine at the time told me Timory did not accept Jesus. Which according to the content I was reading and learning at the time had very terrible consequences. I will spare you the details, but I was tortured with my condemning thoughts towards her. I would be appalled as my mind would picture one of the most painful thoughts that I could surmise. Timory in Hell. Keep in mind It wasn't something that I wanted to think about or consider… It's just what the teachings were inferring. And I couldn't get it out of my head. My best friend not just Gone… but being tortured.

It wasn't too long with these thoughts until my friend Jen saw me completely melting down. She listened to my visions, and saw how difficult they were to me. She understood what I was saying and where I was coming from. Then, as if hope were a product, she gave me something to let me breathe. She wiped my tears, and said: "Geoff… you are not the Judge of Timory. Geoff … You don't have the right to put her there. Geoff… You do not know how far the grace of God extends. Only God can make those decisions. Not you." Jen wiped my tears away and gave me some perspective in the whirlwind of my pain

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Hey how about a light topic to read about? I have an idea: let's go through one of the most uncomfortable faith challenges in my life. We've been talking about things that are amazing: Prodigal son, Prodigal father, Grace… Well obviously the next thing we should talk about is Judgment. Let's talk about 21 year old best friends falling to their death. Oh and lets tack on thoughts about Hell and Judgment. Let's not mince words here. How about I also just put the cherry on top of this sermon and I donno… How about I open up the book of Revelation… The Apocalypse of Jesus Christ. Hey how religiously uncomfortable can I make you all? Hey how religiously out of my league can I put myself?

Somehow I gravitate towards miracles every Sunday that I speak. Perhaps it's me testing the resolve of God's faithfulness to his people. Over and over rescuing me from my own terrible mind; bringing up thoughts that create a huge elephant in the room. It might be God simply leading me towards challenge and oblivion in the same breath. Regardless, I've learned to trust God. To simply obey, because the outcome of going through the whirlwind is far better then avoiding it. So today's challenge for me is to open a book in the bible that causes me anxiety.

That book is the book of revelation; high anxiety book for me number one, because after working on the street with homeless people I noticed a scientific correlation between the number of Revelation Passages someone knows or can quote, and the amount that someone needs to be taken to the crazy house. Secondly After seeing the various apocalypse movies out there, I'm not all that excited about fire and blood and dragons and all that. Third, and this is after reading it a couple times, I get a pretty good sense that it is about the end of the world and judgment day… again not my favorite thoughts.

I get the Jesus thing. I enjoy the Jesus thing. I love the forgiveness Jesus. The clever quipping Jesus. The Jesus that is in my heart. But when Jesus is soaked in blood and has a sword in his mouth… that's a weird Jesus.

Revelation is full of weird. And if you read it you won't be far along and you'll probably ask… what do I do with this? The thing is, the Book of Revelation, was not written to be riddle to amuse ourselves with. It was actually given to believers under a lot of pressure from the state, religious institutions, the economy, and even their fellow church members. Let me paint the picture:

Jesus' resurrection was about sixty five years ago. Most of the people who knew Him personally are dead, and a second generation of Christians have grown up. The gospel asserts that Jesus is King of the world and is coming back soon to claim His domain. But as the years pass, he still has not come. Now a madman has become emperor of Rome who actually believes the poet's praises' that he is a god incarnate. He likes to be addressed as "Our Lord and God." He has decreed that anyone who holds public office, anyone who testifies In court – practically everyone – must offer a pinch of incense to the emperors guardian spirit and declare "Caesar is Lord" if a person refuses to worship the emperor. He may lose his job, his home, even his life. To answer this question for the embattled Christians in the first century and every century since, God gave a series of visions to someone named John. It is called the "revelation of Jesus Christ; which God gave him to show his servants what must soon take place.

I can't go through the whole book with you right now (I know you want that). You should do it though. In the third verse of the first chapter it states an explicit blessing for just reading it. That's a reason all itself for you to do it. Many people have their take on what is what in the book.There are many themes that most people agree on. God's character, nature, and attributes. Christ's Work and results. What is the universe's true meaning and purpose? Who has the Power? Who seems to? Evil's Source, and its nature. The kingdom of God. And the biggie: Our response to the book.

This particular theme is really meaning: in response to the other themes… But I'd have to say that in my first reading of this book (in a while) I had some responses that were not so happy. First of all, as I was reading I was asking… Where'd my John go. My word became flesh john. My God is love John. Um when I opened Revelation I may have gotten a blessing, but I think it was a mixed blessing. Here John is void of any amazing love. Just, BOOM--judgment! Hailstorms. Crazy scary stuff. I looked around after I finished and wondered what John was doing. Trying to make sense of it all, my research showed that John was adopting a certain style of writing for the time. Apocalyptic writing was big back then. And the point of it was to show that God wins. Very often when we read these passages we read them in a context of fear, and danger. But what this told me was John is using a poetic form to tell you a hopeful message. As I began to understand this, the nightmare future was somewhat relaxed. But I still couldn't grasp the hope of it all. All I could get for myself was God's judgment. I saw the earth being judged. It brought me back to my friend Timory, and I couldn't be excited at the tearless end. I just felt confused.

This apocalyptic future oriented book wiped away the salve of responsibility that Jen had put on my eyes so many years ago. And it was apparent that I needed to grapple with something. I needed to grapple with the concept of what being SAVED really means. WHY IS JUDGEMENT AN OPTION? These concepts fly around in my head and I realize that I have to come to terms with the fact that I have issues with Judgment. This concept causes me get caught up in a whirlwind where I just can't stomach the implications…I want to throw my faith off, and figure out something that is nicer.

As I looked into these concepts I found that to Save means get out of trouble. There is a lot of trouble out there: sickness, political intrigue, oppression, poverty, imprisonment and all kinds of danger and evil. God saves means God intervenes to rescue. As I looked into it, I found God compassionately and miraculously steps in and intervenes,. He steps in and protects his people from their enemies and themselves. One form of that protection is of all things… Judgment!

Looking deeper I found Judgment to be a form of salvation. I had assumed that when I read revelation or heard about the judgment of God it was something bad or awful; but in the biblical context it means "The coming of Truth and Justice into our deceived and oppressed world." It's rare that you come across someone that is waving the evil flag. Yelling "dude I love deception and oppression!" So realistically it begins to help me when I see that judgment is Truth overturning deception. Essentially if some bad or dishonest people are out to deceive and oppress others, God brings Justice by bringing judgment. There begins to be natural consequences to their bad actions, and as a result the evildoers are incapacitated and cannot fulfill the additional evil that they've intended. If others are misjudging you, then God comes as your vindicator, your justifier. God tells the truth, which exposes the lies of your mis-judgers. That was what apocalyptic writing was about … Over and over the biblical writers anticipated the day that God will come to judge evil, to expose it and permanently incapacitate it while vindicating good. This to them was SALVATION. They were SAVED when evil was GONE.

Sometimes it can be more complicated though… What if we are the ones that have done evil? What if we see the just consequences of doing evil coming upon us? In this way God saves by Judging, and then forgiving. So many times the danger that we got into is self created, self sabotaging, and most of us keep doing it because we are self deluded, and function in self denial. God names what the evil is. He penetrates our self denial and self delusion and begins the act of saving by telling the truth. But then God goes further. As the consequences of our bad behavior looms over us, we realize that we've done something stupidly wrong. And we do something about it, as we become truly sorry, as we have a change of heart, God goes further by forgiving us; thus bringing salvation. Salvation is something that happens when we experience both judgment and forgiveness. Without both, we don't end up with true salvation.

Forgiveness without conviction is not forgiveness; it's irresponsible toleration. It doesn't lead to reconciliation or peace--- it leads to chaos. Conversely Judgment without mercy is not salvation but condemnation. It doesn't lead to reconciliation or peace--- it leads to alienation. The good news of salvation is that God Sent Jesus not to condemn, but to save. To save by bringing Justice with Mercy, True Judgment AND True Forgiveness. First by exposing our wrong ( or judging), so that we can face our wrong and turn from it, and then by forgiving our wrong, God intervenes and breaks the chain of cause and effect of offense and alienation so we are truly saved/liberated/rescued from the vicious cycle we've created.

After learning this, the whirlwind begins to die down in me and I can begin to start to see what John is trying to tell. Of an actual beautiful scene where the world of evil is toppled and the joy of peace is true.

At age 70, Johnny Cash in 2002 released the song, "The Man Comes Around," In the liner notes; the artist writes "The initial idea for the song came from a dream. I was in Nottingham, England and had bought a book called "Dreaming of the Queen." The book talked about the great number of people in that country who dream that they are with Queen Elizabeth II. I dreamed that I walked into Buckingham Palace, and there she sat, knitting or sewing…Another woman sat beside her. As I approached, the queen looked up at me and said, "Johnny Cash! You're like a thorn tree in a whirlwind." Then of course, I awoke. I realized that "Thorn tree in a whirlwind" sounded familiar to me. Eventually I decided that it was biblical, and I found it in the book of Job. From there it grew into a song, and I started lifting things from the book of Revelation. It became "The Man Comes Around."

The song begins with Cash speaking Revelation's bit about the white horse, an acoustic guitar chunks its way in, then Cash, his baritone with an eerie edge, sings his vision of the apocalypse, offering a choice between the communion cup of salvation or a nameless grave in the potter's field. By the time the song ends, and whether you believe it or not, you're stone sure that Cash believes his version of events to come. The song is both thrilling and sobering, and it — along with the rest of Cash's work in the illness-plagued last decade of his life — is a testament to the creative will of a tenacious artist.

Johnny Cash, you are like thorn tree in a whirlwind." It doesn't take long, looking over the events and challenges of his life, to see that Queen Elizabeth II was right. There seems to be a prickliness to the man, a painful smacking of branches together, a restless wandering leaving him tattered and warn. The lines on his face and his wispy white hair talk of a soul who has lived hard and has felt the pang of many mistakes. Describing his wife, June Carter Cash, he said, "it took her a long time, but she tamed me. Sometimes though when the wind is blowing late at night I wish I was still wild." Most recently he said this of her.

"I am persuaded that nothing can separate me from my love of my God, my wife, and my music. Life is rich when I can come home, after hours in the studio, feeling as frayed as a hundred Big G strings, and curl up to June Carter. She's a soft, fluffy Mama Bear. That's when I give God a "Thanks a lot, Chief." Sometimes in the morning I'll say "Good Morning" to the Awesome Presence, but sometimes I forget to.

"Home from the studio . . . it seals the day's work when I relate to June what I did that day. But the music never stops. It's an unending loop through my brain. Over and over and over again. Finally my head settled on this one particular song, and won't let go."

The whirlwind in Job and the apocalyptic writing of John's Revelation can do that to you. They can get in your brain and keep running around in there. There is something about the sound of that whirlwind… God's voice in Job. It's like God is angry and mocking, tired and yet determined. It's as if God has been listening for far too long, and finally has grown weary of our dribble. It is in this moment, like Cash described, in the moment when we start to see the rather vain quality of our speculations, of our grand schemes, our misplaced confidence, in the midst of this, a voice comes through and drives us down to earth. These strange and rather outlandish voices in scripture can each become a whirlwind that make us want to look away. Sometimes the voices are impersonal and glitzy like Revelation, sometimes they are painful and personal like the death of a friend, Or sometimes they are even certain concepts that conflict with everything inside you--Like judgment. It seems God uses the whirlwind of these voices to shake things up.

Shaking your trees allows you to see where your roots are planted and eventually brings you great clarity. There are moments in life that turn our knobs and bring us into sharp painful resolution, moments that reveal how we take for granted the fragility of life. In a heartbeat a young girl can fall from a building ending her life. And in the midst this swirl of change, you can only ask for salvation. Save us from Evil! To accept the whirlwind, and somehow look above for hope. To peer through the jungle of disaster to see through the trees a glint of light; that spark of hope that we must hold onto. Perhaps to hope for someday when all your tears will be wiped away. Not a quick fix, but like the day John of Patmos described, a day beyond tears, a land over yonder where death has been swallowed up and cast away. When all evil is exposed for what it is, and forgiveness and the love of God is our daylight. These are the images of a God that understands where the whirlwind takes us. Enduring a cross that understands how painful exposed roots can be. As a result he comes close and says, I am with you. Believe in me and trust in my love for you.

It makes sense that the church was born with a rushing wind, a whirlwind. Church is a cyclone of chaos that picks up and spins your own opinions, socializations, and causes you to collide with each other. In our messy lives we lose the clarity. Like Job got lost in his feelings of woe, or like John getting lost in his visions, we can lose sight of what is good here and now. We lose the clarity Johnny Cash spoke of when he wrote, "Life is rich when I can come home . . . and curl up to June Carter."

Sometimes the whirlwind is the rush of living life, and it becomes rich. Sometimes life is good and tasty, like a song with an amazing hook that just makes you want to dance. Sometimes, though, the whirlwind is in the thorn tree and it hurts.

I did speak at Timory's funeral a week later. I stood up there in front of an auditorium of people who were in midst of a whirlwind of pain. Their daughter, friend, and neighbor was gone, and THIS was a great injustice. My personal decision of her soul was placed where I needed it to be: With the one who loves, tells the truth, and forgives. The one who knows when to expose evil, and when people need to be comforted. As I spoke, I spoke of a girl who I loved very deeply. I told stories of the antics we performed, and I ended up throwing a basket of super balls on the audience. It made people remember that life IS rich, and that we need to look for it.

Today, it is my desire that God would give you the hope of his grace, that you would squint your eyes and peer through the whirlwind and capture that sparkle of a vision of that day where your tears are wiped away, and there is no more pain.

The Grumpy Jesus

Lately I've been surprised by the books I've been reading. I hear about a book, and I go Wow, "A long way gone: a memoir of a child soldier" and then I dive in and am surprised when its a good 100 pages of Battle porn. Slicing off of heads, rape and incessant killing. Then I ask myself, what did you expect from A MEMOIR OF A CHILD SOLDIER.
A couple of months ago I read a book written by Julia Sweeney, you might remember her from her classic character that even made the silver screen, PAT, the endogenous HE/SHE that the joke was everyone having awkward moments trying to figure out his/her gender. She had a book that was recommended, I thought it would be cool because it had two things that interested me: Comedy and God. I'm a dork. It was called "Letting Go of God." Again for some reason the title didn't get through to me. I'm not sure if I didn't read the synopsis, or if I just didn't believe the title. But sure enough by the end of
the book I was surprised. There Julia was... a happy content atheist. She started out with these wonderful catholic stories, and for some reason, I thought her journey was going to take a cyclical approach like some sort of Shakespeare play. But nope. happily without God, there she stood at the end of the book, leaving me with this void of clever
closure, lesson learned, sometimes you can judge a book by its cover.
What it did for me was it made me look deep and ask "what keeps me a Christian?" (After some brief introspection I personally found out that nothing besides my relationship with God was keeping me in the CHRISTIANITY CAMP. In theory God has the ability to move me wherever he may want. Someone may have issue with me saying "it is the right expression for now"... but the question brought up that my relationship with God was far more important to me, then the form or expression that it took on. But really that's pretty theoretical anyway as I can't imagine God moving me other places. It really doesn't matter, I guess I was sharing where that introspection led me.) I thought it was an interesting and engaging question so I asked others. Some had interesting answers,
and some had interesting stories.
One story came from my mother in law Mrs Eddington. Who by the way is the kindest most faithful woman. She's the kind of woman you ask to pray for something and SHE DOES. One day Crystal and I were hanging out with her mom and dad and the subject of THE TERRIBLE YEAR came up. I was intrigued. 1986 was the year that it all went down. 5 close friends
died, one of them was shot in the head by her boyfriend. Cliff (my father in law) lost his Job so the family was destitute. And on top of it his best friend who was a pastor of their church, was kicked out in a very ugly way (political yick). I saw a fire in Mrs Eddington's eyes that I hadn't seen before, as she told more tales of how awful that year was. She said passionately to crystal and I that she expressed to cliff... "WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. YOU HAVE FAMILY IN TENNESSEE. LETS PACK UP AND MOVE." She said I wanted to run because it was so bad. We didn't want to answer the phones cause there would be a new friend who died.
I, knowing that they still hold onto their faith, and did at this time asked. What kept you sane... what kept you going... what kept you with God. She talked about how she prayed. I asked if she got any answers? and she said not right away. What else did you do?Well I prayed a lot.And?I looked in the bible for answers, I really searched to find something.did you find any?Well not right away.But did you?Yes.... (And here I was about to get my answer. The answer that can get someone through anything... I'm so excited!!!!) One day I was on my last legs and I was asking God give me something, and then I looked down in my bible, and there it was... (What is it... the answer) Be thankful in all things.
At this point the record scratched and Crystal said: "did that work? cause that would piss me off."
And it did work for her. It was what she needed to persevere. And I came away from that happy that I got her answer. It was beautiful simple and challenging.
Challenging because I can just imagine some preacher listening to the troubles of someone, and then callously spouting off at the end as if he didn't even hear about the deaths and pain and says with a southern accent; Dear, the bible says that regardleuhs what ya'll are goin thru... Be Thankful in ALL THINGS. All this is wibble wobble stinkin' thinkin', and when glory befalls you in the end you'll look on this and laugh. At which point I say. "what a dick."
Religion is one of the things that turned Julia's faith spigot off, the other one was reading the bible. She took a year bible study where she read the entire bible, and found that the God in the old testament a little rash. She grieved at the idea of God judging nations and was angered at how much of a dick the old testament God was.
So I was perusing the new testament this week and since it is fall season where scary things occur... I thought I'd share with you a scary story in the new testament. One that messes with my idea of Jesus. Because I can say "religious people are dicks" or "That Judging Old testament God is a dick" but when you venture into Jesus territory, your messing with things.... Cause its Jesus. You don't call Jesus a dick, unless you want to mess with things.
So here you go. A scary fall tale of Jesus... the dick. You can make the decision if I am being too harsh.
Matthew 15:21 Then Jesus left Galilee and went north to the region of Tyre and Sidon. (Here Jesus is on the border of Israel. so He's bordering on GENTILE territory. is it a surprise that ) 22 A Gentile[e] woman who lived there came to him, pleading, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! For my daughter is possessed by a demon that torments her
severely.”
(Apparently, there are levels of possession, and according to some the language in this passage lets you know its bad. Probably Beds moving heads turning, pea soup vomiting. This is bad. Your daughter is the devil. And not necessarily JUST a teenager. She HAS A PROBLEM. Now this isn't the run of the mill, give her two Valium or its a phase type of
crap. Its big, spiritual, messed up stuff. And hey... Jesus is in town, and hey he is the Son of God, Um... I think he can help. To this Syrophanecian Woman, Jesus was the answer for this torment in her life. there was no other answer, and she told him by her language. "Son of David" is the language of someone being called the Messiah. She new
that He was IT for the answer.)
23 But Jesus gave her no reply, not even a word. (Um... Hello? My daughter has a snake bite and you have the anti venom in your pocket I'm not just going away. Helloooo!... I need your help... I need you to take this demon out of my daughter.)
Then his disciples urged him to send her away. “Tell her to go away,” they said. “She is bothering us with all her begging.” 24 Then Jesus said to the woman, “I was sent only to help God’s lost sheep—the people of Israel.”(what? why are you on the border of Canaan if you are not going to reach out to the people on the border? What about that idea you preached days ago on the sabbath? the one where if there is an ox that falls in a hole or whatever, will you not try to rescue it?.... But then look at this woman's response:)
25 But she came and worshiped him, pleading again, “Lord, help me!”(this woman has balls. As a Canaanite, she is a nationality that has been a pain to the Jews for ages. the first ones to have "the promised land" and also put Israel in captivity several times... Racial tension is high, as we can see by Jesus' next rather painful comment. Yet She knows who he is and what he can do)
26 Jesus responded, “It isn’t right to take food from the children and throw it to the dogs.” (Um... I'm pretty sure that Jesus just called her a dog. utilizing a common slur Jesus uses a common Jewish reference for a Canaanite. Not pretty, and exactly what he is saying here. Um Racist much Jesus? Is this a bad time? Did we catch you on a bad day? There is something to say that you are "the Son of David", the Messiah, the one promised to the nation of Israel... But what happened to "A light to the Gentiles?" 27 She replied, “That’s true, Lord, but even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.” (polite and belittled the woman knows that leaving in a huff or fighting with his comments will get her no closer to her daughter's health. And so...)
28 “Dear woman,” Jesus said to her, “your faith is great. Your request is granted.” And her daughter was instantly healed.
For most of us this is the end. The Jesus we know. the one who heals people. The one who laughs at their lack of faith and picks them out of the water. But does the fact that we just witnessed racial slurs coming from our savior bother anyone? It was a story like this that rubbed Julia Sweeney the wrong way about the Jesus that she thought she heard about. And in my estimation its the sort of thing that others should take offense to it as well. I think it is most offensive because I have Jesus on a pedestal somewhere and I have my own life somewhere else. Jesus is in my ideal world, and my life is filled with things that offend me like this passage. It is silent when I need an answer. It has people that seem to be better, that deserve it more, and it is full of accusations of insensitivity.
So there you go... the Spooky Halloween story of your Jesus and mine being a racist dick. How do you say Jesus, why were you a racist dick to this woman that needed your help. It's a riddle that I came up with. How do you call Jesus a racist dick in the middle of a sermon, and survive? (I'm not sure I can)
---------------
Proverbs30:28 has an equally strange riddle as well
The lizard taketh hold with her hands, Yet is she in kings' palaces.
John Bunyan the writer of a pilgrim's progress replaces this idea of a lizard with something possibly much more relevant to our eyes, not only with our thoughts towards the beast, but also because its that time of year when spooky creepy crawly things come out.
Christiana is in the interpreter's house, and the interpreter brings her into a grand room. Fit for a king. a palatial bedroom, and he asks her what she sees. And she walks around and says its an amazing room. He says look closer. Looking around again she says I see nothing out of the ordinary but an ugly spider on the wall. And sure enough that was the riddle. Full of venom, ugly and hairy, yet living in the most palatial of places alongside the king.
You may think that God sees us like spiders, and that we look like ugly creatures to Him and we have no place in such a fine room, But God uses this example of our venomous and ill-favored friend to show us how our faith holds us in His presence. This spider has taken hold with her hands, and, as I see, lives in the best room of the house. Do you see? That, however full of the venom of sin you might be, yet you may, by the hand of Faith, lay hold of and dwell in the best room that belongs to the King above?
Her faith held her up in the silence of her Lord. Her faith held her up when she felt ridiculed and annoying to others. Her faith held her up when she saw that her venom gave her no entitlement to the room. Her faith held fast to Jesus, to see him as he truly is, to love him, and trust him, as a Friend, even when he seems to come forth against her as an Enemy. This is the faith that Jesus commends her, and this is the faith that received her answer.
Today, Where does your answer lie. Does your answer lie in giving up because your prayer has faded away. The deafening silence of the one you know talks to this person and that person, will not even speak to what you have to say! Does your answer get brushed away by the crowd. When it seems that so many have a better "place" with God. Their crowding
around him is far too much to bear. You say to yourself, they are His people I don't belong. Does your answer lie in offense at a brutal master, who is insensitive with his words, and doesn't care for your feelings.
Put your eggs in any of these baskets, and your daughter is still is filled with snake venom, and your life is as well. "But why cant God just know that I'm in pain? why can't God just do something about it? Why can't God talk to me?"
Is it ever right to be treated like an ugly animal? I have at times felt like I have been brushed off of God's shoulder (ahhhh). I have at times dwelt in the camp of God the prick. "god did this to me" we say, I Don't know what to do, but I hate being here, and have no where to turn. Why???
It feels like we're inside the movie scream (which I haven't seen nor will I, cause the concept freaks me out too much). There is some maniac that is into torture to punish us for our sin. Someone might say it is our test, but when I think of tests I think of the SAT's where my slow reading and slow comprehension, made me look terrible. Full of stress and bad grades.
Why? If you are here, at this place, I don't know if I want to give you the answer. The tension of the place that you are at, me giving you an answer may seem trite. "here's your problem, blah blah blah." Me giving you a pad answer for all of your complex circumstances, may feel as painful as being called a Dog for being where you are, who you are. Foolish. It would be like Job's friends emerging from their silence, and telling him stuff that wasn't relevant or even true.
Yet let me at least give you the Syrophenician Woman's answer. Why did Jesus treat her like this? It just seems as though that in this instance He hadn't eaten his bread for the day, or was up to late praying and hadn't had his morning coffee, or maybe he was with his buddies, like danny zooko at the beginning of grease when he acts all cool in
front of his friends, and acts like a jerk towards Sandy.
She cried out to him; where was the Jesus who is always open and attentive to the cries of the poor, who is always ready to give an answer of peace? But to this poor woman there is no answer.
When the disciples spoke well of her; where was the Jesus who's grace gives us every entitlement to go to his throne? But this woman is stopped in her tracks by the very Rules that he is undercutting with the teachers of the law on Saturday.
When she continued; where was the Jesus that welcomes all the little children of the world, Red and Yellow Black and white? (except if you're a Canaanite) Surely that song also apples to Canaanite's? Right? Yet he gives her not only a repulse, but a reproach as well.
Surely in this story this woman outshines the Grumpy Jesus. Surely this woman's syrophenician skin actually looks more beautiful than the Racist pure blood Jew who seems to be as cold as the world around us.
And I think that's where the truth of this story is illuminated. We would love to always have at our beckon call the creator of the universe, "genie, yes master" but if you have lived any sort of life. You understand that life actually is pretty grumpy. You may not have your daughter vomiting up pea soup on your good bed linens, but there is truth to
the fact that there is something in your life, and a grumpy Jesus has your answer.
You may see him for how you see him, But Christ knows you all the way. He knows what is in your heart, knows the strength of your faith, and knows how able you are, by his grace, to break through such discouragements. He therefore meets you with them, that the challenge to your faith might be moved into praise, honour, and glory. which is why those that are through the valley of the shadow of death beam, though he slay me, yet I trust in him.
Jesus heard her, and was pleased with her, and strengthened her with strength in her soul to prosecute her request (Ps. 138:3; Job 23:6), though he did not immediately give her the answer she expected. By seeming to draw away the desired mercy from her, he drew her on to be so much the more passionate for it.
The thing is, Every accepted prayer is not immediately an answered prayer. Sometimes God seems not to regard his people’s prayers, he's not asleep or surprised (Ps. 44:23; Jer. 14:9; Ps. 22:1, 2); nor is he angry at you(Ps. 80:4; Lam. 3:8, 44); but it is to prove, and so to improve, your faith, and to make his answer more glorious, and for you, more welcome. For the result, at the end, shall speak, and shall not lie, (Heb. 2:3. See Job
35:14)
Continued persistence may be uneasy to men, even to good men; but Christ loves to be cried after. For everyone, the subject of entitlement is always going to fall short. You are not God, and it is by mercy that He gives you audience. You did nothing to deserve it, yet he has given it none the less. On the other hand to see that there are those that are around God, it is a great trial. When we give a question whether we are one of those to whom Christ was sent. This could cause us to falter before approaching the cross. But, blessed be to God, no room is left for that doubt; the distinction is taken away; we are sure that he gave his life a ransom for many, and if for many, why not for me?
Finally those whom Christ intends most signally to honour, he first humbles and lays low in a sense of their own meanness and unworthiness. We must first see ourselves to be as dogs, less than the least of all God’s mercies, before we are fit to be dignified and privileged with them. Those who are not humble will immediately take offense and leave,
those that are, will realize their lack of entitlement and persist in asking the King of the answers.
Today you have your life ahead of you. You have your prayers and requests beaming out of you. I want to encourage you that no matter what your situation, that God loves you, knows you, and has crafted this life for you so that you can be more then a conqueror. That you may live by the hands of your faith, in the greatest room in the house. It is my hope that other graces will shine bright in your life as well -- wisdom, humility, meekness, patience, and perseverance in prayer; Yet it is by your faith that these other products of grace will come in.
Your life, your pain, your daughter that is on her last legs that is torturing you... Even the silence, ridicule, or inadequacy that further places you on the chopping block. Behind the Vail of that world of pain that you see now is God who tells you:HOLD FAST.I AM THE ANSWER.I DO LOVE YOU.I.... am not a dick.

A Simple Kiss to Wake Up

After listening to Jim Henderson speak last week at the Bridge, I was very encouraged. Somehow, he articulated very well something that I knew innately--the development of Beliefism vs. the actual organic following of Jesus. This was very good for me, as I have known that something was wrong with people who "believe" the "right doctrine", have "correct thoughts", and hold others at bay from God along with them. But I wasn't sure where the disconnect existed. Thankfully, Jim addressed these thoughts in a way that put words on something that I just called "pricks that don't get it".
Anyway, it was like a breath of fresh air. And I felt validated, at ease, on the right track. As I spoke to others, it seemed like that's how they felt as well. Some of us have been a part of the Religion vs Relationship talk. The one in which the preacher demeans all the Pharisees or whatever legalism at the time, and leads you into a sales closing, at a fixed rate of Jesus for the next 30 years. You need to have a relationship… not a religion. Which is true, nothing wrong with that switch. However, I was noticing as I was talking to people that "religion" is not something that appeals to many of my friends these days. I don't see people lining up at churches, except for when there is food. I don't see the latest stained glass or hot sermon message on the E! channel. So what Jim was saying at The Bridge, though well articulate and right on, was not challenging to anyone that doesn't have a taste for "RELIGION". It seems as though the religion vs. relationship message is played out to the point that people are not interested in the things of God because beliefism has created a culture of exclusion, and therefore alienated itself and its message of hope to a message of the elite.
That said, I was wondering if there was something that we could be challenged by in Jim's message??? I knew innately that we, as a culture, weren't interested in religion, and relationship/following Jesus was where it needed to go. There was no tension between relationship and religion, in fact, probably the opposite is true: There is a huge repelling and distancing from the "r" word.
I talked to my friend, Todd, about this, and I realized that there was something pulling me in. Because of my polarity shift away from religion, the iconic world of beliefism, stained glass, and Sunday school, I had gravitated to another "easing of my mind" away from the freedom of Christ (whatever that means). Todd said "the church world isn't my religion… my self-preservation is." Meaning: so many of us get trapped by the drama of "making it happen" we believe “I have nothing but me on my side.” If you believe in God, it's kind of like entertaining the thought of God as a wingman, hopefully taking one for the team, but understanding when he doesn't make out with the ugly chick, so we can go out with her hot friend. We find ourselves relying on ourselves, and God is only an extra benefit if he decides to show up today. These thoughts have no joy associated with it. In fact, it moves me into deeper and deeper cynicism. Which Todd tells me -- Cynicism is cleverly disguised disappointment. I can't say it is that dire for me. But I know for some people, that is all they have.
So I guess I should be honest, my cynicism is my religion. My disappointment is my religion. My failures are my religion. My escaping people's questions with humor are how I practice my religion. These are the things that cause me to run to church, and in the same stride know that at any moment lightning will strike me down for doing so. When someone simply prays besides me, I don't have the luxury to believe that he is doing any good for the people in Sierra Leone… or for me, for that matter. I can mouth the words “good news”, but I don't get it. I hear that God say that you have worth, but why do I feel so worthless? And, at the same time, why do I think that the idea of my faith tends to shove me toward feelings of worthlessness? When someone tells me God loves me, why is the cruel cross there all bloody and rugged not giving me any answers but "gore". Who can save me from my religion?
My religion of disappointment underlines the terrible government dilemmas that are out there tending to place people in housing that is inhumane, or cause them to die crossing a wall with serrated wire. My religion trumpets strongly about the people that are hungry and rages about how poverty, upbringing, and pain has eclipsed so many's understandings of what it means to have a choice in anything. I am constantly ground into the dirt about the fear of global warming, the machine of agribusiness, and the crimes on wallstreet. Drugs are seen as a course of dealing with this reality, as Christianity tends to give us chumps like Tilton and Hinn, or simply, lawsuits about sexual abuse. Where is the “good news” in my religion?
It's no wonder I'm done. Its no wonder that many of you are done. It's no wonder that when we walk into the walls of a church these days we see people that don't trust the person speaking up there. It’s because the message just seems out of touch. The landscape of the global village has introduced discouragement, disillusionment, and the belief that nothing is happening unless we are making it happen. And perhaps, even though our words say differently, our actions indicate that God is dead or in a coma somewhere. Being “born again” is dumb. Because the people that use the phraseology are culturally unaware.
Yet, here I am, in church, or at least talking about it, maybe hoping to somehow taste what Jesus really meant. I would love to be freed by my religion, but my religion has me trapped in this depressing place where I take one look at the bible, and I say "tell me more about how your bumper sticker is going to make me feel good about myself." I guess I would love to taste what Jesus really meant when he said you need to be born again… Did he mean "unless you are 'culturally unaware' you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven"? You must be out of touch and have your space invaded in order to find the Joy that comes from God?
I stumbled across a book called the Ragamuffin Gospel, on the sidewalk outside my apartment on Friday night. It's usually a place where homeless stand to get a donation because it's right off the freeway and there is a light that allows you to feel guilty for about a minute and a half. Obviously some good Christian wanted to unload some passive gospel to these homeless men placing a series of books about Christianity with a cardboard message on top saying "free books." I looked through them and passed on the James Dobson book, and found Brennan Manning's book. I had heard it was good, and so I left with it.
Inside was this story:
“In March 1986 I was priviledged to spend an afternoon with an Amish family in Lancaster, Pennsylvania… Jonas Zook is an eighty-two-year-old widower. He and his children raise piglets for their livelihood. The oldest, Barbara, fifty-seven, manages the household. The Three younger children, Rachel, fifty-three, Elam, forty-seven, and Sam, Forty-five, are all severely retarded. When I arrived at noon with two friends, little Elam – about four feet tall, heavy-set, thickly bearded, and wearing the black Amish outfit with the circular hat – was coming out of the barn some fifty yards away, pitchfork in hand. He had never laid eyes on me in his life; yet, when he saw me step out of the car, this little Mongoloid dropped the pitchfork and ran lickety-split in my direction. Two feet away, he flung himself at me, wrapped his arms around my neck, his legs around my waist, and kissed me on the lips with fierce intensity for a full thirty seconds.
Well, I was temporarily stunned and terribly self conscious. But in the twinkle of an eye, Jesus set me free from propriety. I buried my lips into Elam's and returned his kiss with the same enthusiasm. Then he jumped down, wrapped both his hands around my right arm, and led me on a tour of the farm
A half hour later, Elam sat next to me at lunch. Midway through the meal I turned around to say something. Inadvertently, my right elbow slammed into Elam's ribcage. He didn't wince, he didn't groan. He wept like a two year old child. His next move undid me.
Elam came over to my chair, planted himself on my lap, and kissed me even harder on the lips. Then he kissed my eyes, nose, forehead, and cheeks.
And there I was, dazed dumbstruck, weeping, and suddenly seized by the power of a great affection. In his utter simplicity little Elam Zook was an Icon of Jesus. Why? Because at that moment his love for me did not stem from any attractiveness or lovability on my part. Elam loved me whether I was kind or unkind, pleasant or nasty. His love arose from a source outside of himself and myself.”
I'm wondering if my cynical religion is missing the point. My gaze on what I know reality is could be strangling something basic and simple that I really need. It's as if something as awkward as an Amish dwarf needs to jump on me to make me see that perhaps I need to be freed from my "take on life." Perhaps this is what Jesus meant by being born again. YOU MUST BE seized by the power of a great affection so that the simplicity of the message can break apart your fears, awkwardness, or "take". To be seized by the power of a great affection does not seem to relate to my world at all. It does, in fact, require a fair amount of lunacy to listen to this simplistic love song of God. To have a forty year old "special" pig farmer with a big round hat planting a big one on you is a silly way to experience the kingdom of God. But I need something that is that jarring to make me stop being pissed at the "world" and start enjoying the fact that I was kissed.
I guess my first reaction to the myopic voice telling me "simply believe in this affection" is to go back to the facts. I rebuttal "are you saying that I just need to believe in love?" "am I supposed to turn off my radar of injustice that everyone (namely Christians) is committing everywhere?" I think of how corrupt clergy have exploited the message to get agendas fulfilled. I hear what this voice is saying as an outdated calming agent to put to rest my thinking mind. I think cynic cynic cynic. And I know there is something to what Jesus is saying… but how can anyone call the way we are living Good News? I want someone to kiss me and wake me up from this cynical world that I have worshipped at. I want to believe in love again, but how can I without setting free reality?
I guess I need to look at it simply. When we say “good news”, what are we really saying? As I see it the truth of the good news of Jesus does not rise and fall on the issues of corrupt clergy, the exploitation of the poor, or irrational fanaticism of modern dictatorships. I simply can't say I believe it or I don't unless I get at the heart of what the good news is, which I'm pretty sure it is an answer to the most fundamental questions a person may ask – is life absurd or does it have a purpose? Jesus replies to this question that not only does our life have purpose but God has directly intervened in human affairs to make abundantly clear what that purpose is. What is that? That what will blow apart cynicism by generous, forgiving , saving love.
Everything tends to have magnetism about it. How can I grasp this good news without being taken back down into the death of this sad world that I live in? How can I believe in the life, when I see death winning? In the end, will life triumph over death? Jesus answers: the kingdom of my Father cannot be overcome, even by death. In the end everything will be all right, nothing can harm you permanently, no disappointment is conclusive. Suffering, failure, loneliness, sorrow, discouragement, and death will be part of your journey, but the kingdom of God will conquer all these horrors. No evil can resist grace forever. No evil can resist grace forever… NO EVIL CAN RESIST GRACE FOREVER!
In the first century Jesus was telling people about the care of God for them. Saying that an old era was done and a new one was dawning. The only appropriate response is to be in awe, and well up with joy and wonder. But instead of saying, “I believe you Jesus” or “You are a nut!” they skirted it as well, by asking questions. "When are we going to be out of captivity from the Romans?" "I want to see you do an apocalyptic sign" "why aren't you obeying the law?" or "Whose side are you on in this legal matter?"
Jesus replied that the Romans were not the issue, nor the law, the signs, or where he stood on the issues. Instead the relentless love of God is the issue, far behind that fact everything else trailed. How can this be? When there are child soldiers in Sierra Leone? A war in Iraq? How can this be when so and so committed such an atrocity that he must be removed from the church? All are valid, but all are far behind the good news that God loves you (Loves him, Loves those in other countries). Jesus said that he did not come to discuss the laws, nor challenge the Roman Empire. He came to tell the good news that the knock down drag out bottom line reality is God's out of control affectionate love for you and to invite men and women to a joyous response to that love.
The cynics simply shook their head and said "he needs to address the issues."
Since that day, we have developed vast theological systems, organized worldwide churches, filled libraries with brilliant books, engaged in controversies embarked on crusades, reforms, and renewals. Yet there are still precious few that have the simplicity to believe in that kiss. Few have the sufficient foolishness to make the mad exchange of everything for that love; only a small amount have the confidence to live with that grace. When we really understand this we will stagger around giddy like someone who found buried treasure.
It was cynicism, pessimism, and despair that shadowed the ministry of Jesus, and isn't it true that it shadows the message today? The reality is that after falling flat on your face, or simply making the dumbest of decisions, do you know that you will still have God climb on your lap and awkwardly kiss you with overwhelming affection? Are you shocked and horrified when you fail? Or have you failed so often that you have simply given in, given up, attributed yourself to not even trying any more? The fact is that you don't have to change, you don't have to grow, or be good to be loved. That is the nature of this extreme affection.
It's completely lopsided and doesn't make sense. When you understand it… you can't understand it. Your immediate reaction is to suspect that God is looking for some equality here. Because HE gets the short end of the stick. He has given you a million dollar loan and then on the first month of the first payment you receive a check in the mail for the same amount of the monthly charge you paid for the loan. Awkwardly, you deposit your check and it's good. And it is as if you never sent in your payment. As the months come, every month the check arrives until the debt is paid. Wha… That doesn't make sense… I am baffled… I feel like I'm using you… I don't think this is fair God.
We all have had our protests… because it can't be real, we all have our doubts; we all have been ground up by the machine of life. It has made us question whether good will triumph over evil. It makes trade in our orientation of peace and joy for fear and depression. It makes us take on others perceptions of us, and define ourselves as a failure. It makes us underline the foolishness of God's love as something that maybe we can believe intellectually, can write it down on paper, go to church and hear about, but never have it invade our lives.
But when we grasp this simple idea, that's what God does. His love invades our life. Grace, and the passionate affection of God will not back down. No evil can stand up to grace forever, because that unbearable love will soften the very foundation that holds up our failure, our depression, and our cynical world. That's what being seized by the power of a great affection does. It saves us from our religion of disappointment. It allows us to view a difficult world and its pain, and cast aside a cynical view and come at it with a kiss. We see that we can come at our issues with that same love and grace that we have received. With that maturity and knowledge that God loves me even when I am the failure; or when you are the cynic; perhaps I can give you the same grace he's given me. In fact I will return the kiss even though I am self conscious and uncomfortable, because I understand that you need that same great affection as well.

Moving the Ashes

I spent most of my week sick, and working. Not a lot else. Oh, I also spent some of my week feeling guilty. Guilty, because I had to come face to face with my own mountain of inadequacy. This week I met my “enemy” and we grappled in a battle royale for my soul.
My enemy came by this week…we had dinner. There were no poor words exchanged, no violence to be witnessed. In fact, the entire situation for you, that lead heroic or adventurous lives, was not at all like that. It was simply a reminder of a very painful relationship -- one that I had tried to stuff down in the corner of my smile. And in one look, a glance, and a one sided conversation, I found myself face to face with my enemy -- Mono e mono.
This enemy wasn’t the epitome of evil. I wish he was… it would make it easier to condemn him. Throw him in jail… condemn him to hell… or just be plain rude to him. Some days I think it would be better to live in Colorado Springs because stuff is much more black and white there. But my enemy won’t go to jail for manslaughter. Or be the title on a horror film one day. He probably won’t even get past his own mediocrity. This guy simply annoys the piss out of me. Let me tell you why, a little bit. First of all, every conversation I’ve had with this person is one sided… It’s all about him, what’s going on, and what his deal is (or, what his deal with me, is). Also, there is something about this guy that just pushes every button on my console. Something about his demeanor, about the way he talks just flips me out. Just because of our history… if his name comes up it makes me turn my fist up and recite like Jerry did in the 90’s… “Newman!” My enemy.
I call myself a Christian. If someone were to say “you call yourself a Christian?” I’d say yes. I feel strongly toward God giving me grace. I feel strongly about myself giving grace. There are all sorts of scriptures that back me up on that. However, I don’t like to be the bad guy when it comes to my own faith. When the question is asked “do you call yourself a Christian?” I don’t like to be the person that sheepishly answers “yes,” because I know very well what I did wrong. Or what I want to sidestep. Or who knows!?!
So I have come to understand that I have a very sacred relationship with my enemy. Because, every time my enemy comes by and elbows me in the ribs, I am face to face with my own searing painful outlook on this person. I can’t imagine that this person doesn’t know that his very existence is a thorn in my side! However, the thought of him being oblivious to that only feeds my fire to burning man proportions. And I know Jesus’ voice is trying to help by saying, “Forgive him,” “Let it go,” “Turn the other cheek.” But for some reason, all it does is indicate how far I fall short. My relationship to my enemy is sacred because his existence makes me very aware of how much of a prick I am.
Christ talks about our need to forgive others. And when I’m in this state, it seems to always be coupled with a looming spiritual fist. Mt 6:14 15 - For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Mt 18:35 - This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart. Mr 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.Lu 6:37 - Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Lu 11:4 - Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.To me, there’s a theme bubbling up here. It seems forgiveness is important to God… our forgiveness is contingent on our own forgiveness of others. I love that God is into keeping us accountable to loving our neighbor, except why does our neighbor have to be such a jerk?
Our neighbors, our enemies are all around us, telling us where we are on the forgiveness meter. Those who are forgiven are a non issue… those that aren’t, aren’t. I read a short thought from Anne Lamott this week in regard to her own enemy… her dead mother. She Writes:I put the brown plastic box of my mother’s ashes in the closet as soon as it came back from the funeral home, two years ago, thinking I could at last give up all hope that a wafting white robed figure would rise from the ashes of my despair and say, “Oh little one, my darling daughter, I am here for you now.” I prayed for my heart to soften, to forgive her and love her for what she did give me – life, great values, a lot of tennis lessons, and the best she could do. Unfortunately, the best she could do was terrible, like the Minister of Silly Walks trying to raise an extremely sensitive young girl, and my heart remained hardened toward her.
So I left her in the closet for two years to stew in her own ashes, and refused to be nice to her, and didn’t forgive her for being terrified, furious, clinging, sucking maw of need and arrogance. I suppose that sounds harsh. I assumed Jesus wanted me to forgive her, but I also know he loves honesty and transparency. I don’t think he was rolling his eyes impatiently at me while she was in the closet. I don’t think much surprises him: this is how we make important changes – barely, poorly, slowly.
I’ve spent my whole life trying to get over having had Nikki for a mother, and I have to say that from day one after she died, I liked having a dead mother much more than having an impossible one. I really loved her, and was proud of some heroic things she had done with her life. But she was like someone who had broken my leg, and my leg had healed badly, and would limp forever.
I couldn’t pretend she hadn’t done extensive damage – that’s called denial. But I wanted to dance anyway, even with a limp. I know forgiveness is a component of freedom, yet I couldn’t even after she died grant her amnesty. Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back. You’re done. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to have lunch with the person. If you keep hitting back, you stay trapped in the nightmare.
Today I got the brown plastic box of ashes out of the closet. I sat with it on my lap. The pouch on my belly is nice for holding children, so I let my mother sit there for a few minutes. I don’t actually forgive her much yet but I definitely was not hating her anymore. Grace means you’re in a different universe from where you had been stuck, when you had absolutely no way to get there on your own.
When it happens – when you stop hating- you have to pinch yourself. Jesus said, “The point is to not hate and kill each other today, and if you can, to help the forgotten and powerless. Can you write that down and leave it by the phone?” so I picked up my mother’s ashes, and put them on a shelf in the living room, and stood beside them for a while.
I thought I had forgiven this enemy of mine. But the problem is, he just keeps coming back into my life. I wish I could leave him in a closet for 2 years, wait for me to not hate him anymore. But the reality of life is, our enemies come in, break our legs, and leave us limping. Then they mosey down the street in front of us with smooth steps. As I was reading this, I began to understand that forgiveness is the goal. Jesus wants us to reach the goal. But we can’t put ourselves in hell if we are not there yet. I think what was so strong to me is understanding that if I need time to deal with my limp, if I need to not be around my enemy so that I can hate him less… that’s OK, that’s not un-forgiveness it’s moving toward forgiveness. It’s called “Giving grace.”
All of us today have an enemy, a “Newman”, a “Nikki”. We have a box that has been placed in the closet to heal, we have a desire to move it to the living room shelf and be able to stand near it. To hate it less. To follow Jesus’ words. And, ultimately forgive. In the meantime, we may need grace for our grace. Time for our ashes to stew for a while. But Jesus loves us and is holding our hand as we experience our humanity. Our need for grace, and our need to give it. Today… let’s try to do both.

Old Headlines... Breaking News

I'm not a big magazine person.

The only time I pick up a magazine is really at the hair place to find what sort of new back-lit 80's cut I want. I never read Newsweek. Never have. It stays on the magazine shelf next to Time, Life, People just to the right of Cosmo and to the left of Men's Health. Yet the magazine, Newsweek, knows what sells during this time of year. Controversy! And not just any controversy, controversy of faith. As I peruse the magazine aisle I see how I can get abs in six weeks. I see 10 things that men crave in bed. I see the man of the year, and Britney's bald head… And then I see a headline that is nearly 2000 years old. “Did Christ Rise From the Dead?” This year it had to do with bones, last year it had to do with the “Davinci Code”, the years previous they questioned whether the Bible is really accurate…I caught a glimpse of next year's cover and they're working on a theory that the spikes were really rubber, right now they are setting up a documenting process starring David Blane in a re-enactment of “The Passion”. But the question that gets asked, the question that sells Newsweek, is the very question certain people didn't want you to ask nearly 2000 years ago. 'Was Jesus Resurrected?'

In Matthew it says 'The next day, the one after Preparation Day, the chief priests and the Pharisees went to Pilate "Sir," they said, "we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, 'After three days I will rise again. 'So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first."' So they stationed a guard to keep watch. They didn't think that it would happen, a man rising from the dead. They just thought that those crazy fishermen would be nuts enough to drag a dead body out of his grave and make some grand claim of resurrection.

When whatever it was that happened that night, happened, the guard came racing back from the tomb to say that it was empty. According to Matthew, the Chief Priests and the Pharisees bribed them to spread the rumor that the disciples had stolen the corpse under cover of darkness. Pocketing the cash, the soldiers did as they were told, and "this story," Matthew concludes, made 'Newsweek'. And it's been making Newsweek for nearly 2000 years.

What happened to the body? Turns out the gospels don't have much to say about how the body of Jesus disappeared from the tomb. All that is said is, by the time the women got there, the stone had been rolled back and it was empty. What followed was chaos – dim figures flickering through the dawn, voices calling out, the sound of running feet. When the women got back to Jerusalem and gasped it all out to the disciples, Luke says that the disciples considered their words "an idle tale and they did not believe them." The cover of Newsweek seems to be much more plausible than a dead man rising.

Who knows what the truth of it was? Maybe like a mystery novel "Night of the Jesus Snatchers", somebody really did steal the body at night while the guards were asleep, and Matthew is only attempting to explain it away. Or maybe the tomb was empty because Jesus had never been there in the first place but was just thrown into a common ditch with the two thieves who were crucified with him. Or maybe it is the New Testament account with its picture of confusion and disbelief that rings most authentically – The thing is, no one may ever know because nobody was there to see it.

The Magazine Article is written. It is a story of a guard standing outside of an empty tomb. Nothing is in there. Nothing but cloth. This guard has been bribed to lie to you…or maybe not. Answering your question… “Was Jesus Resurrected? Is He alive?” You ask, “WHERE IS THE BODY?”… and he tells you the disciples came while he was asleep and moved a huge rock and stole Jesus from his resting place. What do you think? It's pretty plausible.

The magazine aisle, however, rarely will include the earliest reference to the resurrection. That of Paul. Funny thing is, he makes no mention of an empty tomb at all. The fact of the matter is, in a way, it hardly matters how the body of Jesus came to be missing because in the last analysis what convinced the people that He had risen from the dead was not the absence of His corpse, but His living presence. And so it has been ever since.

Something happened. Something happened between Friday and today to create that chaos. Something happened that changed a denial ridden hothead fisherman named Peter. During the trial Peter had denied that he had ever known Jesus - Three times! Peter and the other disciples had anxiously met "together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews". Within days he was preaching with such extraordinary power that "three thousand people were added to their number that day" and baptized. Peter talked about the resurrection of the Christ, that he was not abandoned to the grave, nor did his body see decay. God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of the fact. Soon he was calling all hearers to repentance, healing the lame, challenging the Sanhedrin, and suffering persecution on behalf of this testimony. What happened? It is not just that something had happened, but that everything had changed. It is unconvincing to hypothesize that a non-event, a cipher, a story, or magazine article elicited this change. Peter met with the living presence of Jesus Christ.

Same story with Jesus' brother James…"Didn't believe in him" in John 7. But after he met with the living presence of the Christ, James became a major figure among those attesting to the resurrection. Mr. Doubting Thomas… The story of our lives… our twin. The man who said as many of us do, "Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe.” Something changed in this man that led him to India to tell them about a living Christ who is risen!

The primary evidence for the resurrection today remains: changed lives, walking testimonies, people willing to proclaim the good news the world over.

I would love to convince you of "the facts." The Evidence! What really happened. I would love to play you a clip that made it solid in your mind. Or even write you a magazine article. But it actually doesn't matter. Because you can learn all you want about that fateful Easter Morning. But until you meet with the living Presence of Jesus, you won't know Easter. All you have is book knowledge; possibly a strong form of the latest headline news.

The fact is, you knowing the facts do as much good to your heart as a guard standing outside an empty tomb. It's empty…what do you need to guard? What are you guarding from? The fact is it is only from the inside out that change can happen; lasting change at least. It is only through meeting a living Jesus that the location of the dead body doesn't matter. It is only when you have experienced the Living Jesus, Easter actually takes off. It is only through meeting a living Jesus that your religion is no longer contingent on the latest findings in the news, but your heart begins making the news.