Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The Whirlwind is in the Thorntree

I was looking through a photo album yesterday and I ran across an awesome picture of me in this orange Elizabethan outfit. I had the ruffles, the knickers AND the tights. It's important to know that this was my Senior Prom picture. My date wore a matching Orange Dress with boostiea and I think tights as well. I was part of the drama crowd, which explains most of that. It's also important to point out that within a sea of penguin suits, I was the one crowned prom king. There's also a reason for this: I campaigned. Though I didn't mind doing the KING AND QUEEN Dance with the well developed Josie Bacuzi, I couldn't help but to be sad for my date. We campaigned together. We both stood in Cleveland's hall and then later in the foyer of Mongomery park with our signs ---protesting the other potential royalty. I was sad that Timory was on the sidelines watching as the bubbles descended around Josie and I. I was sad the Seniors must not have really understood that we were together in our campaign--- A vote for one is a vote for the other. I was mainly sad because… we matched… that would have been a great picture!


Timory and I were not an "item," we were more close to brother and sister, or partners in crime. Meeting each other in daybright pre-school at 3. My mom recalls: "we were going to get some free babysitting and the local library at Story Time, and from across the carpet you saw Timory. Quickly you tugged at my pants in sheer glee, and in your mouse-child voice, began screaming 'Mommie mommie Timory's here!' You and she then practiced your tumbling on the Library floor as the poor woman reading the very hungry caterpillar, simply let her eyes glaze over with a dream of a better job."


Having one hyperactive child is one thing, but 2 in the same class was a creative cyclone of …fun… for us. Quickly the school staff realized that Geoff and Timory needed to be separated. Both for everyone's sake, and probably for the sake of our grades.


We didn't mind though, we had recess and afterschool. I was the only boy at her birthday and she the only girl at mine. As we grew, our sense of humor did as well. We would find ourselves on the stoop of her house with a microphone and an amp badgering runners, cars and other people in the neighborhood with our own talk show called "bother the neighbors." We would come up with fun games when we learned how to drive. Like driving slowly next to someone and yelling "why the proud strut?" or holding up signs on a road trip to the car next to us saying "nice toupee." My mom would say that we were going to get shot.


Graduation held a special place in our heart as we had orchestrated a mass cacophony of super balls to come crashing onto the stage as seniors were shaking the principal's hand. It didn't happen exactly the way we had planned, as we simply wanted our principal to have pockets full of super balls. But when someone panicked and yelled "throw them now!" There was something beautiful about the wave of rubber balls that found their way into the various instruments playing pomp and circumstance.


After graduation we did the college thing, and though we hung out, it was apparent that we were changing, possibly products of our environment, perhaps just growing up. But then something very strange happened: I became a Christian. Two years into our college experience and I went headlong into Christianity. After a brief stint with Buddhism, this was a new world for me: I was taking a bible college course in Old Testament. I was going to church 3 times a week (twice on Sundays) and that movement began changing me. Some people saw it for the better, others for the worse. There can be a lot loaded in the statement "Geoff got born again."


In that time I had one conversation with Timory about my faith. It quickly turned sour as the topic moved from my actual faith, to Decisions on Roe V Wade, ugly judgmentalism, and maybe a sprinkling of the crusades. With that, as a new Christian, I chose to not bring it up again, as I wasn't equipped at that moment, to defend the church's negative PR over the centuries. Plus I never got into politics.


At the end my first transferred year at Pepperdine, I got a terrible phone call. My mom was on the other end of the phone crying, and she reported to me that Timory had fallen through a window on her college campus, and she died. It was her birthday, and she was at a party (for her) and leaned against one of the older windows, it gave way and she fell 3 stories onto the pavement.


I didn't have time to breathe, my best friend, though we hadn't seen each other in a while, was gone. Then my mom hits me with the next news. "They want you to speak at the funeral."This sent my faith spinning. A great friend, my best friend… and then a new issue… My new faith, my controversial faith. It was this moment for me that created a crucible of thoughts that was beyond pain.


Let me tell you where I was, this is where I was; you guys can have your own theological spin on how things work, I have mine. And mine at the time told me Timory did not accept Jesus. Which according to the content I was reading and learning at the time had very terrible consequences. I will spare you the details, but I was tortured with my condemning thoughts towards her. I would be appalled as my mind would picture one of the most painful thoughts that I could surmise. Timory in Hell. Keep in mind It wasn't something that I wanted to think about or consider… It's just what the teachings were inferring. And I couldn't get it out of my head. My best friend not just Gone… but being tortured.


It wasn't too long with these thoughts until my friend Jen saw me completely melting down. She listened to my visions, and saw how difficult they were to me. She understood what I was saying and where I was coming from. Then, as if hope were a product, she gave me something to let me breathe. She wiped my tears, and said: "Geoff… you are not the Judge of Timory. Geoff … You don't have the right to put her there. Geoff… You do not know how far the grace of God extends. Only God can make those decisions. Not you." Jen wiped my tears away and gave me some perspective in the whirlwind of my pain


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Hey how about a light topic to read about? I have an idea: let's go through one of the most uncomfortable faith challenges in my life. We've been talking about things that are amazing: Prodigal son, Prodigal father, Grace… Well obviously the next thing we should talk about is Judgment. Let's talk about 21 year old best friends falling to their death. Oh and lets tack on thoughts about Hell and Judgment. Let's not mince words here. How about I also just put the cherry on top of this sermon and I donno… How about I open up the book of Revelation… The Apocalypse of Jesus Christ. Hey how religiously uncomfortable can I make you all? Hey how religiously out of my league can I put myself?


Somehow I gravitate towards miracles every Sunday that I speak. Perhaps it's me testing the resolve of God's faithfulness to his people. Over and over rescuing me from my own terrible mind; bringing up thoughts that create a huge elephant in the room. It might be God simply leading me towards challenge and oblivion in the same breath. Regardless, I've learned to trust God. To simply obey, because the outcome of going through the whirlwind is far better then avoiding it. So today's challenge for me is to open a book in the bible that causes me anxiety.


That book is the book of revelation; high anxiety book for me number one, because after working on the street with homeless people I noticed a scientific correlation between the number of Revelation Passages someone knows or can quote, and the amount that someone needs to be taken to the crazy house. Secondly After seeing the various apocalypse movies out there, I'm not all that excited about fire and blood and dragons and all that. Third, and this is after reading it a couple times, I get a pretty good sense that it is about the end of the world and judgment day… again not my favorite thoughts.


I get the Jesus thing. I enjoy the Jesus thing. I love the forgiveness Jesus. The clever quipping Jesus. The Jesus that is in my heart. But when Jesus is soaked in blood and has a sword in his mouth… that's a weird Jesus.


Revelation is full of weird. And if you read it you won't be far along and you'll probably ask… what do I do with this? The thing is, the Book of Revelation, was not written to be riddle to amuse ourselves with. It was actually given to believers under a lot of pressure from the state, religious institutions, the economy, and even their fellow church members. Let me paint the picture:


Jesus' resurrection was about sixty five years ago. Most of the people who knew Him personally are dead, and a second generation of Christians have grown up. The gospel asserts that Jesus is King of the world and is coming back soon to claim His domain. But as the years pass, he still has not come. Now a madman has become emperor of Rome who actually believes the poet's praises' that he is a god incarnate. He likes to be addressed as "Our Lord and God." He has decreed that anyone who holds public office, anyone who testifies In court – practically everyone – must offer a pinch of incense to the emperors guardian spirit and declare "Caesar is Lord" if a person refuses to worship the emperor. He may lose his job, his home, even his life. To answer this question for the embattled Christians in the first century and every century since, God gave a series of visions to someone named John. It is called the "revelation of Jesus Christ; which God gave him to show his servants what must soon take place.


I can't go through the whole book with you right now (I know you want that). You should do it though. In the third verse of the first chapter it states an explicit blessing for just reading it. That's a reason all itself for you to do it. Many people have their take on what is what in the book.There are many themes that most people agree on. God's character, nature, and attributes. Christ's Work and results. What is the universe's true meaning and purpose? Who has the Power? Who seems to? Evil's Source, and its nature. The kingdom of God. And the biggie: Our response to the book.


This particular theme is really meaning: in response to the other themes… But I'd have to say that in my first reading of this book (in a while) I had some responses that were not so happy. First of all, as I was reading I was asking… Where'd my John go. My word became flesh john. My God is love John. Um when I opened Revelation I may have gotten a blessing, but I think it was a mixed blessing. Here John is void of any amazing love. Just, BOOM--judgment! Hailstorms. Crazy scary stuff. I looked around after I finished and wondered what John was doing. Trying to make sense of it all, my research showed that John was adopting a certain style of writing for the time. Apocalyptic writing was big back then. And the point of it was to show that God wins. Very often when we read these passages we read them in a context of fear, and danger. But what this told me was John is using a poetic form to tell you a hopeful message. As I began to understand this, the nightmare future was somewhat relaxed. But I still couldn't grasp the hope of it all. All I could get for myself was God's judgment. I saw the earth being judged. It brought me back to my friend Timory, and I couldn't be excited at the tearless end. I just felt confused.


This apocalyptic future oriented book wiped away the salve of responsibility that Jen had put on my eyes so many years ago. And it was apparent that I needed to grapple with something. I needed to grapple with the concept of what being SAVED really means. WHY IS JUDGEMENT AN OPTION? These concepts fly around in my head and I realize that I have to come to terms with the fact that I have issues with Judgment. This concept causes me get caught up in a whirlwind where I just can't stomach the implications…I want to throw my faith off, and figure out something that is nicer.


As I looked into these concepts I found that to Save means get out of trouble. There is a lot of trouble out there: sickness, political intrigue, oppression, poverty, imprisonment and all kinds of danger and evil. God saves means God intervenes to rescue. As I looked into it, I found God compassionately and miraculously steps in and intervenes,. He steps in and protects his people from their enemies and themselves. One form of that protection is of all things… Judgment!


Looking deeper I found Judgment to be a form of salvation. I had assumed that when I read revelation or heard about the judgment of God it was something bad or awful; but in the biblical context it means "The coming of Truth and Justice into our deceived and oppressed world." It's rare that you come across someone that is waving the evil flag. Yelling "dude I love deception and oppression!" So realistically it begins to help me when I see that judgment is Truth overturning deception. Essentially if some bad or dishonest people are out to deceive and oppress others, God brings Justice by bringing judgment. There begins to be natural consequences to their bad actions, and as a result the evildoers are incapacitated and cannot fulfill the additional evil that they've intended. If others are misjudging you, then God comes as your vindicator, your justifier. God tells the truth, which exposes the lies of your mis-judgers. That was what apocalyptic writing was about … Over and over the biblical writers anticipated the day that God will come to judge evil, to expose it and permanently incapacitate it while vindicating good. This to them was SALVATION. They were SAVED when evil was GONE.


Sometimes it can be more complicated though… What if we are the ones that have done evil? What if we see the just consequences of doing evil coming upon us? In this way God saves by Judging, and then forgiving. So many times the danger that we got into is self created, self sabotaging, and most of us keep doing it because we are self deluded, and function in self denial. God names what the evil is. He penetrates our self denial and self delusion and begins the act of saving by telling the truth. But then God goes further. As the consequences of our bad behavior looms over us, we realize that we've done something stupidly wrong. And we do something about it, as we become truly sorry, as we have a change of heart, God goes further by forgiving us; thus bringing salvation. Salvation is something that happens when we experience both judgment and forgiveness. Without both, we don't end up with true salvation.


Forgiveness without conviction is not forgiveness; it's irresponsible toleration. It doesn't lead to reconciliation or peace--- it leads to chaos. Conversely Judgment without mercy is not salvation but condemnation. It doesn't lead to reconciliation or peace--- it leads to alienation. The good news of salvation is that God Sent Jesus not to condemn, but to save. To save by bringing Justice with Mercy, True Judgment AND True Forgiveness. First by exposing our wrong ( or judging), so that we can face our wrong and turn from it, and then by forgiving our wrong, God intervenes and breaks the chain of cause and effect of offense and alienation so we are truly saved/liberated/rescued from the vicious cycle we've created.


After learning this, the whirlwind begins to die down in me and I can begin to start to see what John is trying to tell. Of an actual beautiful scene where the world of evil is toppled and the joy of peace is true.



At age 70, Johnny Cash in 2002 released the song, "The Man Comes Around," In the liner notes; the artist writes "The initial idea for the song came from a dream. I was in Nottingham, England and had bought a book called "Dreaming of the Queen." The book talked about the great number of people in that country who dream that they are with Queen Elizabeth II. I dreamed that I walked into Buckingham Palace, and there she sat, knitting or sewing…Another woman sat beside her. As I approached, the queen looked up at me and said, "Johnny Cash! You're like a thorn tree in a whirlwind." Then of course, I awoke. I realized that "Thorn tree in a whirlwind" sounded familiar to me. Eventually I decided that it was biblical, and I found it in the book of Job. From there it grew into a song, and I started lifting things from the book of Revelation. It became "The Man Comes Around."


The song begins with Cash speaking Revelation's bit about the white horse, an acoustic guitar chunks its way in, then Cash, his baritone with an eerie edge, sings his vision of the apocalypse, offering a choice between the communion cup of salvation or a nameless grave in the potter's field. By the time the song ends, and whether you believe it or not, you're stone sure that Cash believes his version of events to come. The song is both thrilling and sobering, and it — along with the rest of Cash's work in the illness-plagued last decade of his life — is a testament to the creative will of a tenacious artist.


Johnny Cash, you are like thorn tree in a whirlwind." It doesn't take long, looking over the events and challenges of his life, to see that Queen Elizabeth II was right. There seems to be a prickliness to the man, a painful smacking of branches together, a restless wandering leaving him tattered and warn. The lines on his face and his wispy white hair talk of a soul who has lived hard and has felt the pang of many mistakes. Describing his wife, June Carter Cash, he said, "it took her a long time, but she tamed me. Sometimes though when the wind is blowing late at night I wish I was still wild." Most recently he said this of her.


"I am persuaded that nothing can separate me from my love of my God, my wife, and my music. Life is rich when I can come home, after hours in the studio, feeling as frayed as a hundred Big G strings, and curl up to June Carter. She's a soft, fluffy Mama Bear. That's when I give God a "Thanks a lot, Chief." Sometimes in the morning I'll say "Good Morning" to the Awesome Presence, but sometimes I forget to.


"Home from the studio . . . it seals the day's work when I relate to June what I did that day. But the music never stops. It's an unending loop through my brain. Over and over and over again. Finally my head settled on this one particular song, and won't let go."


The whirlwind in Job and the apocalyptic writing of John's Revelation can do that to you. They can get in your brain and keep running around in there. There is something about the sound of that whirlwind… God's voice in Job. It's like God is angry and mocking, tired and yet determined. It's as if God has been listening for far too long, and finally has grown weary of our dribble. It is in this moment, like Cash described, in the moment when we start to see the rather vain quality of our speculations, of our grand schemes, our misplaced confidence, in the midst of this, a voice comes through and drives us down to earth. These strange and rather outlandish voices in scripture can each become a whirlwind that make us want to look away. Sometimes the voices are impersonal and glitzy like Revelation, sometimes they are painful and personal like the death of a friend, Or sometimes they are even certain concepts that conflict with everything inside you--Like judgment. It seems God uses the whirlwind of these voices to shake things up.


Shaking your trees allows you to see where your roots are planted and eventually brings you great clarity. There are moments in life that turn our knobs and bring us into sharp painful resolution, moments that reveal how we take for granted the fragility of life. In a heartbeat a young girl can fall from a building ending her life. And in the midst this swirl of change, you can only ask for salvation. Save us from Evil! To accept the whirlwind, and somehow look above for hope. To peer through the jungle of disaster to see through the trees a glint of light; that spark of hope that we must hold onto. Perhaps to hope for someday when all your tears will be wiped away. Not a quick fix, but like the day John of Patmos described, a day beyond tears, a land over yonder where death has been swallowed up and cast away. When all evil is exposed for what it is, and forgiveness and the love of God is our daylight. These are the images of a God that understands where the whirlwind takes us. Enduring a cross that understands how painful exposed roots can be. As a result he comes close and says, I am with you. Believe in me and trust in my love for you.


It makes sense that the church was born with a rushing wind, a whirlwind. Church is a cyclone of chaos that picks up and spins your own opinions, socializations, and causes you to collide with each other. In our messy lives we lose the clarity. Like Job got lost in his feelings of woe, or like John getting lost in his visions, we can lose sight of what is good here and now. We lose the clarity Johnny Cash spoke of when he wrote, "Life is rich when I can come home . . . and curl up to June Carter."


Sometimes the whirlwind is the rush of living life, and it becomes rich. Sometimes life is good and tasty, like a song with an amazing hook that just makes you want to dance. Sometimes, though, the whirlwind is in the thorn tree and it hurts.


I did speak at Timory's funeral a week later. I stood up there in front of an auditorium of people who were in midst of a whirlwind of pain. Their daughter, friend, and neighbor was gone, and THIS was a great injustice. My personal decision of her soul was placed where I needed it to be: With the one who loves, tells the truth, and forgives. The one who knows when to expose evil, and when people need to be comforted. As I spoke, I spoke of a girl who I loved very deeply. I told stories of the antics we performed, and I ended up throwing a basket of super balls on the audience. It made people remember that life IS rich, and that we need to look for it.

Today, it is my desire that God would give you the hope of his grace, that you would squint your eyes and peer through the whirlwind and capture that sparkle of a vision of that day where your tears are wiped away, and there is no more pain.

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