C: I’m a gift giver. My love language is “gifts”. I love giving gifts and I love getting them…when they are thoughtful. If you aren’t going to be thoughtful, just give me the five dollars or whatever and let me go shopping. Seriously. It REALLY IS the thought that counts with me. There have been times over the course of my life where I have been randomly prompted to give a gift to someone…this happened recently and I asked the person in this story for their permission to tell it.
About a month ago, I visited an art blog that I frequent and saw a photograph of a locket from an etsy site. I immediately clicked on the photo, was taken to the etsy page and quickly purchased the locket for my friend, Angie. Inside the locket it says, “I am enough”. It was one of those moments where I didn’t even have to think about it. It was automatic, “Angie needs this necklace.” I didn’t discuss purchasing it with Geoff, I just purchased it. A week went by and no necklace…then two weeks….I began to wonder if the meaning of the message would no longer be of importance to my friend. “Was I really prompted to make that purchase?” “Has too much time lapsed and now it won’t be received with meaning?” These are all things my crazy gift giving mind goes through when purchasing a gift, any gift, for someone. I want it to be the right one, at just the right time, with just the right meaning for the person. Three weeks had passed and finally the necklace arrived. I decided I had indeed purchased the necklace for Angie and so it was definitely hers and I was just the messenger who got to take part in delivering her gift. I approached Angie at church and gave her the necklace. She immediately put it on and said, “You have no idea how much I needed this, this week.” I recently (for the purpose of this message) asked Angie why the necklace meant so much to her. She responded via text, “When u have something that causes u to doubt yourself or always feel u should be further along than u are. Then out of the blue someone who loves u listens to God and God tells u through them YOU ARE ENOUGH! U start to believe it’s true. This happened to me when Crystal gave me a locket that said You Are Enough….I start to believe it and when I doubt I open the locket.”
Two weeks later, for my birthday, my parents purchased a locket for me (via my sister, Sherri) from the exact same etsy site. Mine says, “Hope lives here”. I so needed to be reminded of that in that instant. I was brought to tears in front of my family because my closest people saw that Hope Lived HERE. I needed that. With all the failures I have had in my life that haunt me, I need to be reminded of the hope that lives in me….My parents and my sister did that for me.
G: We have been listening to the audio book, “I’m Proud of You: My Friendship with Mr. Rogers” by Tim Madigan. It’s a book that highlights the correspondences between Fred and Tim throughout their life. We have been literally sobbing through the entire thing.. Specifically whenever Mister Rogers pens a letter. In the book, Tim writes about his impending divorce and because of his deep friendship with Mr. Rogers, he is apprehensive to tell his friend the news, more so, than even telling his children. He writes:
And on that sunny December afternoon in 1997, I was sure I had finally found something I could say or do that would finally render Mister Rogers incapable of unconditional regard. He was a man who had devoted his life to children and their families, and I was a man about to destroy his own. ... I finally summoned my nerve, went inside to our computer, and typed out a letter to my friend, tears of remorse streaming down my cheeks. After years of counseling and struggle, my marriage was probably ending and I was the one ending it, I told Mister Rogers in my letter that day. Could he forgive such a person? Could he continue to love such a man?
His reply arrived within the week, dated December 20, 1997, two full pages on the stationery of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, written in Fred's pinched, meticulous, highly distinctive hand. I did not make it through the first paragraph before I again began to cry.
My dear Tim,
Bless your heart. I feel so for you—for you all—but, Tim, please know that I would never forsake you, that I will never be disappointed with you, that I would never stop loving you. How I wish we could be closer geographically! I'd get in my car, drive to your house, knock on your door, and, when you answered I'd hug you tight.
You are a beautiful man, inside and out, and those who care about you are privileged to share your pain...As for suffering: I believe that there are fewer people than ever who escape major suffering in this life. In fact I'm fairly convinced that the Kingdom of God is for the broken-hearted. You write of "powerlessness." Join the club; we are not in control: God is.
Our trust and affection run very deep. You know you are in my prayers-now and always. If you ever need me you have only to call and I would do my best to get to you, or you to me...
...You are my beloved brother, Tim. You are God's beloved son.
The weight of our own imperfections can be so devastating. Tim had quite an advantage to have a friend that would know everything about him. Yet still value him in midst of his imperfections. The truth of our inadequacy has quite a weight, but when someone sticks close despite our failure. Somehow that weight lifts. Or it is at least easier to manage.
Jesus talked to people who were tired of the weight they were carrying. He said in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
The yoke is a necklace an ox wears for plowing. And when a new ox is learning how to “wear this yoke” they pair him up with a more experienced ox. Jesus is saying that you can share this burden that you have with him, and he will show you how to manage it. There is a relationship here... a teaching here. And just like Fred Rogers to Tim Madigan, the promise of someone being there to lighten your load.
C: What we would like you to do, is take about 2-3 minutes to close your eyes and think about a time when someone, genuinely prompted by God gave you a truth that lightened what you had been carrying around your neck. Please post your stories below if you wish.
I have a failed marriage under my belt, failed friendships, failed integrity, failed attitude, failed sisterhood, failed work ethic….the list goes on…and on, quite frankly. Those of you that know me well, know my story of literally spending about three months on the couch, ring less, jobless, penniless, directionless and for the lack of a better word, broken hearted about all of it. During those three months I conversed (aka yelled like a baby) with God about my devastation. Thankfully, in the midst of that, I had beautiful friends who did not give up on me, but embraced me, in all my disgruntled stupidity and are STILL friends with me to this day, which is a true gift of which I am eternally grateful. After about three months God said, “I love you.” Which I thought was complete B.S. And He reminded me again, “I love you.” In that moment, I realized I AM LOVED. WE ARE LOVED. Once I began functioning out of love instead of shame, guilt and fear, it changed the myopic lens at which I saw not only myself, but others as well...and God. The love we receive (from God) usurps the broken heartedness we experience. It doesn’t magically take it away; it usurps it.
G: Over the pillared halls of many knowledge institutions the statement "the truth will set you free" is chiseled for all to reflect on. Its not the entire verse... the entire verse can be found in John 8:31-32 it says:
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
There is a little bit of contingency there. The truth is not absent of relationship. It is only in the context of learning with Him to be like Him that we can become persons increasingly capable of handling the truth. The truth has a vulnerability about it. It has a nakedness about it. And when we stand ALONE in that brokenness and vulnerability, many times we simply interpret it into something we need to hide. Or we go the opposite, and it becomes US. We ARE the perfect couple, or we ARE the major fuckup.
Jesus is saying, “Be with Me and Learn from Me, and I will show you not only how to become someone who can weather the broken heartedness that comes with knowing who you are. But better than that, I will show you who you really are.”
THAT is the truth that sets us free.
C: Once again, I’d like you to close your eyes for a moment. Only this time, I would like you to picture yourself with your head down. Picture what is weighing you down. A dear and trusted friend is approaching you. They embrace you and whisper a truth to you. What is it? What do you hear? What do you feel? What do you see? What do you smell? What do you know?
My dad recently gave me a buckeye that my grandfather, his father, carried around with him for luck. Apparently a buckeye is a symbol of luck – it kind of looks like a petrified turd, but it’s a buckeye. All you Southerners know what I’m talking about. The thing is, neither my dad nor I really believe in luck, but we do believe in the connectedness that symbols bring to us. When I carry this buckeye around in my pocket, I feel connected to my dad.
We have our own “buckeyes” here (small, round pieces of wood). What we would like you to do is write down what you envisioned your dear friend telling you that lightened what you had been carrying around your neck, on these discs. These are to help you feel connected and remind you that the truth of God’s love usurps the broken heartedness we experience. Small tokens to remember and feel connected.
