After listening to Jim Henderson speak last week at the Bridge, I was very encouraged. Somehow, he articulated very well something that I knew innately--the development of Beliefism vs. the actual organic following of Jesus. This was very good for me, as I have known that something was wrong with people who "believe" the "right doctrine", have "correct thoughts", and hold others at bay from God along with them. But I wasn't sure where the disconnect existed. Thankfully, Jim addressed these thoughts in a way that put words on something that I just called "pricks that don't get it".
Anyway, it was like a breath of fresh air. And I felt validated, at ease, on the right track. As I spoke to others, it seemed like that's how they felt as well. Some of us have been a part of the Religion vs Relationship talk. The one in which the preacher demeans all the Pharisees or whatever legalism at the time, and leads you into a sales closing, at a fixed rate of Jesus for the next 30 years. You need to have a relationship… not a religion. Which is true, nothing wrong with that switch. However, I was noticing as I was talking to people that "religion" is not something that appeals to many of my friends these days. I don't see people lining up at churches, except for when there is food. I don't see the latest stained glass or hot sermon message on the E! channel. So what Jim was saying at The Bridge, though well articulate and right on, was not challenging to anyone that doesn't have a taste for "RELIGION". It seems as though the religion vs. relationship message is played out to the point that people are not interested in the things of God because beliefism has created a culture of exclusion, and therefore alienated itself and its message of hope to a message of the elite.
That said, I was wondering if there was something that we could be challenged by in Jim's message??? I knew innately that we, as a culture, weren't interested in religion, and relationship/following Jesus was where it needed to go. There was no tension between relationship and religion, in fact, probably the opposite is true: There is a huge repelling and distancing from the "r" word.
I talked to my friend, Todd, about this, and I realized that there was something pulling me in. Because of my polarity shift away from religion, the iconic world of beliefism, stained glass, and Sunday school, I had gravitated to another "easing of my mind" away from the freedom of Christ (whatever that means). Todd said "the church world isn't my religion… my self-preservation is." Meaning: so many of us get trapped by the drama of "making it happen" we believe “I have nothing but me on my side.” If you believe in God, it's kind of like entertaining the thought of God as a wingman, hopefully taking one for the team, but understanding when he doesn't make out with the ugly chick, so we can go out with her hot friend. We find ourselves relying on ourselves, and God is only an extra benefit if he decides to show up today. These thoughts have no joy associated with it. In fact, it moves me into deeper and deeper cynicism. Which Todd tells me -- Cynicism is cleverly disguised disappointment. I can't say it is that dire for me. But I know for some people, that is all they have.
So I guess I should be honest, my cynicism is my religion. My disappointment is my religion. My failures are my religion. My escaping people's questions with humor are how I practice my religion. These are the things that cause me to run to church, and in the same stride know that at any moment lightning will strike me down for doing so. When someone simply prays besides me, I don't have the luxury to believe that he is doing any good for the people in Sierra Leone… or for me, for that matter. I can mouth the words “good news”, but I don't get it. I hear that God say that you have worth, but why do I feel so worthless? And, at the same time, why do I think that the idea of my faith tends to shove me toward feelings of worthlessness? When someone tells me God loves me, why is the cruel cross there all bloody and rugged not giving me any answers but "gore". Who can save me from my religion?
My religion of disappointment underlines the terrible government dilemmas that are out there tending to place people in housing that is inhumane, or cause them to die crossing a wall with serrated wire. My religion trumpets strongly about the people that are hungry and rages about how poverty, upbringing, and pain has eclipsed so many's understandings of what it means to have a choice in anything. I am constantly ground into the dirt about the fear of global warming, the machine of agribusiness, and the crimes on wallstreet. Drugs are seen as a course of dealing with this reality, as Christianity tends to give us chumps like Tilton and Hinn, or simply, lawsuits about sexual abuse. Where is the “good news” in my religion?
It's no wonder I'm done. Its no wonder that many of you are done. It's no wonder that when we walk into the walls of a church these days we see people that don't trust the person speaking up there. It’s because the message just seems out of touch. The landscape of the global village has introduced discouragement, disillusionment, and the belief that nothing is happening unless we are making it happen. And perhaps, even though our words say differently, our actions indicate that God is dead or in a coma somewhere. Being “born again” is dumb. Because the people that use the phraseology are culturally unaware.
Yet, here I am, in church, or at least talking about it, maybe hoping to somehow taste what Jesus really meant. I would love to be freed by my religion, but my religion has me trapped in this depressing place where I take one look at the bible, and I say "tell me more about how your bumper sticker is going to make me feel good about myself." I guess I would love to taste what Jesus really meant when he said you need to be born again… Did he mean "unless you are 'culturally unaware' you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven"? You must be out of touch and have your space invaded in order to find the Joy that comes from God?
I stumbled across a book called the Ragamuffin Gospel, on the sidewalk outside my apartment on Friday night. It's usually a place where homeless stand to get a donation because it's right off the freeway and there is a light that allows you to feel guilty for about a minute and a half. Obviously some good Christian wanted to unload some passive gospel to these homeless men placing a series of books about Christianity with a cardboard message on top saying "free books." I looked through them and passed on the James Dobson book, and found Brennan Manning's book. I had heard it was good, and so I left with it.
Inside was this story:
“In March 1986 I was priviledged to spend an afternoon with an Amish family in Lancaster, Pennsylvania… Jonas Zook is an eighty-two-year-old widower. He and his children raise piglets for their livelihood. The oldest, Barbara, fifty-seven, manages the household. The Three younger children, Rachel, fifty-three, Elam, forty-seven, and Sam, Forty-five, are all severely retarded. When I arrived at noon with two friends, little Elam – about four feet tall, heavy-set, thickly bearded, and wearing the black Amish outfit with the circular hat – was coming out of the barn some fifty yards away, pitchfork in hand. He had never laid eyes on me in his life; yet, when he saw me step out of the car, this little Mongoloid dropped the pitchfork and ran lickety-split in my direction. Two feet away, he flung himself at me, wrapped his arms around my neck, his legs around my waist, and kissed me on the lips with fierce intensity for a full thirty seconds.
Well, I was temporarily stunned and terribly self conscious. But in the twinkle of an eye, Jesus set me free from propriety. I buried my lips into Elam's and returned his kiss with the same enthusiasm. Then he jumped down, wrapped both his hands around my right arm, and led me on a tour of the farm
A half hour later, Elam sat next to me at lunch. Midway through the meal I turned around to say something. Inadvertently, my right elbow slammed into Elam's ribcage. He didn't wince, he didn't groan. He wept like a two year old child. His next move undid me.
Elam came over to my chair, planted himself on my lap, and kissed me even harder on the lips. Then he kissed my eyes, nose, forehead, and cheeks.
And there I was, dazed dumbstruck, weeping, and suddenly seized by the power of a great affection. In his utter simplicity little Elam Zook was an Icon of Jesus. Why? Because at that moment his love for me did not stem from any attractiveness or lovability on my part. Elam loved me whether I was kind or unkind, pleasant or nasty. His love arose from a source outside of himself and myself.”
I'm wondering if my cynical religion is missing the point. My gaze on what I know reality is could be strangling something basic and simple that I really need. It's as if something as awkward as an Amish dwarf needs to jump on me to make me see that perhaps I need to be freed from my "take on life." Perhaps this is what Jesus meant by being born again. YOU MUST BE seized by the power of a great affection so that the simplicity of the message can break apart your fears, awkwardness, or "take". To be seized by the power of a great affection does not seem to relate to my world at all. It does, in fact, require a fair amount of lunacy to listen to this simplistic love song of God. To have a forty year old "special" pig farmer with a big round hat planting a big one on you is a silly way to experience the kingdom of God. But I need something that is that jarring to make me stop being pissed at the "world" and start enjoying the fact that I was kissed.
I guess my first reaction to the myopic voice telling me "simply believe in this affection" is to go back to the facts. I rebuttal "are you saying that I just need to believe in love?" "am I supposed to turn off my radar of injustice that everyone (namely Christians) is committing everywhere?" I think of how corrupt clergy have exploited the message to get agendas fulfilled. I hear what this voice is saying as an outdated calming agent to put to rest my thinking mind. I think cynic cynic cynic. And I know there is something to what Jesus is saying… but how can anyone call the way we are living Good News? I want someone to kiss me and wake me up from this cynical world that I have worshipped at. I want to believe in love again, but how can I without setting free reality?
I guess I need to look at it simply. When we say “good news”, what are we really saying? As I see it the truth of the good news of Jesus does not rise and fall on the issues of corrupt clergy, the exploitation of the poor, or irrational fanaticism of modern dictatorships. I simply can't say I believe it or I don't unless I get at the heart of what the good news is, which I'm pretty sure it is an answer to the most fundamental questions a person may ask – is life absurd or does it have a purpose? Jesus replies to this question that not only does our life have purpose but God has directly intervened in human affairs to make abundantly clear what that purpose is. What is that? That what will blow apart cynicism by generous, forgiving , saving love.
Everything tends to have magnetism about it. How can I grasp this good news without being taken back down into the death of this sad world that I live in? How can I believe in the life, when I see death winning? In the end, will life triumph over death? Jesus answers: the kingdom of my Father cannot be overcome, even by death. In the end everything will be all right, nothing can harm you permanently, no disappointment is conclusive. Suffering, failure, loneliness, sorrow, discouragement, and death will be part of your journey, but the kingdom of God will conquer all these horrors. No evil can resist grace forever. No evil can resist grace forever… NO EVIL CAN RESIST GRACE FOREVER!
In the first century Jesus was telling people about the care of God for them. Saying that an old era was done and a new one was dawning. The only appropriate response is to be in awe, and well up with joy and wonder. But instead of saying, “I believe you Jesus” or “You are a nut!” they skirted it as well, by asking questions. "When are we going to be out of captivity from the Romans?" "I want to see you do an apocalyptic sign" "why aren't you obeying the law?" or "Whose side are you on in this legal matter?"
Jesus replied that the Romans were not the issue, nor the law, the signs, or where he stood on the issues. Instead the relentless love of God is the issue, far behind that fact everything else trailed. How can this be? When there are child soldiers in Sierra Leone? A war in Iraq? How can this be when so and so committed such an atrocity that he must be removed from the church? All are valid, but all are far behind the good news that God loves you (Loves him, Loves those in other countries). Jesus said that he did not come to discuss the laws, nor challenge the Roman Empire. He came to tell the good news that the knock down drag out bottom line reality is God's out of control affectionate love for you and to invite men and women to a joyous response to that love.
The cynics simply shook their head and said "he needs to address the issues."
Since that day, we have developed vast theological systems, organized worldwide churches, filled libraries with brilliant books, engaged in controversies embarked on crusades, reforms, and renewals. Yet there are still precious few that have the simplicity to believe in that kiss. Few have the sufficient foolishness to make the mad exchange of everything for that love; only a small amount have the confidence to live with that grace. When we really understand this we will stagger around giddy like someone who found buried treasure.
It was cynicism, pessimism, and despair that shadowed the ministry of Jesus, and isn't it true that it shadows the message today? The reality is that after falling flat on your face, or simply making the dumbest of decisions, do you know that you will still have God climb on your lap and awkwardly kiss you with overwhelming affection? Are you shocked and horrified when you fail? Or have you failed so often that you have simply given in, given up, attributed yourself to not even trying any more? The fact is that you don't have to change, you don't have to grow, or be good to be loved. That is the nature of this extreme affection.
It's completely lopsided and doesn't make sense. When you understand it… you can't understand it. Your immediate reaction is to suspect that God is looking for some equality here. Because HE gets the short end of the stick. He has given you a million dollar loan and then on the first month of the first payment you receive a check in the mail for the same amount of the monthly charge you paid for the loan. Awkwardly, you deposit your check and it's good. And it is as if you never sent in your payment. As the months come, every month the check arrives until the debt is paid. Wha… That doesn't make sense… I am baffled… I feel like I'm using you… I don't think this is fair God.
We all have had our protests… because it can't be real, we all have our doubts; we all have been ground up by the machine of life. It has made us question whether good will triumph over evil. It makes trade in our orientation of peace and joy for fear and depression. It makes us take on others perceptions of us, and define ourselves as a failure. It makes us underline the foolishness of God's love as something that maybe we can believe intellectually, can write it down on paper, go to church and hear about, but never have it invade our lives.
But when we grasp this simple idea, that's what God does. His love invades our life. Grace, and the passionate affection of God will not back down. No evil can stand up to grace forever, because that unbearable love will soften the very foundation that holds up our failure, our depression, and our cynical world. That's what being seized by the power of a great affection does. It saves us from our religion of disappointment. It allows us to view a difficult world and its pain, and cast aside a cynical view and come at it with a kiss. We see that we can come at our issues with that same love and grace that we have received. With that maturity and knowledge that God loves me even when I am the failure; or when you are the cynic; perhaps I can give you the same grace he's given me. In fact I will return the kiss even though I am self conscious and uncomfortable, because I understand that you need that same great affection as well.
