Lately I've been surprised by the books I've been reading. I hear about a book, and I go Wow, "A long way gone: a memoir of a child soldier" and then I dive in and am surprised when its a good 100 pages of Battle porn. Slicing off of heads, rape and incessant killing. Then I ask myself, what did you expect from A MEMOIR OF A CHILD SOLDIER.
A couple of months ago I read a book written by Julia Sweeney, you might remember her from her classic character that even made the silver screen, PAT, the endogenous HE/SHE that the joke was everyone having awkward moments trying to figure out his/her gender. She had a book that was recommended, I thought it would be cool because it had two things that interested me: Comedy and God. I'm a dork. It was called "Letting Go of God." Again for some reason the title didn't get through to me. I'm not sure if I didn't read the synopsis, or if I just didn't believe the title. But sure enough by the end of
the book I was surprised. There Julia was... a happy content atheist. She started out with these wonderful catholic stories, and for some reason, I thought her journey was going to take a cyclical approach like some sort of Shakespeare play. But nope. happily without God, there she stood at the end of the book, leaving me with this void of clever
closure, lesson learned, sometimes you can judge a book by its cover.
What it did for me was it made me look deep and ask "what keeps me a Christian?" (After some brief introspection I personally found out that nothing besides my relationship with God was keeping me in the CHRISTIANITY CAMP. In theory God has the ability to move me wherever he may want. Someone may have issue with me saying "it is the right expression for now"... but the question brought up that my relationship with God was far more important to me, then the form or expression that it took on. But really that's pretty theoretical anyway as I can't imagine God moving me other places. It really doesn't matter, I guess I was sharing where that introspection led me.) I thought it was an interesting and engaging question so I asked others. Some had interesting answers,
and some had interesting stories.
One story came from my mother in law Mrs Eddington. Who by the way is the kindest most faithful woman. She's the kind of woman you ask to pray for something and SHE DOES. One day Crystal and I were hanging out with her mom and dad and the subject of THE TERRIBLE YEAR came up. I was intrigued. 1986 was the year that it all went down. 5 close friends
died, one of them was shot in the head by her boyfriend. Cliff (my father in law) lost his Job so the family was destitute. And on top of it his best friend who was a pastor of their church, was kicked out in a very ugly way (political yick). I saw a fire in Mrs Eddington's eyes that I hadn't seen before, as she told more tales of how awful that year was. She said passionately to crystal and I that she expressed to cliff... "WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. YOU HAVE FAMILY IN TENNESSEE. LETS PACK UP AND MOVE." She said I wanted to run because it was so bad. We didn't want to answer the phones cause there would be a new friend who died.
I, knowing that they still hold onto their faith, and did at this time asked. What kept you sane... what kept you going... what kept you with God. She talked about how she prayed. I asked if she got any answers? and she said not right away. What else did you do?Well I prayed a lot.And?I looked in the bible for answers, I really searched to find something.did you find any?Well not right away.But did you?Yes.... (And here I was about to get my answer. The answer that can get someone through anything... I'm so excited!!!!) One day I was on my last legs and I was asking God give me something, and then I looked down in my bible, and there it was... (What is it... the answer) Be thankful in all things.
At this point the record scratched and Crystal said: "did that work? cause that would piss me off."
And it did work for her. It was what she needed to persevere. And I came away from that happy that I got her answer. It was beautiful simple and challenging.
Challenging because I can just imagine some preacher listening to the troubles of someone, and then callously spouting off at the end as if he didn't even hear about the deaths and pain and says with a southern accent; Dear, the bible says that regardleuhs what ya'll are goin thru... Be Thankful in ALL THINGS. All this is wibble wobble stinkin' thinkin', and when glory befalls you in the end you'll look on this and laugh. At which point I say. "what a dick."
Religion is one of the things that turned Julia's faith spigot off, the other one was reading the bible. She took a year bible study where she read the entire bible, and found that the God in the old testament a little rash. She grieved at the idea of God judging nations and was angered at how much of a dick the old testament God was.
So I was perusing the new testament this week and since it is fall season where scary things occur... I thought I'd share with you a scary story in the new testament. One that messes with my idea of Jesus. Because I can say "religious people are dicks" or "That Judging Old testament God is a dick" but when you venture into Jesus territory, your messing with things.... Cause its Jesus. You don't call Jesus a dick, unless you want to mess with things.
So here you go. A scary fall tale of Jesus... the dick. You can make the decision if I am being too harsh.
Matthew 15:21 Then Jesus left Galilee and went north to the region of Tyre and Sidon. (Here Jesus is on the border of Israel. so He's bordering on GENTILE territory. is it a surprise that ) 22 A Gentile[e] woman who lived there came to him, pleading, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! For my daughter is possessed by a demon that torments her
severely.”
(Apparently, there are levels of possession, and according to some the language in this passage lets you know its bad. Probably Beds moving heads turning, pea soup vomiting. This is bad. Your daughter is the devil. And not necessarily JUST a teenager. She HAS A PROBLEM. Now this isn't the run of the mill, give her two Valium or its a phase type of
crap. Its big, spiritual, messed up stuff. And hey... Jesus is in town, and hey he is the Son of God, Um... I think he can help. To this Syrophanecian Woman, Jesus was the answer for this torment in her life. there was no other answer, and she told him by her language. "Son of David" is the language of someone being called the Messiah. She new
that He was IT for the answer.)
23 But Jesus gave her no reply, not even a word. (Um... Hello? My daughter has a snake bite and you have the anti venom in your pocket I'm not just going away. Helloooo!... I need your help... I need you to take this demon out of my daughter.)
Then his disciples urged him to send her away. “Tell her to go away,” they said. “She is bothering us with all her begging.” 24 Then Jesus said to the woman, “I was sent only to help God’s lost sheep—the people of Israel.”(what? why are you on the border of Canaan if you are not going to reach out to the people on the border? What about that idea you preached days ago on the sabbath? the one where if there is an ox that falls in a hole or whatever, will you not try to rescue it?.... But then look at this woman's response:)
25 But she came and worshiped him, pleading again, “Lord, help me!”(this woman has balls. As a Canaanite, she is a nationality that has been a pain to the Jews for ages. the first ones to have "the promised land" and also put Israel in captivity several times... Racial tension is high, as we can see by Jesus' next rather painful comment. Yet She knows who he is and what he can do)
26 Jesus responded, “It isn’t right to take food from the children and throw it to the dogs.” (Um... I'm pretty sure that Jesus just called her a dog. utilizing a common slur Jesus uses a common Jewish reference for a Canaanite. Not pretty, and exactly what he is saying here. Um Racist much Jesus? Is this a bad time? Did we catch you on a bad day? There is something to say that you are "the Son of David", the Messiah, the one promised to the nation of Israel... But what happened to "A light to the Gentiles?" 27 She replied, “That’s true, Lord, but even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.” (polite and belittled the woman knows that leaving in a huff or fighting with his comments will get her no closer to her daughter's health. And so...)
28 “Dear woman,” Jesus said to her, “your faith is great. Your request is granted.” And her daughter was instantly healed.
For most of us this is the end. The Jesus we know. the one who heals people. The one who laughs at their lack of faith and picks them out of the water. But does the fact that we just witnessed racial slurs coming from our savior bother anyone? It was a story like this that rubbed Julia Sweeney the wrong way about the Jesus that she thought she heard about. And in my estimation its the sort of thing that others should take offense to it as well. I think it is most offensive because I have Jesus on a pedestal somewhere and I have my own life somewhere else. Jesus is in my ideal world, and my life is filled with things that offend me like this passage. It is silent when I need an answer. It has people that seem to be better, that deserve it more, and it is full of accusations of insensitivity.
So there you go... the Spooky Halloween story of your Jesus and mine being a racist dick. How do you say Jesus, why were you a racist dick to this woman that needed your help. It's a riddle that I came up with. How do you call Jesus a racist dick in the middle of a sermon, and survive? (I'm not sure I can)
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Proverbs30:28 has an equally strange riddle as well
The lizard taketh hold with her hands, Yet is she in kings' palaces.
John Bunyan the writer of a pilgrim's progress replaces this idea of a lizard with something possibly much more relevant to our eyes, not only with our thoughts towards the beast, but also because its that time of year when spooky creepy crawly things come out.
Christiana is in the interpreter's house, and the interpreter brings her into a grand room. Fit for a king. a palatial bedroom, and he asks her what she sees. And she walks around and says its an amazing room. He says look closer. Looking around again she says I see nothing out of the ordinary but an ugly spider on the wall. And sure enough that was the riddle. Full of venom, ugly and hairy, yet living in the most palatial of places alongside the king.
You may think that God sees us like spiders, and that we look like ugly creatures to Him and we have no place in such a fine room, But God uses this example of our venomous and ill-favored friend to show us how our faith holds us in His presence. This spider has taken hold with her hands, and, as I see, lives in the best room of the house. Do you see? That, however full of the venom of sin you might be, yet you may, by the hand of Faith, lay hold of and dwell in the best room that belongs to the King above?
Her faith held her up in the silence of her Lord. Her faith held her up when she felt ridiculed and annoying to others. Her faith held her up when she saw that her venom gave her no entitlement to the room. Her faith held fast to Jesus, to see him as he truly is, to love him, and trust him, as a Friend, even when he seems to come forth against her as an Enemy. This is the faith that Jesus commends her, and this is the faith that received her answer.
Today, Where does your answer lie. Does your answer lie in giving up because your prayer has faded away. The deafening silence of the one you know talks to this person and that person, will not even speak to what you have to say! Does your answer get brushed away by the crowd. When it seems that so many have a better "place" with God. Their crowding
around him is far too much to bear. You say to yourself, they are His people I don't belong. Does your answer lie in offense at a brutal master, who is insensitive with his words, and doesn't care for your feelings.
Put your eggs in any of these baskets, and your daughter is still is filled with snake venom, and your life is as well. "But why cant God just know that I'm in pain? why can't God just do something about it? Why can't God talk to me?"
Is it ever right to be treated like an ugly animal? I have at times felt like I have been brushed off of God's shoulder (ahhhh). I have at times dwelt in the camp of God the prick. "god did this to me" we say, I Don't know what to do, but I hate being here, and have no where to turn. Why???
It feels like we're inside the movie scream (which I haven't seen nor will I, cause the concept freaks me out too much). There is some maniac that is into torture to punish us for our sin. Someone might say it is our test, but when I think of tests I think of the SAT's where my slow reading and slow comprehension, made me look terrible. Full of stress and bad grades.
Why? If you are here, at this place, I don't know if I want to give you the answer. The tension of the place that you are at, me giving you an answer may seem trite. "here's your problem, blah blah blah." Me giving you a pad answer for all of your complex circumstances, may feel as painful as being called a Dog for being where you are, who you are. Foolish. It would be like Job's friends emerging from their silence, and telling him stuff that wasn't relevant or even true.
Yet let me at least give you the Syrophenician Woman's answer. Why did Jesus treat her like this? It just seems as though that in this instance He hadn't eaten his bread for the day, or was up to late praying and hadn't had his morning coffee, or maybe he was with his buddies, like danny zooko at the beginning of grease when he acts all cool in
front of his friends, and acts like a jerk towards Sandy.
She cried out to him; where was the Jesus who is always open and attentive to the cries of the poor, who is always ready to give an answer of peace? But to this poor woman there is no answer.
When the disciples spoke well of her; where was the Jesus who's grace gives us every entitlement to go to his throne? But this woman is stopped in her tracks by the very Rules that he is undercutting with the teachers of the law on Saturday.
When she continued; where was the Jesus that welcomes all the little children of the world, Red and Yellow Black and white? (except if you're a Canaanite) Surely that song also apples to Canaanite's? Right? Yet he gives her not only a repulse, but a reproach as well.
Surely in this story this woman outshines the Grumpy Jesus. Surely this woman's syrophenician skin actually looks more beautiful than the Racist pure blood Jew who seems to be as cold as the world around us.
And I think that's where the truth of this story is illuminated. We would love to always have at our beckon call the creator of the universe, "genie, yes master" but if you have lived any sort of life. You understand that life actually is pretty grumpy. You may not have your daughter vomiting up pea soup on your good bed linens, but there is truth to
the fact that there is something in your life, and a grumpy Jesus has your answer.
You may see him for how you see him, But Christ knows you all the way. He knows what is in your heart, knows the strength of your faith, and knows how able you are, by his grace, to break through such discouragements. He therefore meets you with them, that the challenge to your faith might be moved into praise, honour, and glory. which is why those that are through the valley of the shadow of death beam, though he slay me, yet I trust in him.
Jesus heard her, and was pleased with her, and strengthened her with strength in her soul to prosecute her request (Ps. 138:3; Job 23:6), though he did not immediately give her the answer she expected. By seeming to draw away the desired mercy from her, he drew her on to be so much the more passionate for it.
The thing is, Every accepted prayer is not immediately an answered prayer. Sometimes God seems not to regard his people’s prayers, he's not asleep or surprised (Ps. 44:23; Jer. 14:9; Ps. 22:1, 2); nor is he angry at you(Ps. 80:4; Lam. 3:8, 44); but it is to prove, and so to improve, your faith, and to make his answer more glorious, and for you, more welcome. For the result, at the end, shall speak, and shall not lie, (Heb. 2:3. See Job
35:14)
Continued persistence may be uneasy to men, even to good men; but Christ loves to be cried after. For everyone, the subject of entitlement is always going to fall short. You are not God, and it is by mercy that He gives you audience. You did nothing to deserve it, yet he has given it none the less. On the other hand to see that there are those that are around God, it is a great trial. When we give a question whether we are one of those to whom Christ was sent. This could cause us to falter before approaching the cross. But, blessed be to God, no room is left for that doubt; the distinction is taken away; we are sure that he gave his life a ransom for many, and if for many, why not for me?
Finally those whom Christ intends most signally to honour, he first humbles and lays low in a sense of their own meanness and unworthiness. We must first see ourselves to be as dogs, less than the least of all God’s mercies, before we are fit to be dignified and privileged with them. Those who are not humble will immediately take offense and leave,
those that are, will realize their lack of entitlement and persist in asking the King of the answers.
Today you have your life ahead of you. You have your prayers and requests beaming out of you. I want to encourage you that no matter what your situation, that God loves you, knows you, and has crafted this life for you so that you can be more then a conqueror. That you may live by the hands of your faith, in the greatest room in the house. It is my hope that other graces will shine bright in your life as well -- wisdom, humility, meekness, patience, and perseverance in prayer; Yet it is by your faith that these other products of grace will come in.
Your life, your pain, your daughter that is on her last legs that is torturing you... Even the silence, ridicule, or inadequacy that further places you on the chopping block. Behind the Vail of that world of pain that you see now is God who tells you:HOLD FAST.I AM THE ANSWER.I DO LOVE YOU.I.... am not a dick.
