9 year ordinationversary

19 years ago it was my dream to be in leadership at a church. I readily did any volunteer work I could at the church I was at. I looked and searched for other meetings that would suit my fancy. I was driven by a hunger and brightness in my eyes. I was saved! I didn’t ever have Jesus before and I felt alive to the things of beauty and sparkle. I quickly wanted to Study the bible. Why? I wanted to learn about Jesus.

Several people at the time asked me why I would study Religion, specifically the Bible in college, and my answer was simple and unadulterated: “because I want to tell people about Jesus, and I want to get paid for it.” I was in the brink of possibilities, I hadn’t experienced much, other than the rapture of knowing Christ. It made a difference in my life. Big, sparkly, tell the table you are bussing about God type of sparkles. It was a time in which prayers with people gave me an afterglow, messages from the front ended up as frantic scribbles in my bible, and Christian radio was chalk full of content that I would quote to my friends.

I was driven, yet not driven to the point of going the usual path. The path where you go to seminary, then apply for jobs and work your way up in the church world, to finally become a part of church leadership. The show! Head Pastor. No, I didn't feel that was the right way to go for me. The drive was there, the desire to tell people about Jesus was there, but the climbing part of the church world job market was one not for me. Actually that’s not true, right out of college I bought myself an acoustic guitar, and applied for a youth ministry position in Hillsboro. I didn't get it, their reasoning? I was too conservative. So I did try once to climb that ladder,however it just so happened I met Ken and Deborah, who started the bridge near the same time as not getting the youth position.

Ken and Deborah and Crystal baffled my mind with the idea of starting a church. My thinking at the time was “why would you start a church? There are so many churches, why put out the effort to develop one more? Why not fix the ones that are there?” Though these are questions that still would make for a great topic. The fact was they started the bridge to Bring presence of God to the young and disenfranchised and broken of Portland. Restore the arts to the Church. Provide a future orientation for those with a broken past. Lead people to a true-life healing based upon God's love and acceptance. Train people in life skills. Provide an atmosphere of full equality for women in all areas of endeavor. With the help of God letting me know that I was going to be at their church, before it was a church. I found myself swept away in the excitement of a new church plant.

In the seven years of being a part of the bridge I gained experiences. I got my first Job out of College, I bought a house, I got my second job out of college, I got married, I changed careers, I sold my house, I moved to Northern California to start Bridge 2, I learned how to do freelance design work in an island economy, I had my first failed attempt at starting a church in northern California, I Moved back to Portland to live in an attic, I got a divorced. Mame says “Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” by the time 2004 rolled around I felt like I was the sucker of life. And not in a good way.

Even a dream of mine of becoming a pastor, “making the show”, had gone away. I told Ken probably 4 years into the bridge in a men’s group session: “I don’t think that I want to be a pastor anymore. I see myself now, and what drove me to that desired outcome and I think it’s pretty diabolical.” You see I’m pretty sure most people that initially want church leadership are usually dealing with some hard core control or power issues. I found mine to be control. It’s why I feel out of sorts at a cocktail party, UNLESS I am hosting.  That position gives me legitimacy in my feelings of I’m not worthy. In the infancy of my Christianity, the pastor was the “host.”  The person that had everything together. I wanted that.  I shared this with ken, the reality of my own terribleness disqualifying me of my dream. He listened

Later Ken told me it is that sort of awareness that qualifies you again for this job. Laying down your dream or compulsion in a reflective manner for the sake of those who you serve. When you are aware of your pitfalls enough to keep them in mind and at bay while doing the very thing that could abuse them. That is the paradox of pastoring correctly.

You see, growing up in my family, there was a lot of earning and showing. You earned your love and position through correct behavior. You towed the line so that you showed well, so that you could earn more love and respect. This is not a picture of grace, this is a picture of getting what you want by doing whatever it takes. Much of my relationship with God and issues with control stemmed from this.

I wanted to be the good son. My legitimacy was found in being the good son and it filtered down into the other portions of my life where I found my legitimacy in being the good worker, getting the good house, and ultimately having the top echelon of being “spiritually good.”  Christ did this for me. And I had to walk out the differences between being legitimate by having the right answers, and philosophy, and simply being happy with myself. There is nothing wrong with having good things, and doing good things, but when they are set there in the place of you feeling ok with yourself, they are not so good.

So a funny thing happened 9 years ago when I pretty much was in a non-qualifying place in my life. I was recovering from a failed church plant attempt, divorced, scrambling, living in an attic, hanging on to God for dear life, and the 10 year dream of making it into church leadership had been set aside for good. At  that time, Ken and Deborah sat me down and asked me to come on staff. Now they didn’t know I was as much of a mess as I was. Realistically I didn’t know I was that much of a mess either. I remember them sort of kicking themselves for asking me mid-process. But really it was where God needed to take me. It was a place in my life where I wasn’t the good anything. I was the disappointment. I couldn’t leverage my flawless record of sinless behavior, I couldn’t do anything but hang onto God and say “I’m available.”

9 years later I still stand in the same place of non-qualification saying “I am available.” I am here. I care.  You are important enough to stand here and tell you about my friend Jesus. Even before I came on staff I knew my initial idea of “arriving” in church leadership was naive. 9 years later I have developed a trust in God that is a necessity for this job, and I know for a fact that there is no arriving. There is only the continual softening of a heart that can become hard at any moment. Being right, being in control, and not being the douche are not an option with this opportunity. The point is allowing your ego to be soft enough to admit when you are in error.

Jesus taught me this. He taught me this by showing me that God loves me even when I am a disappointment. He lets me know that my availability is far more important than my qualifications. Jesus has taught me that that there will always be poignant words on Sunday that call us to becoming better people. And when I forget to be those kinds of people, Jesus gives me another chance to begin again. Jesus is kind. He cares, and holds my broken heart.

I have had the opportunity to serve this community for 9 years. And it continues to challenge me and grow me. It is a gift that continues to refocus my life on the one thing that is most important: the seeking of the kingdom of God. It’s all around us, and if we choose we can participate in it. Which is what we’ve been designed to do.

Here's the video of the closing  interpretive dance of my last 9 years

Here are my “best talks out of nine years”

Year 1 http://geoffreythebold.blogspot.com/2005/09/retarded-message_112656396425229917.html

Year 2 http://geoffreythebold.blogspot.com/2006/07/serving-ham.html

Year 3 http://geoffreythebold.blogspot.com/2007/11/whirlwind-is-in-thorntree.html

Year 4 http://geoffreythebold.blogspot.com/2008/07/little-shits.html

Year 5 http://geoffreythebold.blogspot.com/2009/11/is-it-spiritual-to-be-poor.html

Year 6 http://geoffreythebold.blogspot.com/2010/06/anger-videos.html

Year 7 http://geoffreythebold.blogspot.com/2011/03/put-that-around-your-neck-and-wear-it.html

Year 8 http://geoffreythebold.blogspot.com/2012/04/gospel-of-drsuess.html

Year 9 http://geoffreythebold.blogspot.com/2013/03/last-week-jesse-moved-us-through.html

So I have done some good reflection on the 9 years of me being a pastor. And rather than bore you with stories… I thought I we would play a game. Pastoral trivia.

year 1

You are a pastor of the bridge, You just preached a clever message using the word retarded about 35 times in the message to illustrate the deficiency of people’s love for each other without the lens of Christ. A woman comes up to you sobbing by your message. As you talk to her you find out that her brother was mentally underdeveloped, died at the age of 5 and it happened to be his birthday today. Do you:

1. explain to her how clever the use of the word is, and how you didn’t mean to have her remember such a hard memory
2. say you are sorry, and hope she comes back
3. say the sermon again because she apparently wasn’t listening
4. meet with her later for tea, listen to what she says and buy a picture that she drew

The bridge got kicked out of its second building because:

1.        We couldn’t pay rent
2. .      Loveland didn’t agree with our statement of faith
3.       A supposed pastor came in and robbed and vandalized the space
4.    We didn’t do a good job cleaning

Year 2

You just Delivered a clever sermon entitled “serving ham” it is about:

1.        Easter for the Gentiles
2.    The demise of noah’s son’s dreams of show business
3.    The pigs that the demons possess
4.    Serving ham

Your co-pastor takes a third of your church to start a new church downtown. Do you:

1.    Bad mouth him behind his back
2.     Quit
3.     Don’t talk to him ever again
4.      Every 5^th Sunday serve his entire church a meal

Year 3

Someone leaves your church and takes others with them because your theology doesn't stand up to theirs. Do you:

1.     Say “thank God” for him leaving
2.    Treasure those people within your community that are interested in giving you the benefit of the doubt
3.      Bless the haters by sending them out to start a new church
4.    All of the above

The bridge got kicked out of its 3^rd building because

1.    Philosophy differences with the Mississippi ballroom
2.    The Dance Company needed Sunday mornings too
3.    The food attracted too many meth addicts
4.    We were too loud for the neighbors

Year 4

What was the most played bridgekids song

1.    Rihonna’s umbrella
2.    Deep and wide
3.    Kanye West’s Stronger
4.    This little light of mine

You just preached a clever sermon entitled “the little shits”. Is it about:

1. The time you pooped your pants running
2. The time you realized you had a hole in your pants during gymclass for the last 2 months
3.  The dogshit incident
4.   The ministry of children

Year 5

How many people are at the bridge today that  have gone through the journaling course that was introduced 4 years ago?

You just preached a clever sermon answering why Christians are so mean. Your answer was:

1.    Because they are not Christians
2.    Because they are filled with satanic tendencies at the time
3.      Because there are no real Christians, just those who say they are
4.      they have learned that it is better to be RIGHT than it is to be Christ like. They’ve learned to condemn and cut off others because of their beliefs, and would be happy to share their RIGHT beliefs with you so that they can justify that they are better than you.

Year 6

Who retired as a pastor of the bridge in 2011?

The bridge Was helped along its movement to its current building because of what incident.

1.    The placement of “keep off the lawn” signs
2.    The writer of the shack couldn’t come back
3.       Bridge bio couldn’t be done from the balcony any more
4.    The BK lounge crowded out the rest of the church

Year 7

A buckeye is a ?

Year 8

you preach a sermon about sliming someone. What are you referring to?

1.  when it puts the lotion on its skin
2. when you find you are too close at a ball game
3. When you use the excuse of God to legitimize your stance
4.  when you are the holy ghost and about to do some bustin'

Who stepped down as a pastor in June of 2012?

Year 9

What was the product that sponsored the gameshow sunday of August?

1. get on with your life
2. dirtyolmouth
3. divisive campaign
4. shutthefuckup

What is the only thing you can get kicked out of the bridge for?

1. not being thankful 
2. being a sexual predator
3. not having your bathing suit area covered
4. taking jello shots before worshipping

Experiencing the Cross

The Cross. A symbol that is known all over the world. Two lines intersecting at one point. Simple. Yet packed with meaning. Like the yin yang, the sickle, the Star of David, and the swoosh, The cross as an icon that tells a story.

Today we are going to experience the Cross.

I want to take you back in time. To the birth of a symbol. At this point it has the same meaning as the electric chair, the gallows, the guillotine, the lethal injection. You look up to the hillside as the sun is setting and you see against the dimming red light, silhouettes of those being punished by your government. The government that tolerates you expressing yourself, like your own belief in God, yet despises your practices. You see political revolutionaries nailed to wood and slowly suffocate on these two beams. Blood drips down their arms and legs as they squirm to find a breath. You only need to be told to know what happens on that hill. You begin justifying it as a result of living in civilized society. Thieves, murderers, and people who deserve it are up on that hill. The cross is a means to cleanse those wrongdoers of our world.

Jesus of Nazereth. A political revolutionary. A man who found himself in the crosshairs of two pieces of wood.  This man experienced the raw form of this symbol. Though his judge Pontius Pilot deemed him innocent, Jesus of Nazereth was executed because of the words and symbolic acts that he was representing. The message he was executed for? The effective presence of the God who was only available to those who were the right birth class, or exclusive to the correct scholarship. The God who was only available to those who paid the high price of reconciliation in the temple. That God who blessed only particularly rich families. THAT GOD, Jesus’ Father was actually available to all. To the leper, to the blind, to those that found themselves estranged from the devine.  Jesus of Nazereth said to those that couldn’t afford the dove for sacrifice at the temple. For You… Forgiveness is as available to you as Jordan Water.

Wake up… feel the cleansing water that is as real as God’s forgiveness for you. The Kingdom of God is at hand. What God is doing, can be available even to YOU!

It was this message and expression of Gods availability that put Jesus of Nazereth on the cross.

Torture, Murder, Being stabbed, nailed, not being able to breathe. We would think that these would be the main elements that were what made this a painful experience. And if this was the run of the mill execution it probably would be. But Jesus was not the run of the mill guy. Sure he experienced the full onslaught of physical pain that came from the damage to his body. However, if you listen to his words you will hear the REAL challenges of the cross. Listen… Listen…

Father Forgive them for they know not what they do…

You are innocent. You are spreading the message of God’s availability to all. You are doing that symbolically by having God work through you and people who have never been able to receive such a message of hope are now hearing and believing it.  They are finding joy in such a message. They are FINDING themselves in your message. Freedom in a life with an available God. What’s this? Here come some assholes that want to take that away from these  people? They want to stop this hope that people are finding? They want to put an end to you and your message. If they take you out, they can resume the political and social status quo. They can become top dog again. So they fix a trial. They lie about you. They gossip about you. They go out of their way to destroy you. AND They get your friends to betray you. They win. You are here, on the cross. The injustice is too much to bear. The cross is telling you let your rage seethe. Let your bitterness take hold. Let your anger damn them all to HELL. The cross is asking you to succumb. Yield it says… become broken by me. Yet you say Father Forgive them for they know not what they do…

Challenge #1:Think to yourself three people who have treated you unjustly. They hurt you. They betrayed you. Do you have your three. I would like you to attempt to extend the same forgiveness that Jesus gave to his murderers. Say this/
THE PERSON’S NAME Father Forgive them for they know not what they do.

__________________

Are you ready for the next challenge? Now the cross is not only killing you but there is someone on either side of you. They are murderers, criminals and thieves. You see one of them, and sure enough he did what he was executed for. He knows you didn’t do anything to deserve being put to death. You didn’t do what he did. The cross is telling you that others are lower than you. You don’t deserve this… THEY do. The cross is telling the thief that he IS a thief… HE deserves this! The cross is telling you to give into the temptation to elevate yourself above someone else. The Cross is telling you you are something that you truly aren’t. Is the cross convincing you. Are you better than the guy next to you. Are you a criminal. Do you deserve this? Do they deserve this? You break free of the thrumming sleepy song of betterment. For you see yourself as God sees you. You see others as God sees you. And you communicate to the person next to you: This day you will be with me in paradise

Challenge#2: I would like you to consider how God sees you. On the piece of paper, write down “I am a treasure to God.” Then describe why or what God treasures about you.

Post it in the comments below if you wish.

_______________

Oh but the Cross is full of challenges! As if torture, forgiving, and moral escalation weren’t enough… Now in the middle of our own termination, we are faced with social issues. Before you is someone you have been given the responsibility to care for. You’re dying! Shouldn’t they have compassion? Shouldn’t they let you off the hook? As you are facing your own expiration, you are overwhelmed with the responsibilities that you are leaving behind. Your friend is there. But he is a busy man. He would be the person who you would pick to take care of your responsibilities, but you don’t want to burden him with more responsibility. The Cross says… Don’t ask. Just die and let things sort out. The Cross says you are dying, you don’t need to impose the responsibility of your mother onto your friend. Just let it be. Yet you say to your Mom and your friend Behold your son, behold your mother.

Challenge#3: What circumstances have made your responsibilities something that you cannot take care of? On your piece of paper write down one responsibility that you haven’t been able to take care of due to circumstances. Now name one person that could possibly help you with that responsibility. Your task this week is to reach out to that person and ask them for help.

 _________

Well now the cross has become real y’all.

How does it feel to experience anti-love? You now know that YOU are rejected. You are rejected by those that have placed you here for your displayed death. And you are rejected by the God who didn’t save you. You contemplate where you are, and why you are there. And realize that you are there because God placed you there. It was God’s message of availability. It was God’s circumstances that you knew you were aligning with. Yet where is God now? The Cross says this is what you deserve for  aligning with this political endeavor. That this is a result of God not being present in what you stand for. The cross tries to convince you that you were wrong. That the reason for your punishment is because of God’s justice. You are confused. The cross is taking hold. Saying “Be silent. Whimper and die Rejected because you deserve it.” Yet your lungs fill with music as you repeat a psalm “My god My god why have YOU forsaken me? “ psalm 22. Your heart cries in the midst of rejection. And you shriek in anguish, sing for wisdom as you experience rejection from Man and your own God.

Challenge#4: On your piece of paper think of a moment that you felt rejected by God, Are you allowed to think about that? Where have you felt that distance from God. I want you to write 8 words that describe that time.

Now link them with filler words. (the, I was, and the I) consider sharing these words to someone who won’t be interested in “fixing” you. Post your poem in comments below if you wish

_________

Well we’ve now entered the time of the cross where we need to say our announcements.
Get your Bible On at Gaston’s, Beer and Hymns this Friday.

Actually the cross has an announcement…. Uh Oh… that pesky Cross. It’s trying to get us to do something again… Listen… don’t do it… Don’t do it… Let’s think…. what usually happens  during announcements? Oh yeah…. Offering… Why does the cross not want us to do offering? You made wine out of water…. You made loaves and fishes. Surely you don’t need to ask these people for financial compensation. OH I see cross. You are saying that we should be self sufficient without the help of others. your resources come from yourself. You don’t need help you don’t need to take the offering. Yet you say I thirst. I thirst.

Challenge#5: tell the cross who’s boss by knowing that we must have humility to find our resources in God and others. Participate in asking of your community. Also Participate in giving to your community. When we Give, we also share in that community of humility.

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Challenge#6: Well the Cross still has a couple tricks up its sleeve. We’ve battled the pain… its still killing us, we’ve forgiven our torturers, we’ve fought moral ascendancy, we’ve dealt with our responsibilities, we’ve done art in the face of rejection, we have adopted the humility to accept resources outside of ourselves. But that cross still gives us a punch. “LIVE LIVE LIVE”. Well that’s new… Interesting that something bent on killing us wants us to get up. I think this has to do with something a lot bigger than us. A long time ago in the infancy of Man. Something happened to break  our relationship with God. You being here today on the cross, allows you to say to that severed relationship It is finished.

Explore for yourself what you think is finished. Come up with one new idea that you have never seen before about the breach that occurred back in the days of the garden.

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Well its been quite a ride. One more curveball we are given. The cross is singing your song. The song of brokenness. The song of rejection from Challenge #4. The cross is saying what are you going to do if you die? Where will you go? What will happen. If your God truly rejected you. You are screwed! You notice that you do have to reconcile a little bit. The cross is right. Can you hold onto a grudge that holds God responsible for rejecting you? It would feel good to keep it up. Yet instead you say: into your hands I commit my spirit.

Challenge#7: Attempt to reconcile to those who have rejected you. Write down three ways you can be poised to make things right with those that have cut you off.

WHY I DO WHAT I DO AND WHERE?

Last week Jesse moved us through an amazing meditation on lent and how to make this season more meaningful to us. One of the things that came up was a Ted talk that dealt with business. But they said people don't buy the product they buy from the company that has answered a set of Why they are making such a product. I watched the talk and I agreed. I knew what I did. I knew relatively how I did it. But rarely have I gone to that next place and said "WHY DO I DO THE THINGS I DO?"

I went to town.

• Why do I make websites for a living?  To bring beauty and functionality to people's primary contribution to community.
• why am I a dad? Parents are producers of a joyful, loving, stable world. How: By growing children into loving, joyful people who impact tomorrow by being who they truly are.
• Why am I a husband? Because I love crystal.

So after a week of why I thought I would answer it for why I have decided to be a pastor. It is a little out of my element to have a sunday in which I talk be about me... Usually I hide behind clever concepts and rude word pictures, but I guess today I am taking off the blinders and showing my endgame.
So first I want to tackle Why I do what I do.
When I was looking at this I really couldn't Portland this up very well. However much I wanted to rephrase or restate. I couldn't get the reality out. So I'll state it bluntly: I serve Jesus. There are all sorts of ways I can say that differently but really it doesn't change that statement. So the real question is why do I serve Jesus?

1. Because Jesus extracted me from being an inward person that just wanted my way and had no real direction. 
When I was growing up I was in cub scouts and boy scouts. And one of the things that boys scouts are known for is helping old ladies accross the street. Now even though I wasn't an evil child. service was pretty much not something that came natural for me. And Perhaps it is the scout way to train service into you. However, they couldn't do that either. I had to be required to serve, and then when I got my signature I was off doing what I wanted to do.

The seeped into my college years when i became a buddhist. I remember studying the monks in Tibet and how they would get up early and  sweep the streets. I idealized them... yet service was another requirement that I was getting checked off. This time to do service would mean the ultimate check off: enlightenment. However it still was like pulling teeth to get any service out of me... and I was the scout handbook this time.

At 20 when I became a christian, something very odd changed. I can't say it will happen to everyone, but for me, when I adopted Christ as my own, I began naturally serving people. I was doing loaves and fishes for elder people, I was playing music for the kids program. And I was just looking for something else to do. This I might add was not for any sort of signature or discipline. It just was naturally coming out ... so I have a great gratitude that my relationship with Jesus took me out of a self centered game, and into a life of living for others on terms I enjoy.

2. I believe Jesus is the Picture of God.
I didn't used to really think this, in fact, there was a sermon I preached once that because I didn't have the concept firmly in my mind that on a single sunday 10 people were so infuriated with what I said they left the church. To put that in perspective, think if you after reading this were so infuriated with me that you decided to never speak to me again. Now multiply that 10 times. Thankfully the people of the bridge are much more able to consider the speaker and their fallibilty over their theology. My hope is before relationship is severed over theology that healthy doses of commitment to the other are administered

After reading a lot, I now have a solid stance on why Jesus is an accurate portrayal of God. We all have weird views of God. In fact many people hate God because of their view of people in general, however if you ask the same people if they hate Jesus, it seems like a silly question. It sort of is like hating the sweet old lady down the street. It kind of says more about you than her. Jesus is hard to hate because he is the solid form of God that we can relate to. This is why I think he is an accurate picture of God.

3. I believe that by knowing Jesus, living with the Holy Spirit, and being a part of what God is doing now (ie the kingdom of God)- by doing all of those things I have the ability to be truly who I am designed to be.

 Over the course of my eight years as pastor here, it has been a little schizophrenic. I'm sure everybody has their own way of communicating with God. Mine functions as a conversation in my head. Lilly Tomlin joked “Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?” This is how I see communication with God:

Basically the above says... the closer you are with God the less he has to Tell you stuff and the more you already want to do it.

That said, I feel that there is a design for each one of us to be exactly who we are. And my specific bent suggests that with the partnership and communion of the Holy Spirit I can get there. And I feel so can you.
I believe that Jesus' death and resurrection is a change agent that removes me from self-centeredness, and allows for clear access and communication to God, which is necessary to live my life in harmony with creation, and in the joy and turmoil of solving life's problems.

I think by relieving ourselves from being in charge we begin to tap into the actual creation forces that begin to work for us. (land timeline, and nature) Personally I think much of the earth's disharmony is based on people who are taking control for themselves.

So in a nutshell Why do I follow Jesus?

• Jesus takes me out of self-centeredness, is the picture of God, by being in partnership I am more of who I've been designed to be, and more able to live in harmony with creation

Those are the reasons I am who I am

NOW ... How I do what I do.
Why have I decided to be a pastor of a church?
I am honored to expose anyone to Jesus to who would consider it, because it has made such a huge impact in my life.
When I was going to college and learning the bible. People asked me "what are you going to do with that?" I told them plainly, I want people to pay me to tell them about Jesus. And I guess today they do. Not enough to live on... but I have other employment thankfully.

I want to share and help. Sometimes we need someone to coach us into better techniques, and Jesus has taught me some things, and if you want I would love to coach you in the way. I believe that we all need coaches in becoming better people. And I wish to encourage the relationship between you and Jesus.
I also value the beauty of people coming together from all walks of life and impacting each other with their own piece of God that they have singularly been designed to share in their timeline. It is in this coming together that allows us to become better people. Basically more in line with who God has designed us to be. I feel that by taking on the responsibility as leader in this church I can keep this community doing what it does. AND I can be a significant agent in more people becoming more themselves and celebrated because of it.

Nutshell: Why have I chosen to take on the role of pastor?

• I wish to coach and encourage the relationship between you and Jesus. And to do what I can to encourage us coming together so that our own personal pieces of God can form an amazing picture of who God Actually is.

Finally Where I do what I do
Why do I serve at the bridge?
I believe that all people should be loved and accepted

I feel that Jesus was a great model for boundaries, love and acceptance. And by exposing those aspects of benevolence that he modeled we are inspired to love, as well as included by those who are so inspired.
Usually the people that have found the bridge as their home are those who have been hurt by the corporate machine of church either in the capacity of being in it or by those in the proximity of it. So we are a spiritual ER that tends to the wounds of those that are bitter, sarcastic, flagrant, and flamboyant. And the reality is that some Die. We are a triage unit that patches and moves, diagnoses and suggests care. We have to move quickly to get people to surgery, and we pray for their recovery. It is very exciting and exhausting, and if you've been here a while ... it's very hard.

I have a profound respect for someone in this community that is challenging us all by speaking out, and giving up for lent the traits of God that they never thought were congruous with who God really is. Why is this profound and groundbreaking? For me it is because I simply never thought that my God was riddled with asterisks, carrots and caviots, and realistically reflected much of broken humanity. Yet by this person speaking up, and challenging hidden agendas that have been masked in theology, we all are exposed to a view of God that demands rethinking.

This is a special place for that person.
This is a special place that is for you. The person who needs God without the cultural minutia that doesn't include others.
Simply I serve here at the Bridge because I love the people that need a Bridge.

How this works itself out is I communicate to those that would listen: the emotion, action, and sound of Jesus as the picture of who God is.
And I think WE do this CHURCH THING by using current terms, current stories, current people to communicate a life of beauty, equality, harmony, reality, liberty, justice and joy.
Why are you who you are? How do you express it? Where do you express it?
I encourage you this week to sit down and list what your different roles are, and why you do them. I think this exercise will strengthen your everyday efforts. Perhaps as a result you will hopefully let your why be expressed here at the Bridge.

The End

We all have beginnings. I guess except God.

But the earth, air, light, animals, humanity all “began.” However you think about it, unless you have a better theory, everything begins. Also except for the mobius strip, everything has an end. Nobody likes to really think about it, especially at church because it is a little depressing. We all love the new, the fresh, the recently purchased, and are not so interested in the end of things.

I remember seeing the movie “stand by me” when I was almost in middle school. Stand by me was a movie with a really great 50’s soundtrack, and was about 4 middle school boys going to go see a dead body that they learned about from one of the kids older brothers. I was almost the age of these boys, and I wished that I could have their adventure on the train tracks. These boys were in the beginning of their life as they embarked on this adventure.  In this beginning they learned about the abuse that one of the boys took from his father. In this beginning they dodged a train from a bridge. Something about this movie’s storyline was a magnet to my soul.  And as I was a kid that was in the beginning of my life, I was learning from them. I learned the story of Lardass Hogan and how he got back at the entire town for being so mean to him. I was a part of boyscouts, but there wasn’t that solitary intimacy where stories were told and hikes were made. We were city kids.

Something about this beginning was fresh, and spoke to me. Near the end of the film the narrator talked about where everyone was now. One of the kids had grown up to be a bar tender and was killed because he got in the middle of a fight and was knifed. A grim end. There probably wouldn’t be a movie that would depict that storyline. Unless it was a story of revenge, ending in the justice and retribution of the innocent.

I’m probably going to get flack for this one, but I recently read the hunger games because of the hype encircling the new movie. And I was disappointed. Not because it wasn’t a rivoting storyline, it was super engaging. I just didn’t think the author would go there. When I learned the nature of the book, I thought: “Surely I won’t read about children killing each other… this will be a good book about how one person revolutionizes the status quo.” But I was wrong. I read about children killing other children in a gruesome battle. I thought it would be a story of alliance, and morality over the forced hand of the evil government. Nope. It’s about a girl who kicks the ass of other children in the hunger games. I’m pretty sure the other books in the series will get there eventually. I’m just not interested anymore, because though it is rivoting I feel sort of betrayed that the author had me go there, and realistically I don’t need to read any more about kids killing other kids.

When it comes to storyline, I enjoy suspense, I enjoy a real ending where the main character learns the whole story and it has an ominous tone. I love a happy ending as well… who am I kidding. Or if there is a poignant Standing on a desk and saying O captain my captain. And the bagpipes are sounding. And you are seeing respect of someone that is getting fired for being a scapegoat. We’ll you have me in tears. But full on tragedy or blatant gore to the end. You’ve lost me.

I wonder what the end of the story was like for Nicodemus. Nicodemus was this guy who was a part of the Sanhedrin that shows up in John’s telling of Jesus’ story. The Sanhedrin was the people that ran things in the temple. And because of the controversy surrounding Jesus, Nicodemus met him during the night. It was Nic’s beginning, at least in our story…that we hear the fabled football verse: John 3:16. For God loved the world that He gave his only son, that whoever believes in him shall not parish but have life abundant. He knew Jesus was a master of the things of God. But in the beginning, was completely confused by him. How do I enter my mothers womb again? He asked as Jesus talked about being born again. Can you imagine being introduced to Jesus and having his first things that he says make you question if he is asking you to crawl up your mom’s vagina?

Nic was on the inside, but he saw that Jesus had something that he wanted. He wanted clarification. He snuck around to find it, but was confused by Jesus’ answers. Messages about being re-born from the spirit, thoughts about how God works like the wind, cryptic words about salvation associated with moses’ serpent staff being raised up, and finally a soliloquy on trust in who Jesus is as the Son of God.

Something happened in that beginning besides confusion though, because Nic seems to keep popping in and out of John’s storyline. The next time he shows up in John 7 the Sanhedrin were starting to get pissed at Jesus’ message. They had sent some officers to seize Jesus, and the officers didn’t do it. Irate, they began accusing the officers for being taken in by Jesus’ magic. But Nic piped up, he said “Our Law does not judge a man unless it first hears from him and knows what he is doing, does it?” He questioned the torches and pitchforks they had for Jesus’, and very quickly they dismissed Nicodemus because of where he grew up. “you’re from galilee.” Here is a man, wealthy, has religious power. Yet because he was a voice of reason that went against the dominant paradigm, he was diminished.

Finally we see Nicodemus, after Jesus has been cruxified. John writes this: Nicodemus, who had first come to Jesus at night, came now in broad daylight carrying a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. They took Jesus' body and, following the Jewish burial custom, wrapped it in linen with the spices. There was a garden near the place he was crucified, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been placed. So, because it was Sabbath preparation for the Jews and the tomb was convenient, they placed Jesus in it.

He had come at night, and now he came in broad daylight. Peter who denied Jesus 3 times, said there was no connection between them, was shown up by Nicodemus; someone who only felt comfortable talking to him at night.

This is Nicodemus’ end of the story. Burying Jesus. I’m not sure if being a part of the Sanhedrin that Nicodemus would be ignorant of the rumors that went out Easter morning. But this is all John gives us of this character. Nicodemus’ story ends here with myrrh and aloes in the light of day.

And I think that is what I want us to hold in tension here. I am so programmed to want the happy ending, or the new beginning where everything is fresh, or stand on that hope, that I don’t feel the difficulty of the end. I gloss over the loss of the character that got stabbed because that isn’t a good storyline. I feel gross inside because the author instead of giving me a vibrant story of revolution and morality I am stuck with the horror of children that end each other’s lives. Ends aren’t fun. And because of my need to skip to the Resurrection, I miss the value of the end of Nicodemus’ story.

His story is one of being placed in an impossible situation where to align with Jesus is to be diminished. He is intrigued; he sneaks to learn from him, he finds Jesus has much about him that is right, he begins defending him to his group, and yes he gets diminished, and finally.. in the end Nicodemus finds too much value in Jesus to sneak around, and he chooses to honor him with burial. The end of this story is not only one of compassion, but one of revolution. He is there tending to his friend in the light of day. Nicodemus’ end is a farewell to being bound by the constrains that the Sanhedrin would have for him. Though we may want to skip to Jesus conquering death, Nic’s mournful compassion of Jesus unlocked the chains of control his world had over him. Let’s not skip the weight and meaning of ends so that we can plow into new beginnings.

It is important to feel that loss. To be present in it. It allows us to cling to loved ones for support. It opens us up to new possibilities. It makes us human. It is hard, and scary, but if we don’t face it we will miss the weight and meaning in the end.

It is very much like in the Charlie brown cartoon where Linus is waiting for his blanket to be dried. There is nothing to hold onto. Anxiety and self doubt are up, motivation and efficiency is down.  Old weaknesses such as confused priorities and miscommunications emerge. People are polarized. Teamwork is undermined.

You never want to read a book or watch a movie that yields those results… it’s not worth it. Waste of money. Yet we all have beginnings and we all have ends. And yes those end’s transition into new beginnings. But today I want to pay respect to the weight and importance of the farewell.

Donna VanHorn has been a part of our community for years, and two or three years ago began the process of taking this community on as a responsibility. Within that time she listened to you, enjoyed you, spent Christmas with you, loved you. Also within that time she grappled with an end of her own. A threatening bout of cancer that through the difficulty of surgery and medication challenged who she thought she was. Now, as a masters holder in spiritual direction, Donna’s end with us is here. And It is important for us to say: thank you, we love you, and do great things.

Two months ago we did a journaling workshop in grief that Donna inspired. I went through the difficulty of coming to terms with the end of my dad’s life. He died about 2 years ago of a brain tumor.

In one particular exercise I remembered a time in which I played my harmonica in the Westminster Presbyterian Cathedral at my Grandpa’s funeral. My aunt LouAnne who is a harpist accompanied me. We played amazing grace together. Me for my Grandpa, and her for her dad. We had many beginnings together. My grandpa teaching me to hike up a hill in a zig zag fashion to make it less steep. Him teaching me how to fish. And him throwing me a box of harmonicas and telling me that I should learn, because he never did. LouAnne and I played in memory of him that day at his funeral.

It was this image that came to me as I was remembering my Dad. My dad was a civil war buff, and collected artifacts from that time. When he was 3 months away from dying, he chose what song would be played at his funeral. The song is called the Ashokan Farewell. A song that was made popular from the civil war series on PBS. It is those two thoughts that merged in my mind to bring this journal to life for me. Here it is:

The Harmonica solo resounds throughout the space, the harp is playing the joy and golden tone echoing through the cathedral walls. The sound echos and is warm and happy to be here with you.
The song rises and falls and is dreamy, the joy is bright and the vibrato is like water on the still pond that you tossed a small stone into.
The brightness of the tone is like the mountain air.
The tone than goes to the Ashokan Farewell and paints the dark clear night and a large full moon over the water.
The dreamy sadness is sweet in the air and the memory of my dad is within it.
The song ends and there is a warmth and echo in the sanctuary
[The warmth of the wood and the cushions of the sanctuary allow me to be still and happy."
I love you Dad.

ASHOKAN FAREWELL
The sun is sinking low in the sky above Ashokan.
The pines and the willows know soon we will part.
There's a whisper in the wind of promises unspoken,
And a love that will always remain in my heart.

My thoughts will return to the sound of your laughter,
The magic of moving as one,
And a time we'll remember long ever after
The moonlight and music and dancing are done.

Will we climb the hills once more?
Will we walk the woods together?
Will I feel you holding me close once again?
Will every song we've sung stay with us forever?
Will you dance in my dreams or my arms until then?

Under the moon the mountains lie sleeping
Over the lake the stars shine.
They wonder if you and I will be keeping
The magic and music, or leave them behind.

Give Donna a hug. Be sad, Be happy for her, Be present, and celebrate her farewell with us.

Healing with a Blank Slate

Last week crystal talked to us about the sustaining andhealing power of what we do. And how we choose things that tend to keep us where we are, rather than doing the difficult movement that actually causes healing. Like an oxygen tank, many of us have chosen to do things that look like they are healing, but they only coil around our necks and profess our coming demise. How do we be still and allow for healing?

My friend Galen heals little kids for a living. I talk with him once a week, and he tells me the crazy things that are happening in his practice. He’s a pediatric physical therapist, but his skill level and abilities move beyond simple muscle and structural manipulation. Weekly, I am inspired and almost moved to jealousy about how visceral his faith and connection to God is providing practical life change in others. He isn’t prescribing Tylenol to lessen the pain of the hip dysplasia, he is doing the work to heal the problem that is afflicting these people. He isn’t giving oxygen to the dying, he is providing life.

This doesn’t immune himself from the pains of affliction, or the inevitability of death. About once a year one of his kids dies, because of the level of physical ailments that they have. He is rocked by each of these occurrences. Yet he continues to learn new techniques of healing, and is very good at his Job.

Sometimes, as I talk to him, I long for his abilities. The cut and dry aspect of his job where “Hey this no longer hurts.” means the job is complete. Listening to the techniques and knowledge that he is working with, I am inspired and sometimes I feel a little shattered inside. Just because the stories that are coming from my end of the conversation aren’t nearly as miraculous, awe inspiring, and life changing.

Maybe you have never known anyone that has had the gift of healing, but I’m sure you can imagine that sometimes the vicinity of that gift might make you feel a little broken; or maybe act broken; or maybe just more aware of your brokenness. Sort of like finding out your long time friend is a practicing clinical psychologist, and thinking to yourself as you talk to her “I wonder if she thinks I am fucked up?” I also think it also is the draw of power. When someone can make you whole, there is great power in that.  It also has the potential to draw a crowd. People who want healing, and people who want the gift. The group of people that are gathered around the guru to fix them so that they may be like the guru. They are there because of what this guru will give them by proxy. When I listen to my friend I am enchanted. I long to have my eyes opened where God and magic are in the air.

I think that might be why a first century home in Capernaum was packed to the hilt. There was someone who would make you whole there. He was in town. He was at Gary’s house. This healer was the eye of the vortex in which God and Magic swirled. Jesus, the person who was at the apex of the healing of the earth was at Gary’s house.

Near him floated his group. People that had gone out in his name and banished the dark forces that were housed within people. Healed their sick. And forgave peoples sins with common water, not with a burnt offering from the temple. The disciples did what Jesus did. But at Gary’s house was the real deal. Not someone who was close to him. The guy himself.

Gary’s house was packed. People wanted to be there for all sorts of reasons: maybe they had a bad back, there was a dude that would go into epileptic convulsions, most of them were there because of a rash. Some were there to watch the show. They wanted to see if it was true. Some of them were there because they were looking for a story. And others were there because they wanted to put an end to the hocus pokus.

Four weeks previous, three roofers were working. Sil, Tony, and Jesse were good friends, and their families hung out a lot. Their kids played together. Though he was usually very careful, Tony slipped and fell about 20 feet. He landed on his neck, crushing two of the 7 cervical vertebrae resulting in paralysis. Sil and Jesse did what they could to help out their friend, but it was getting to be a huge burden, and caused several fights in their home.

The two roofers found out about Jesus arriving at Gary’s house. Could it be that this man had the power to heal Tony? They had to find out. They got two of the people in their roofing company, and played hooky from their job to see. Carrying their friend was slow going though; and they got there late. The place was packed. There was no room for them. They couldn’t get their friend close. There was just too many people. That was when Sil looked up. The roof, of course! Back then the shingling was somewhat pliable, whether it was thatching or whatever. A skilled roofer could peel up the roof and enter through there. Sil and Jesse did their job, scaled the wall and peeled up the roof, secured Tony’s pallet with a rope, levered it from the main beam and lowered their paralyzed friend down into the living room to where Jesus stood. Perched atop of the ceiling the four looked down to see this:

Jesus looked up and was dazzled by Sil and Jesse’s efforts. He then looked into Tony’s eyes and smiled. Then came something they didn’t expect. "Son, I forgive your sins."

 Sil slipped. His grip on the ceiling beam re-clenched to prevent himself from plummeting on top of Jesus from 20 feet up.”What?” He thought as he was about to witness something incredible. Instead  of his friend becoming whole. his sins were forgiven? Some religion scholars sitting there started whispering among themselves, "He can't talk that way! That's blasphemy! God and only God can forgive sins."

Sil hardly cared about Tony’s sins, but he was disappointed that this was the route the healing would go.

 Jesus knew right away what they were thinking, and said, "Why are you so skeptical? Which is simpler: to say to the paraplegic, 'I forgive your sins,' or say, 'Get up, take your stretcher, and start walking'? Well, just so it's clear that I'm the Son of Man and authorized to do either, or both . . ." (he looked now at the paraplegic), "Get up. Pick up your stretcher and go home." And Tony did.—he got up, grabbed his stretcher, and walked out, with everyone there watching him. They rubbed their eyes, incredulous—and then praised God, saying, "We've never seen anything like this!"

Last week we talked about the things that we do to maintain our life rather than heal it. Some of us have identified certain things that act like the oxygen tank, maintaining our stabilization, but communicating the death to come. Some of us have, as of this week, begun practicing things that will promote healing and pull us out of stabilization into thriving.

It is my hope today that we become people who in their entirety communicate the health and vitality of God. And it is my thought that it begins and is replicated by the same means Tony received healing on that day he was lowered from the roof.

Through forgiveness of our sins.

We do not use the word “sin” much here because it has taken on a manipulative, and condescending air to it. Where, when the word sin is used, it automatically creates a one up one down relationship where peers don’t exist and only the righteous and the failed begin. You may have heard the definition of sin as sidesteps on account of pain. Where you are doing your best to dodge the bullets coming at you. And your dodges are usually using others as a human shield. This world shoots its bullets fast and hard, and we are doing our best not to get hit. Sin is our attempt at OUR stabilization. And much of our time our best means is accomplished by throwing others under the bus. Have you experienced being thrown in front of someone’s life bullets? Have you done the throwing.

We have seen the billboard:” Jesus came to forgive sins.” And it has been trivialized, and billboardized into a joke. Because the agenda of those wielding the sign has not been to move in forgiveness but rather move in judgment of sin. Really, do you have to tell me that shooting the man was messed up? Really you have to tell me that the rape was something God didn’t like? The people holding the sign on the street have not been interested in healing those around them with forgiveness, but rather taking up the sign to promote their own self righteousness and purity of thought. How sad that the message coming from those who hold the sign is “think the way I do and you will feel good about yourself as well”. Talk about an oxygen tank. Take this Tylenol and you won’t feel the pain. Believe what I believe and you will be so occupied with trying to convince people you are right that you will be so distracted that you wont be able to take part in the words you are carrying.  If only they heard the message of their sign. That they are to look in the eyes of the person with paralysis and relieve them of the terrible atrocities they committed to their fellow man just by living.

The time they cut that friend out of their life, forgiven, the time they used that other person because they were feeling bad about themselves, forgiven, The time they gave that man the bird for cutting them off in traffic, forgiven, the time they manipulated that person to get their way, forgiven, the time they got revenge, forgiven, the time they were cold to the person who deserved it, forgiven, the time the person didn’t hold the same belief structure… also forgiven.

Jesus purposely didn’t set up a government, because he saw that a heart that is poised for good, governs itself. You don’t need to extrapolate what would happen if all criminals were forgiven, you just need to start where you live.

When Jesus taught us to pray, he was clear about the mark of someone who was going to embark on healing the world. Not just the stabilizing it. He said “‘And forgive us our debts (our sins, our trespasses), as we also have forgiven our debtors (sinners, and trespassers).

In a time in which the temple held the monopoly on God’s forgiveness through burnt offerings, John and Jesus used common Jordan water to communicate the availability of forgiveness for all.

We may want the ability to restore healing to the body. We may want the magic that was swirling within Gary’s house in Capernaum that day of Tony’s healing. The thing is: we do. It has been trivialized and beaten on all sides so it is a joke to those who hear it. But if you have ever experienced confessing to someone your sins, and had them listen and say “I forgive you.”  And not hold it against you … but continue to be your friend. You know how life changing it is. The weight lifts. The wet cement that you are breathing dissipates. Perhaps that is the reality that Tony felt that day, initially his arms and legs refused to move. Yet his soul was saying “I AM FREE.”

Who do you need to forgive today? Who needs to be let off the hook? How do you need to be let off the hook? Consider that Jesus came to forgive you. How does that feel? What if you were to give that to someone else? The stranger. The spouse. The enemy. What if healing started with a blank slate? And maybe a smile.

Oh that we might become a people who have the ability to peer through the veneer of those around us and offer the thing that will provide our life to thrive. That we may do the hard work of not holding on to our pride to say that we are above being wrong, and ask for a pardon for our seemingly small injustices to our fellow man. Oh that we may take up the Godly work of setting down the offense and forgiving those around us, especially the hard cases. That we may see each other as peers and workers in developing a new world, one that lays down the sword and works together in the field with the plowshares.

Grace is god working, healing and moving. Today consider taking up the banner of forgiveness so that our world will be healed.

The Gospel of Dr.Suess

One day God said this is what I will do
I will send down my son I will send him to you
to clear up this humpity bumpity hulibalu

His Name will be Christ
and he'll never wear shoes
His pals will all call him the King of the Jews

He didn't come in a plain He didn't come in jeep
He didn't come in the pouch of a high jumping voveep.
He rode on the back of a black sassatu
Which is the blackiest creature you ever could view

He stood on a mound
which is a pile of ground
and people gathered around
without making a sound
thus he spake:

do unto others as they do unto you
that includes you young Timothy Foo

A Pharisee said to another he knew

Sin in socks socks full of sin,
How do we silence this Jahovadeedin

Lets wash him in wine and get him all clean
and into Sam Zittles Cruxifixion machine.

Twirl the Gawhirl and Release the Gableeze
and in go the nails just as quick as you please.

And it is said that he said as he bled.
Forgive them father for they know not what they do
then he closed his eyes and his life said adieu.

His friends said this is not good, this is not right
This man was a city on a hill with a light
He was to topple the plight of the mighty uptight
A young actor said "he did cure my stage fright"

For 3 days they grieved, and they grieved and they grieved
they achieved no relief in their grief grief grief grief.

Sunday the sun shown, and Mary alone
found the tombstone thrown, not a bone in the zone, nor Jesus prone,
so she let out a groan.
And O did that lone moan drone.

"Why are you sad, whom do you seek?"
said a voice that she thought was gardener Zeek
turning around with tears on her cheek
she peaked her beak at something that was hard to contrive
There saying "Mary" was Jesus ALIVE!

Tell the Blambetts, the Dutzers, the Gringles, the Snaries,
All the friends on the plains and the ones on the prairies.
That my raised self is the hope of new world to be
That you will create with your new eyes you see.
And he opened her eyes, and opened your heart too
so that she and others can live in-between two worlds old and a new
God watered the broken dry ground that was hardened
In an effort to welcome us all back to the garden

And the message it spread, and it spread, spread, spread, spread,
that Jesus the King was no longer dead.

 (adapted from this sketch by Kids in the Hall)

Slime: When Does Right Become Wrong?

We all have some slime that we hold. Most of it is in our nose. I remember as a kid having a cold and blasting out one of those sneezes that shot out a rope of snot at least a foot in length and running to my mom. Horrified, she tried to take care of it while at the same time dodging its infectious tendrils.

Slime has a protective quality to only the one using it. The rest of those who are in its trail, only seem to be marked and grossed out by its glistening path.

I found out last week that marked someone with my glistening path of slime about 3 years ago. The person was mature enough to maintain a relationship with me long enough to confront me about it. Unfortunately it took this long for this person to feel comfortable with me enough to let me know. When you hear the story you will see why it would take so long. The scenario was retold to me like this: I had just spoken at church on a subject that was specifically difficult for this person, and very much as usual, I used humor, and coarse language to try to get my point across. Well, in this case it didn’t sit well with this person. There was too much going on to just let it brush off their back. I’m not sure when they brought me aside, whether it was that week or a week later, but I remember it not being awkward. It was here that they told me the problem that they had with what I said: they said that the joking manner was hurtful and unkind, that the nature of the talk made them feel like they were in an unsafe place, and made them feel ashamed of the Bridge.

As they re-approached me three years later with the original confrontation, they offered up my response. To hear my words back from this person 3 years later was very much like if I were to hear about a time I aimed and fired a sneeze right at them. No matter how much it was a defensive mechanism to stop something from entering my nose that would make my body sicker, it still was a brutal attack of unwanted slime. And sure enough what I heard was that: “I prayed about what I was talking about, and I felt that this was appropriate for me to share, so… sorry”
And even though I said sorry, this was not an apology- or a listening for that matter. It was a defensive dismissal. It was the banana slug numbing the mouth of the confronter. And though what I said might have been an accurate portrayal of my snapshot of reality, it did nothing for the human who was now DISMISSED IN GOD’S NAME.

Because what I had pulled out was the ultimate in slime. It would be one thing if I simply dismissed this person by saying: ”Tough luck. My humor is my humor. Deal with it!” They could easily say. “well, the guy’s a douche…now I know.” But no, I pulled the pastor trump card: “God told me.”

“God told me” is the ultimate in responsibility pass off. And though it may be that scripture inspires much of what is good in the world. Most of what we see when people use the “God told me” phrase is: their excuse to not have compassion on the humanity that is right next to them. They shoot out the protective slime of “a higher power” so that they don’t have to experience the difficulty of working it out. “God told me YOU ARE A SINNER”…”God told me that what I had to say this Sunday was right, and your reaction was wrong”…”God told me it was important for me to hijack an airplane and drive it into a building.” When taken to this level it is clear that the monstrous use of “God told me” excuses the user from thinking about the actions they are taking to bulldoze the people next to them.

Let me be clear: it is very important to pray, to listen and to have an interactive relationship with God. And that includes obeying things that are difficult that come from your prayer life. However, when we allow those elements to excuse us from listening to or having compassion on those in our vicinity, we have made our right way of acting…wrong.

In Paul’s first Corinthians love chapter he describes how most of us see the whole picture: “Now we see in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I have been known” We all only see a little bit of the big picture… Sometimes we use our slime to pretend we know more that we really know. And eventually (like three years later) it shows.


I remember a story of another sliming that occurred.

A farmer was down on his luck. Crops weren’t growing, and there were several situations where his prize livestock were dying. Things were not going well on the farm. The,n as if things weren’t going bad enough, his children were in the grange hall discussing what needed to be done with the farm’s losses, when a storm came in an toppled the building. The farmer’s children were all crushed in the fallen rubble. All of them! Now I’m not sure if the level of loss contributed to what happened next, but in this farmer’s mourning, he began to develop a skin irritation that began to get worse. It quickly spread like a cancer over his entire body. It was painful and not getting better. People used to envy this great farmer and family man; now when they saw his boiled skin, they shuddered.

A couple of his friends came over and sat with him. What a picture! A friend coming to simply mourn; to sit and be with the afflicted. Sometimes that’s the only thing you can do. And it is the right thing to do. When someone loses their livelihood, children, or health, sometimes the best thing to do is simply sit with them. Listen to them. That’s all. What a gift to give your precious time to simply BE with someone.
However soon one of the friend’s map of reality got the best of him. In the time that he was sitting with his friend Job, he simply wasn’t focusing on the guy with a skin issue next to him. Rather, he was trying to piece together why someone who had so much, so quickly was decimated with nothing? His reality map told him that much of what happened to this man was far beyond unfortunate circumstances. Perhaps he was an insurance assessor that had to check the “act of God” box on his assessment of Job’s losses. Regardless, the situation demanded further exploration… because these repercussions could be personal. What did Job do to get into this mess? What did Job do to deserve all this? These became the important questions… because he definitely didn’t want to do whatever Job did.

So out of the silence one of the “friends” pipes up with his protective slime: “Hey Job? What did you do to deserve all this?”

Job’s answer was “nothing.”

Though an inquiry isn’t out of the question, there are times that are appropriate for mapping out cosmic reality… like college after drinking; and other times that are not. When someone has just lost their livelihood, family, and now their health; it isn’t your chance to learn from their mistakes. It is your chance to be kind, to mourn with them about the loss of their kids, to shake your head at the injustice of death, and sickness. It is your chance to encourage them to shake their fist at God asking why!?! It is your chance to be on their side. Be Sad. Be Angry. But to argue with them on how they MUST have done SOMETHING to receive such a blow from the heavens is just plain mean. He lost his children! He has skin cancer! It is not time for a teaching moment of a slimy interpretation of reality.

When we allow our interpretation of how things work trump our compassion and listening ear, we have made what we believe is right… wrong.


I received a more subterraneous sliming a year and a half ago. It was disguised as hope.
My dad had just lost the battle with a very personal form of cancer. He was very articulate lawyer who was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was growing on the speech center of the brain. As a result, my dad was trapped in his own mind. He could hear perfectly, come up with his answer, yet couldn’t communicate- his own personal hell. People thankfully were compassionate, and didn’t ask Job’s friends questions, they understood it was a time to mourn.
In September of2010 my dad died.
In my head I tried to relieve myself by saying “all dads die.” But making my dad into a statistic did no justice to the fact that all the rest of those dads weren’t my dad. And that I no longer had MY DAD. It was appropriate to feel the loss of that person in your life, and not dismiss it by adding it to the masses.

I heard many things during this time: I’m sorry for your loss. He was a great man. It’s better this way. You really can’t say the right thing to someone who is mourning. It all is a stupid, no win, piece of communication. Personally I think I would have just preferred a few who would come around me and sit.

It was here I got the hope slime – He’s so much happier now. At least you can rest assured that he is in a better place.

Now, I understand this map of reality. What is being said is: after you die, you go to heaven… and heaven is so much better than living here on earth.

But here’s my problem: I no longer have my father; so you telling me that I need to be happy about something that just happened is not helpful. On top of that, I might be able to understand if you said something like this if a child just moved out of the house and went to college; or if your co-worker just got promoted to a higher paying job with a nicer boss and great benefits. Though you can be sad that the change occurred, you actually can accurately see that “YES they are in a better place.” You can call them up and ask “is the grass greener over there?” You can see what they are posting on facebook. There is so much to validate this hopeful statement that they are in a better place.

On the other hand, telling someone to be happy for their dead father because he just got promoted to heaven… is severing the mourning process. It belittles the loss that the person living must come to terms with. It allows you not to be safe for the person mourning. They have to smile and wince with you in the room because you won’t allow for your vision of reality to include the pain and injustice that death holds within it. There is an injustice to death. There is a sting to death. And telling a child who just received a bee sting to have faith that the sting will go away is a brutal neglect of the task at hand. It’s time to tend to the wound. Comfort. See where it hurts. And be kind.

I know a majority believe in an afterlife of some kind. I have found that sometimes that knowledge anesthetizes us from thinking about the injustice and loss that is involved with death. I recently learned that historically, an understanding of a Heaven after you die is a more recent phenomenon. Rather, Christians and Jews during Jesus’ time believed in resurrection. They felt that death was an injustice that God, being a good, just God, would make Right. I was surprised to learn that when Jesus told the thief on the cross next to him, that “today you will be with me in paradise.” This was not heaven as we think of it today. But rather … early Christians believed that this was a place where God held those, until the resurrection, when all things would be made right.

I throw this out there because it was helpful for me to realize that I could be sad about my dad dying. That there were other, more substantial thoughts of hope at play within my faith, and I did not have to shut off my mourning process. If we do have a hope that God will make things right in the end, it is more important that we act in compassion today; and not just bulldoze someone who is grieving with a statement that shortcuts the real loss that they have experienced.

Just because it is uncomfortable to cry, mourn, hurt, be sad, be angry, be devastated; doesn’t mean we have to legitimize our wincing faces with a slimy God excuse of hope. It is not Godly to shortcut pain, and force others to be steamrolled in Jesus Name. Rather we must take into consideration the person next to us OVER our map of who God is. God can defend himself. The person in pain next to you needs comfort from the sting. They need you to not slime them with your questions about their mental ascent. They don’t need you to be right in your picture on how things work… they need you to be right there.

This even is important in the small things. I remember an action that was cut short in my marriage for the better. I don’t remember what happened… but I was right. In my wisdom I communicated to Crystal “I told you so.” And I’m sure it was done with absolute compassion (sarcasm is dripping from this statement.) It only took once to realize what was coming back at me. Crystal questioned me appropriately “How does it feel to be right?” My answer melted underneath itself.. “Good?...” My lesson was this: when my “right” is used against others it becomes a wrong.

Today, I wish to encourage you to be the kind of friends that will look beyond our unclear view of God and what is RIGHT, and consider that compassion for others and being a friend who listens is more important than being right. If I listened to that person who was saying they were hurt, if Job had friends that could simply sit with him, if I had a community that sought to grieve with me over the need to depict an afterlife to me, and if I could only have compassion for those around me… my right would stay right. Because I chose to cover my nose with a tissue, rather that slime the person with my need to protect myself.