This morning, have quite a task in front of me. I want to expose the truths of the pearly gate Joke. You know what I’m talking about: “the pearly gate joke” where someone dies and goes outside the pearly gates of heaven and Peter is there… you know St. Peter, The apostle Peter, Petra the rock… not the wrestler, the fisherman.
You know how it goes: A minister dies and, resplendent in his clerical collar and colorful robes, waits in line at the Pearly Gates. Just ahead of him is a guy dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Green, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list, smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff, and enter into the Kingdom."
So the taxi-driver enters Heaven with his robe and staff, and the minister is next in line. Without being asked, he proclaims, "I am Michael O'Connor, head pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list and says, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the preacher, "that man was a taxi-driver, and you issued him a silken robe and golden staff. But I get wood and cotton. How can this be?"
"Up here, we go by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept -- while he drove, people prayed."
There are biblical truths wrapped up in these jokes people. And this morning I feel like I need to expose the secrets of eternity wrapped up in what we know as the Pearly Gate Joke. Just so you know where I’m coming from:
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to
tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today,
and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly
horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife
has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her
red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something
was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy
could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough,
there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground!
By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him,
but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into
my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers.
Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell --
but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay.
I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge
and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly.
But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died
there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full,
and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment
building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony.
Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge.
But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me.
I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto
the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and
kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed
a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got
lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was
thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky
and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that
heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."
If you’ve heard the pearly gate joke, you might have thought to yourself… “Is this true? When I die will I be standing outside the pearly gates, feet resting upon fluffy clouds, staring face to face at St Peter? Will he ask me hard biblical questions that I won’t know the answers to?” Maybe you haven’t thought of the overarching importance associated with the pearly gate joke before. Well let me enlighten you.
The Pearly Gate Joke was developed in the early 14th century during the papacy of Leo the 10th. It was originally developed to try to make the monks laugh uncontrollably and therefore break their vow of silence. Some key priests who desired to rule different monasteries would target those who were very devout (as well as very quiet) and recite the most famous of Pearly Gate Joke “un dado dei tre uomini e va a cielo” (translated three men die and go to heaven). When the monks broke their vow of silence and laughed uncontrollably, the priests then would report it to big man Leo and begin their process of takeover. Incidentally, it was the malicious use of the pearly gate joke and the need for the church to consider what was happening in this very dark time that led to Luther’s 95 thesis to be created in 1517.
The Pearly gate joke’s biblical context as we know is Matthew 16:13-20. Turn in your bibles please.
13 Now when Jesus came into the parts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, "Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?" 14 They said, "Some say John the Baptizer, some, Elijah, and others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets." 15 He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" 16 Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." 17 Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. 18 I also tell you, that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my assembly, and the gates of death will not prevail against it. 19 I will give to you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven, and whatever you will bind on earth will be bound in heaven; and whatever you will loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
Now despite the notorious roots stemming from the origin of the pearly gate joke, you will probably be able to see in context how the pearly gate joke got its theology. Here, due to his confession, St. Peter is given the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Now, the evil priests in the early 14th century postulated that if Peter was given (by Jesus) the keys to the pearly gates of the kingdom of heaven, as well as given the authority to bind and loose, he must be the gate keeper. So (they thought) what hilarity will ensue when someone dies and meets old peter up there? The fun never ends. And the jokes have been coming ever since.
We’re a new breed however. Over the ages, like a fine limburger, the evil thought patterns associated with the pearly gate joke have dissipated. And bubbling up to the surface is a fine fragrance of laughter. But like any other tradition, we need to be weary of its roots. We must know truly what Matthew 16 is saying otherwise we could have this tradition trump our thoughts on what these gates and keys are, and what peter has to do with it.
So what is going on in Matt 16? Something very pivotal. Jesus asked the disciples “who do you say I am?”
The only adequate answer to the question put by Jesus was given by Peter in the words “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Peter knew that Jesus was not just another in the long line of prophets to whom the living God had spoken in many and various ways in the past, but the Son of that living God who knew, as only such a Son could know, the mind and purposes of His Father. Jesus was well aware that this great confession was not made by Peter on the spur of the moment as if he had been ‘stung by the splendor of a sudden thought’. Nor was he voicing a second-hand opinion learned from some other creature of flesh and blood. On the contrary, ever since the day when he stood before Jesus and felt compelled to say ‘Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord’, and yet in spite of that reluctance had found himself irresistibly led to respond to Jesus’ call and leave his nets and follow Him, during all the time that he had witnessed his Master’s mighty works and listened to the words of eternal life that fell daily from His lips, the living God, the God who acts and intervenes in the affairs of men, had been leading him to see that Jesus was indeed His Son. (Tyndale New Testament Commentary on Matthew)
This is Peter’s confession. And it is this confession that causes a whole host of information and gifts from Jesus. You get to be a part of a church, you get some keys, you get to be able to tell what’s of god and what’s not.
Who do you think Jesus is? Is your confession the same as Peter’s? If it’s not, be honest with yourself why. Is it because you simply don’t see it, or did you have someone’s actions lock you out of the pearly gates?
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven.
While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the
Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting around were her parents
and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw
her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello! How are you! We've been
waiting for you! Good to see you!"
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful
place! How do I get in?
"You have to spell a word", Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled LOVE and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About three years later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to
watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the
Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman
said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.
"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were
ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in
and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the
world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski
hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word", the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
~~
"Czechoslovakia."
Do we have the power to lock the gate? According to the bible our actions can stand in the way of people entering heaven. The evil priests in their desire to control the monasteries in the early 14th century locked people out of the gates. This idea of frauds manipulating and blocking access to the gates of heaven is spoken about in Matthew 23. But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because you shut up the Kingdom of Heaven against men; for you don't enter in yourselves, neither do you allow those who are entering in to enter. It then goes on to describe how they do this by concentrating on money in place of charity, dishonesty in the place of honesty, as well as control, and the adherence of rules above mercy and justice.
I ask again: “is your understanding of Jesus based on the messed up nature of someone in the faith?” Have they stiff armed you with the mandate of religious expression, when all you needed was mercy? If this is the case, I’m sorry. Nothing is sadder or more detrimental in its results than the perversion of religion. Like a cancer that moves through ones body taking over and maligning a physical expression of who you are; replacing the charity, the mercy, and the common sense of God’s love with greed, control, and fear is one of the most grievous killers of non, new and old believers alike.
Its no wonder that Jesus with great emphasis said Mt 18:6 "… whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in Me--it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea!" We need our religion to reflect the nature of God for who He is, and who He has revealed himself to be. We can’t have our faith exist to make us feel comfortable. The moment you are not challenged in this house, is the moment that you need to consider if this is the right place for you. Are we enabling you to not express yourself through charity, through mercy, or through love? There’s plenty to do. There are plenty of people around to get to know and love. In fact there are probably some new people that you haven’t told your story to.
That reminds me of a story of a good deed one guy did.
A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven.
There are some criteria before entry is allowed.
For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No?
St. Peter told him that's bad.
Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No?
St. Peter told him that that too was bad.
Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No?
St. Peter was becoming concerned. Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime.
Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!"
The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face".
"Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"?
"Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man.
Jesus told Peter he is blessed because he knew who he was. And because of that he will get the keys to the kingdom of heaven and be able to see what is of God and what isn’t. (bind and loose) But what are these keys that Jesus talks about here? I have an idea of perhaps what one of these keys is to the gates of heaven. And no, I don’t think it’s just Peter who has them, but anyone who confesses that Jesus is the Christ. One key that I know opens up the heart of eternity… is your story. Your story is something that carries with it great anguish, difficulty, and hardship. The truth and honesty of where you’ve been and where you are and what you’ve learned is something that is truly real. We all live in this world of difficulty. But as you begin to share your story, what you’ve learned, and who you are today, something happens. The person who is interested in your story begins to have knowledge of your journey. There are parts of your story that might be confusing, but there are parts of your story that have the potential to unlock a piece of eternity for that person. Say you have a story about giving, say you have a story of hope, say you have a story that isn’t finished yet but even that tension holds the mystery of the living God.
In your world of death, you have been given a word of life. Your word of life is your key to opening the gates of heaven to those around you. We have the power to stand in the way of these pearly gates or even lock them up so no one can get in. But God is calling us to something different this morning. Not hiding behind religious talk and the need to mold others into our comfort zone, rather, God is calling us to view the world of death that continues to surround us in full honesty. And begin to tell our story of those instances in which we have been rescued, saved, or even seen the fabric of eternity. For it is these words of life that will unlock a glimmering portal to another world: a world that holds context to a loving God who views you in midst of your world of death and says “I will take these dry bones and make them live!”
Incidentally this is the final thought in the core values of the Bridge. “share what we have learned with anyone who is interested.” This goes for us sharing what we do at the bridge with other churches, businesses, and people in general. But my take on it this morning is the only way for us to really get a good picture of who God is and the Kingdom that we’re a part of, we must hear each other’s story. Our story is our key to those ever fabled pearly gates. But your story is not your key, its mine, and when I listen to you, those gates will open that much more.
Thanks for listening. Please stick around and hear someone’s story.
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