Life Beyond Mere Profession

I talked to a friend a while ago who had just finished getting a divorce from a huge clusterfuck of a marriage. He had just come from Las Vegas and he told me. Geoff I’ve been really bad. But it’s been really good. He did all the things that need to stay in Vegas. Hookers, drugs, you name it. And the guy could afford it as well. Now this guy has had a hard past, but he also went to seminary and has a degree in theology. He knows all the ins and outs of the Trinity, and systematic Christology. He believes the right things, but is this translating into a With God Life?

I talked to another person a while ago who is a minister of Christianity. He believes it, and he would be the first to tell you so. And boy is he orthodox! He knows all of the creeds and the reason behind the creeds, and would be the first to call you out if you said something off. There’s nothing wrong with this until you get in a room with him. You see, it seems his need for correct doctrine stems from a deeper insecurity. Years ago he was rejected by a church several times, and one of the reasons for them rejecting him he has concluded is because they were heretical. So … “he will never be like THEM.” “He will never believe wrong things again.” Today he has a problem socially. He leers at women, and creeps them out. He is usually oblivious to it, yet there are some people that have been hurt by his obliviousness. His friends make excuses for him saying “well that’s just him... you have to look around his bull in a china shop behavior.“ Yet there have been instances in which those pieces of china have been people that he has broken. His strong desire to convey a message, is not exactly to convey a message, but to be “right”… to feel good about what he is putting out. He believes the right things, but is this translating into a With God life.

We all know them. The Hippocrites. The ones who say and know all of the right advice, but really gross us out when it comes to their life. The people that we know are “smart” but their life is ugly. They are the epitome of Irony. Like rayeyain on your wedding day. The ethics professor that treats the custodian with contempt. They are the ones who would say “I know the right way to live”, yet when you apply the magnifying glass you see that they don’t really practice it. They believe in Jesus, yet They are the THEY that we talk about who give love a bad name. The fish bumpersticker that just cut us off or flipped us the bird. What are your stories of some hippocrites that you know?

They believe in Jesus, yet is this translating into a With God Life?

Some have allowed their belief in Jesus to give them license for their perpetuated wrong doing. And in their wrongdoing the With God Life has vanished. Some have allowed their belief in who Jesus is stop them from being kind so that they can be “right.” And in their anger or meanness the With God Life has vanished. They are the professors of Christianity, without the chutzpah to witness to his light. They are the city set on a hill without electricity.

It’s in this vien that I agree with Thomas a Kempis who says “It’s better to have contrition then to be able to define it.” The definition of Contrition by the way is: the sincere remorse for wrongdoing. Just so you know I am not anti intellectual. I think it is a great thing to understand God, and Theology. Some people maintain that you can’t know about God, but I would maintain that those people haven’t read the bible. I am also orthodox in my thinking and I think that it is important to maintain that. But When we are confronted by believers who don’t take on the traits of their heavenly father, It makes me ask what is it that Causes the With God life? Can it be done? Some people don’t think it can… especially our hippocrite friends. I think it can, but I think you need to add something to your mere profession of Jesus as Lord.

Now these stories are good examples of hippocrites. But to some extent they may be a little unfair. I am sure if you applied the right magnifying glass to my life, and phrased it properly, at certain times in my life I would make this list as well. It’s easy to throw the “RUINERS of the CHURCH” under the bus. But then I ask us who are so eager to throw stones. Are WE living the “With God Life.” It’s for sure that our hippocrite friends are not living up to the eternal life standards that Jesus talked about. But Are we?

We know how to live. They don’t.

There were some people who knew how to live. They were Godly people. They knew the ten commandments. They knew that one shouldn’t commit adultary. They knew that that was bad behavior. They saw a guy living it up with prostitutes in Vegas and knew that he wasn’t living the With God Life. And it is to these “knowledgeable ones” that Jesus is talking to when he says this in Matthew 5

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Jesus ups the anti and gives them (the people who know the right way to live) something more intense than prostitutes in Vegas. More than adultary, the cultivation of lust is equally bad. Then he goes into underlying the need to participate in mutilation for heavenly purposes. Some have used this teaching to allow them to boast in not seeing a women for years. Some have used this teaching to justify self mutilation. Some have used this teaching to hate their body, and wish it dead saying “One day I will be rid of my body and its EVIL FLESH.”

But… Just so you know Jesus wasn’t adding a more intense law to the ten commandments, he doesn’t function in rules to live by… he functioned in teaching. He wasn’t advocating not seeing women, or even mutilating yourself. BUT HE SAID IT… He was teaching in a manner that would show the people what was behind the commandment. You see the God followers at the time wanted others to participate in THEIR lifestyle. But Jesus knew that their lifestyle was empty. It was a life of good intentions but a life absent of love. He went overthetop into mutilation to show their lack of understanding about the kingdom of the heavens. He showed them. If you think all it takes is not doing the wrong thing to get into heaven, you’ve missed it. He shows this by being jacose. Say your eye or your evil arm causes you to sin. Well remove it and you will roll into heaven a bloody stump! YAY you’ve made it to heaven because you didn’t do anything wrong! GETTING INTO HEAVEN isn’t about doing the right thing, or not doing the wrong thing. Doing the right thing is a simple outflow of a life within the Kingdom. If you are loving your nieghbor you are not lusting them, nor are you diddling them with your hand. This was a jolting teaching just like it is today. He is saying to become the kind of person who lives within the kingdom of heaven, you aren’t worried about doing anything wrong lustfully because you are interested in loving your neighbor. What’s behind Thou shalt not commit adultary, is loving your nieghbor. That is life in the Kingdom of the heavens.

But some people say “I can’t help it.” I pray and I pray and I continue to “struggle with lust”

And it is in that vien that they agree with Paul who says in Romans 7

For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.

There are a couple things that come into play here. Spirit, Law, Flesh, Sin

Spirit - is the unbodily personal power, the life from above, that comes from God.

Law - is the law of love, the law of loving God and Neighbor.

Sin - is living your life in a manner in which you do not love God or your neighbor.

Flesh – This is the one that people get confused about:

"Flesh," on Paul’s understanding, consists of the natural human abilities, considered in themselves and on their own, unaided by Divine assistance and direction. Flesh is not necessarily bad, and it certainly is not "fallen or sinful human nature." Which is how some bible translations interpret it. For one thing, it is not human nature, but only one part of it. For another it is not essentially sinful, fallen, or bad. It is a good creation of God, and needs only to be kept to its proper function in life before God.

In galations 4 Paul explains this by using the example of Hagar and Sarah. "the son of bondswoman (Hagar) was born according to the flesh" (Gal. 4:23)—that is, from normal human abilities. You guys understand the Birds and the bees that’s how Ishmael was born. But "the son of the freewoman" (Sarah) was born through the promise and action of God, along with her and Abraham’s normal human abilities. Spirit and flesh.

So our flesh isn’t inherantly bad. It’s a creation that when coupled with God’s spirit can make for beauty. The problem comes in when we, like Abraham, go about making it happen on our own.The "mind set on the flesh" is death paul says in romans 8, because it draws upon natural human abilities alone, not upon the gracious actions of God in our life. That is why in Galations 6 Paul says Those who invest solely in their flesh get back only "corruption" for that is the only outcome of natural human abilities on their own, dominated by their desires. To be corrupt means to be broken into pieces, to perish through internal disintegration.

And that is the main weekness of the flesh: its internal desires. When you don’t have the spirit and the law of love guiding your way, you only will hear from your desires. And they are LOUD, and twist your understanding of what is right and what is wrong. Some of your flesh desires are healthy. It’s important to eat. Important to sleep. Others are not so healthy. It’s not cool to sell your child into slavery for instance. Yet if someone is hard up for money, it has been done.

I had another friend who really messed with a lot of people because of his stated desires trumping his understanding of God’s law of love. He is a christian. Involved in a church. And has a faith very much like all of us. He also had a fantasy that if he could have two women at once, he would take it. Well the opportunity lent itself and he took it, as a result he hurt his marriage, his relationship with his friends. And now he can say he’s been with two women. YAY. And I’m sure he says today that Jesus has forgiven him. Some of his friends are not so forgiving.

And that’s how the flesh moves into internal disintegration. If we only rely on our natural human abilities, there will be a point in which our desires will be more interested in what we want than the over all good. Our flesh will be poised to do evil if necessary to fulfill what it wants. 2 women? what would you do for a million dollars? how about wanting someone dead? This is life without spirit and God’s law.

It is in this capacity that the law is contrary to the flesh. It allows us a guide for loving each other. The desire of having sex with anyone, then rubs up against God saying, hey maybe human intimacy means a little bit more than that. The desire for the person in the car in front of you to drop dead, rubs up against you doing unto him what you would have him do unto you.

I think it is here that we are running into the issue of our first hippocrite examples. We have someone saying I love Jesus. But is overrun by their desires so that their life doesn’t reflect that they love Jesus.

Again… we have to remember back to Jesus’ teaching that we are not interested in correct behavior, that is only a byproduct of what happens when someone is living within the Kingdom of God. We are interested in a whole life where love of God and neighbor is the goal. Remember…Why would we choose to lust this person if you could intend the good for them. We don’t want empty behavior. Empty behavior that is good is still empty.

One thing that I’m noticing is that our profession of love of Jesus is somehow converting us, but not moving us to truly live the life from above that Jesus promises. And as a result we love Jesus’ forgiveness because it allows us to maintain our desires as is. Thus we love Jesus for what we get out of the relationship which is a clear conscious, but realistically he is not our Lord.

Don’t get me wrong I am all about conversion. Which is us finally believing that Jesus might be who he said he is. To consider him Lord. To know him as savior and messiah. But I’m pretty sure that many of us can see where someone allowed their conversion to stay put. They profess Jesus as Lord, but in reality their love of their desires trumps their love of God. Their desires are more important than their pursuit of being a part of what God is doing. And that includes being a part of the “right” sort of crowd, called a church.

Could it be that we have allowed our conversion in christianity to stop us from understanding our actual need for transformation. Could it be that our understanding of God needing to save us has allowed us the excuse to do nothing. It is true we cannot do anything without his spirit. But if we do nothing we do that without his spirit as well. Our Flesh’s roll in our own redemption is one that has been swept under the rug. We need to move from Conversion to Transformation. This is difficult and not new.

There was a man called peter who outlines the possibility of such transformation. He shows that it is not impossible, to have our flesh aligning to its natural calling with God’s Holy spirit to create our own little Issac. At the same time, it isn’t an overnight process, it takes Jesus calling him out, his spirit failing due to his weak flesh, through failure, through dilligence, and finally through transformation into the boldness of someone who has the spirit of the easy yolk powering him.

It’s Passover and the disciples are all at a dinner with Jesus. Peter is a convert. He has said to Jesus he knows who he is. The very son of God. And he has been following this guy for quite some time. He is “in” As Heidi Klum might say. Yet his profession and his conversion doesn’t mean that embodied within his flesh is the desire to not go to jail. Embodied within his flesh is the desire to “Do Evil If Necessary.” Even though he is “IN” Very much like paul in Romans 7, there is something that is in it for himself. That he doesn’t want to do, but he do do.And Jesus sees this.
Then Jesus told them, "This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: " 'I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.' But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee." Peter replied, "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will."
"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times."

Regardless of his own profession, and his own zeal, Jesus could see the embodied sin embedded within Peter’s flesh. Peter had a need to make HIS will come about. Jesus had nearly the same will as he prayed in the garden. Yet in his prayer, he relinquished his way, for a better way. But he went to check on the others who were sapposed to be praying with him, he caught them sleeping. He told them "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." This is not a dig, this is a matter of fact statement. They should have prayed as we will see later. Also they really did want to pray, and they really did want to stick up for Jesus. But their flesh was weak from their continued feeding of Their way. Could it be that to give into our fears, and our sin, we weaken our body. Possibly this is what doctors tell us all the time in our checkups.

But why should they pray so they don’t fall into temptation? Well… We see as Judas betrays his Lord with a kiss. The others scatter like Jesus fortold, and Peter sticks around and falls into the temptation of his flesh. He draws his sword and slices the priest’s assistant’s ear. When we don’t have the guidance that comes from prayer and the Spirit, our desires twist our view of right and wrong, into seeing what is good FOR US is right. Our flesh that is Poised to do evil, Poison’s our ability to see the bigger picture. Peter thought what was good was to defend his Lord by force. This was his spirit utilizing his weak flesh. Yet the bigger picture was that Jesus was giving his life freely. And Jesus remedies this “weak intention” by healing the ear. We can obtain guidance by watching and praying so that our intentions are guided by wisdom, and not our twisted desires.

With Peter’s tenacity, we still see his body upholding what he said. “I will not fall away!” And He follows the party. Yet every time he is confronted on his connection to Jesus, his mouth begins following his weak flesh. Denying 3 times before the dawn.

We all make mistakes. Like the bumpersticker says “Christians aren’t perfect… Just forgiven.” But for peter, this was his bottom. He used this realization of his betrayal, to not “JUST BE FORGIVEN.” But there was something more to his Lord that inspired him to be more than the Guy who will sell his friends down the river. Instead of just being that Guy. And finding forgiveness. When Jesus did raise, and Jesus did empower him with the Holy spirit. It was Peter who risked his life to witness to the truth.

His flesh met spirit and transformation occurred. The story is not new obviously.But I do want to point out is that even the demons or pre-pentecost Peter Think Jesus is the son of God. You might think that Jesus is the son of God, You might believe, and you might be baptised in his name. But you cannot rest upon your profession of a truth. If you say Jesus is Lord. Than you must think that he is Lord. You must move in transformation in order to live a With God Life. You must let Spirit meet flesh in order to live a life filled with Love of God and Neighbor. If you rest on your memory of God knowledge you will most definitely be living a life struggling with your desires which is a life of death and guilt. Instead, let your knowledge be a biblical type of “knowing” which means interactive relationship with a living God who promises the easy yolk to the one who has chosen that Jesus is Lord.

Jesus came that you might have life and have it to the full. We must make efforts to rid ourselves of weak flesh that has within it the embodied sin that paul talks about. We can no longer give ourselves license to be poised to do evil. We aren’t interested in our behavior, but are interested in loving our God. We Must make true efforts to move from simple profession, and conversion, into being transformed into the children of the light. This means that as children we have the basic nature of light: that light is our parent and has passed on to us its nature, as any parent does. The apostle John summed up the message that he and his friends had heard from Jesus as this: "God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all." (1st John 1:5)

Now, the people who have moved into the light of Christ are not perfect and do not live in a perfect world—yet. But they are remarkably different. The difference is not one of a pose they strike, either from time to time or constantly, or of things they do or don't do. They are not "performing"—though their behavior too is very different and distinctive. Where the children of light differ is primarily and most importantly on the "inside" of their life. It lies in what they are in their depths, in what they would do and could do.

The only way we can do this is through keeping the importance of this before our minds. To see the urgency behind the need to be a part of God’s Kingdom. This importance is what Jesus means by carrying our cross. Where it is primary, above even our own life. This is most important thing that we can do. To begin disciplining ourselves into christlikeness. Joining our flesh with his spirit. Putting to death our embodied sin which wields our corruptive desires. We can only do that if we see it as the mose important. And our efforts towards transformation will be void unless we desire to seek the kingdom above all our desires.

I noticed recently that there are a lot of scriptures in which Jesus was touching people to heal them. And Paul remarks that the laying on of hands in prayer is a very powerful thing. Then I realized that we do that, but it doesn’t have the same results as they had. It made me ask, is this not happening is because I haven’t made the effort to transform myself into his character. Is it because I haven’t done what peter has asked me to do in his second letter. Where he says that I need to apply all my diligence (how much dilligence does that leave out) to adding virtue to my faith, and in my virtue, I need to add interactive knowledge, and in my interactive knowledge, I need to add self-control, and in my self-control, I need to add perseverance, and in my perseverance, I need to add godliness, and in my godliness, I need to add brotherly kindness, and in my brotherly kindness, I need to add love.

Could it be that if I DID apply all dilligence to these things, that my body would function differently when it is fused with the unbodily personal power of the Holy Spirit. Would laying on of hands actually weild something?

Here’s the deal: I am so excited to Pursue God. To pursue the disciplines of the spirit, and to somehow see change in my life and in my community where I and others are no longer poised to do evil. But to do good, to do right, to do love, to function effortlessly in the law of love because we are wanting something called life in the Kingdom.

I want us to be smart and knowledgeable. But I would rather people know me and our people by the love that they put out, the reflective good that it places towards others for the influence of Good that it does. I don’t need others to ascend to a particular dogma if that dogma is laden with excuses on why we aren’t any different from anyone else.

Today I challenge you to take a look and see if you believe that the kingdom is among us? Do you believe in a risen Christ who urges you on to love and do good and empowers you to do that with living streams of refreshment welling up from inside to power your easy yolk.

Or do you just believe in a Jesus that forgives you of your sins so that you can feel guilty and the next time you do it thus asking for more foregiveness.

Forgiveness is great. But is only the first step toward the turning into the kingdom of life that Jesus has set in front of you today.

To trust Jesus is right. To follow him is right. To allow him to take your profession and conversion and move you into transformation is right. To allow your flesh to meet spirit is devine.

If this is for you… talk to God about what’s next for you. And begin the steps of transformation. I for one have decided to to make efforts so that God’s will and love becomes easy and natural for me.

Will you join me?

What Not To Believe.

The point of this talk was to show the reality in which we live. How our pride is cultivated by our self love and our culture, and enthusiastically distorts our view of what is real. This view denies God's placement as God in our lives and replaces it with us. Which then is held up by a wavering reality that we need in order to keep mentally stable. Yet within this world of self worship we become most interested in what gives our pride the most kick. which is what we see in our world today. (the answer to this in my understanding is letting Jesus redeem all parts of our soul (heart mind body etc), Letting God be God, and moving out of self and into christlikeness)

---

I like to learn. That’s why I watch the learning channel. TLC. This is a channel that got popular with trading spaces. And now airs a show that is very transformational. Every person in there changes from dreadful, to dazzling in one hour. It’s called What not to wear.

Here, Stacy and Clinton sneak up on a person who has been nominated by their family and friends and give this person 5000 dollars to get a new wardrobe and look. They show secret footage in front of their friends of what they have been wearing. And then take them and show them how to dress.

One of the most tearfelt moments is when Stacy and Clinton take them into their 360 mirror. Where they actually show them what they look like. What do they look like? Awful. Yet it is an amazing tool of transformation. Confronting someone in denial with lights, and visuals.

Today I am going to attempt to do the same thing. Now I don’t have 5000 to give you, I have something far more precious.

But my hope is to transform you. By revealing truth. Like the 360 mirror. Tough love. And as a result I’m going to offend you today. I’m not going to offend you by saying fuck or shit. I am going to offend you by poking holes in your pride.

I’m going to do that by saying words that your pride can’t handle. Words like sin, evil, lost, not God and hell. And I’m going to use just those words because I’m exactly what your pride wants me to be. A dick pastor. I’m going to use those words because they’re offensive. They are painted on TV, and in the papers and in social circles as only words that manipulative dick pastors like me would use. And the reason why is: they do what they are sapposed to do. Offend a very delicate house of cards of denial that is destructive, awful, and if it was wearing something it would be close to badfitting spandex from the 80’s.

Psalm 14:2-3 The LORD looks down from heaven on the entire human race; he looks to see if anyone is truly wise, if anyone seeks God. 3 But no, all have turned away; all have become corrupt.[a] No one does good, not a single one!

Let me let you in on my thinking. Last time I spoke to you I gave you a cup of water on behalf of Jesus. It was fresh, cool, and refreshing. Except for the first one that deborah got which was rusty… yick. Today I want to bring out the 360 mirror to show what we are dealing with. We live in a world that is not good. And has created underpinnings to make it stay that way. And it encourages you to stay that way. Some of us are fighting with all that we have. Others are blind.

Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Bible is filled with these passages, they are so depressing. They talk about hating the world. How God hates the wicked and…hell. What a downer. We have people crying and saying they are sinners, can’t people who read the bible just get some self esteme? Why do they talk about evil so much. Evil…

In the bible it is starkly clear and repeated over and over by Moses, Samuel, Paul, John, and Jesus that the human soul is lost. Lost. In a world of where manson can explain his killings through the meaninglessness of life, and even churches find themselves with people cultivating secretive behavior that underlines their lack of christlikeness, we might be able to see a little bit of what God is saying. But it’s just so depressing. Where’s the hope? Where’s the love? Why is God so angry? Jeeesh Bible.

Here’s where hole number one is poked. The bible is stating that the soul is lost, not to depress you, not to make an embarrassing religion out of Christianity. It is stating it because I’m not OK and you’re not OK. We’re all in serious trouble. And that must be our starting point. We are placed in the 360 and told. You aren’t where you need to be.

Denial – usually in some rationalization – is the primary device that humans use to deal with their own wrongness.

I was in journal class and I was spouting off how most of the pastors of the bridge have a type b personality so there is less ego centrism. My friend Rachel who is a masters in psychology gently says to me. Type B's have an ego too. Which really was her way of saying... Geoff you don't really know what you're talking about do you. And ... You have some pride there that you may want to look at.

Denial – usually in some rationalization – is the primary device that humans use to deal with their own wrongness.

We love to hate the pharisees of Jesus time, being people who worried about appearances rather than what was inside, trying to be famous, how they were unable to believe in Jesus because they saught to be honored by each other. They desired to be popular. Yet these people when you look at these traits are not really talking about a pharisical condintion. They are talking about a human condition. We love to hate them the same way I love to hate the people on dateline who aren’t saving the fake baby from the boiling car. But in reality we are the kind of people that would not save the fake baby.

Paul sums it up in Romans 3

"There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one. Their throats are open graves; their tongues keep decieving. The poison of Asps is under their lips. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; detruction and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know. There is no fear of God before their eyes.

This last statement actually goes to the core. The fear of God Proverbs tells us is the beginning of wisdom.

I was in boy scouts and one of my friends thought it would be funny to pee on the electric fence outside the horse park. I thought it would be funny too. I was right. Right when the stream hit the fence he got a shock downstairs that knocked him back and there he was on the ground pissing all over himself. He didn’t have fear of the electric fence. Now he does. Thankfully he's fertile.

Fear is the anticipation of harm. The intellegent person recognizes that his or her well-being lies in being in harmony with God and what God is doing in the “kingdom.” God is not mean, but he is dangerous. It is the same with Electricity and nuclear power. They are not mean, but they are dangerous. One who does not “worry” about God is just not smart (poke). And that’s the point that this proverb is talking about “the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.” (fear of god – poke poke)

True understanding is knowledge of God. (another proverb) Not head knowledge… but having experiential involvement with. Actual engagement of God. This is what brings about true understanding. But it is the lack of involvement with God that leads to life around us. When we aren’t participating with God, we begin wanting something else in our heart, which then deflects our mind, and we create a denial.

Tolstoy wrote There are two Gods, There is the God that people generally believe in – A God who has to serve them (sometimes in very refined ways, say by merely giving them peace of mind). This God does not exist. But the God whom people forget – the God whom we all have to serve – exists, and is the prime cause of our existance and of all that we perceive.

This is life today. We are so interested in being taken care of by our god. The god of our bellies. That we aren’t interested in serving the real one.

The historian of Alcoholics Anonymous titled his work NOT GOD (poke) because that stands as the most important hurdle an addicted person must surmount: to acknowledge, deep in the soul, not being God. No mastery of manipulation and control, at which alcoholics excel, can overcome the root problem; rather, the alcoholic must recognize individual helplessness and fall back in the arms of the Higher Power. “First of all, we had to quit playing God,” concluded the founders of AA; and then allow God himself to “play God” in the addict’s life, which involves daily, even moment by moment, surrender.

The sin (poke poke) of Pride uproots the reality that God is God. Instead pride allows you to function in the denial and the delusion that you are God. You are the great one. So that you can psychologically maintain that house of cards … keep it balenced. As you slowly get more and more lost, bitter, prideful, hard hearted. As an aside, sensuality plays a major part in soul ruin because people worship the creation rather than the creator… sex gives the biggest kick and violence probably comes in second. And most of us arent even aware that worshiping the abs buns, and guns of today are slowly making us into monsters.

CS Lewis in the weight of glory writes that we need “to remember that the dullest and most uniteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare… There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.

When we think of hell (poke poke)… many times we think of it in terms of its outcome. Which is an awful thought. But the condition of lostness is not the same as the outcome. We are not lost because we are going to wind up in the wrong place. We are going to wind up in the wrong place because we’re lost. To be lost is to mean “out of place.” Jesus uses the term Gehenna because it was thought of as the cosmic dump for the irretrievably useless. Do you know what would it mean if your soul was irretrievably useless. I’m not saying God doesn’t hold you with great value. Its just you are useless to him.

I can lose a winning lottery ticket. And That ticket has great value to me, yet that value means nothing when it is lost. Same thing goes for my keys. They could be great keys ... very well crafted keys. But lost... they are worthless to me.

When we are lost to God, we are not where we are sapposed to be in his world and as a result are not caught up in his life.

Essentially being lost means you are obsessed with yourself. Paul writes “their god is their belly,”. Slaves to their appetites and feelings. Because it is their feelings that become unsatiable. As a result no one chooses to be the kind of person who belongs in hell. But their self orientation leads them to become the kind of person whom “Away from God” is the only place for which they are suited. It is a place that someone would choose for themselves rather than humble themselves, and put away their pride and accept God for who he is.

Am I poking holes in your pride? Is it insulting to call someone lost? These topics we need to be kind about. But truth have an edge to it. Is it insulting to give someone a diagnosis of a disease that needs treatment. Maybe… but if they get treatment they live. Lostness is a factual condition of the self, of the ruined soul. You either have it or you don’t. You probably wont know it if you have it. Because it’s blindness. But you need treatment, if you aren’t going to be lost forever. And being informed can help you find relief.

So there’s my 360 mirror. Pretty rough to face the lights and the visuals. I wanted to show you how ugly pride is and how it ruins our souls and makes this world an evil place. Do you see how our hearts naturally cultivate the love of ourself, which blooms into pride where it emits the fragrences of denial of true reality that smells like shit. God is God. We are powerful Souls that can participate or not participate in his kingdom. And we live in a world that currently is not “his kingdom come” because not all of us are doing our job.

We have rags on. Jesus Christ allows us to have his pristine clothes. And lets us follow him into the town to do some really great things on his behalf.

Do you want to hold onto the rags because they are yours, or do you want to bow deep let go of your pride that holds up a chinsy reality of insatiable hunger. Let’s have some remorse today. Let’s have some fear of a very powerful God. Let’s rework our realities to serve a God who can save us from ourselves. So that we can be the people that he wants us to be.

Burn Clean

I’ve noticed that in my attempt to follow Jesus, something has backfired. My intensions have been good, but my methods haven’t given me the right mixture of what I need. As a result there has been an embarrassing explosion from the inside. Let me explain.

Jesus saved me from my life. My life that seemed to be out of meaning. It probably wasn’t the addict’s “rock bottom,” but it was the perfect turning point for me. I was searching searching searching… And soon I realized that I was searching for something REAL that I had experienced once once before. It may seem trivial or cliché, but when I was a freshman in highschool. I went to a friend’s church service, and a tangible electricity of joy went zapping through my system. Nobody knew it happened but me. It was this experience that turned me on to Jesus. But, because I didn’t go to that church, and because I didn’t know really what happened, I also didn’t put 2 and 2 together that this ZAPPO experience of joy was associated with Jesus. So, for a while, I was searching for that joy. And I looked all sorts of places.

At 20, I was re-aquainted with that joy as I was re-aquainted with Jesus. And in turn re-aquanted with his church and theirfore his followers. It was through them that I learned more about Him. They were good people, and had good intensions; and all had a glimpse of what was going on. And I wanted to be a part of it. I loved this new Joy. So I studied religion.

I saw these characters up front speaking these wonderful words that were changing my life week to week. I soon wanted to be that. I wanted to tell people about Jesus too! I wanted to speak life giving messages. And to do this you get to be called ‘pastor’. I wanted to do that, be that.

After school, I went to the Bridge Church, I wanted to be a pastor, but I felt the usual seminary route was an odd place to find your vocation. I found it weird that my friends were going to go to two or three years of school where they would become a“Master of Divinity” and then be stationed in a church somewhere for 35 years to tell people how to live. At 23 I didn’t feel I could tell anybody how to live. So I went back to Portland got a job and plunged into a church plant.

It took me three years of men’s group at the Bridge to realize that I had some hidden motivations in my “gung ho’ ness” towards ministry. We all have motives for what we do; both positive and negative. As I went to men’s group, I noticed that even though I DID have a great love for Jesus, and a passion for telling people about Jesus, I also had a huge need for feeling wanted and important. As I began to hammer out my inward world andas I became aware of it, I noticed a diabolical undercurrent: if I could get a spiritual edge, I would have the Ultimate Edge. Then I could be looked up to, and therefore be wanted and seen as important by others. My desire to be the vessel of the“message” was inwardly founded on my own innadaquacy. When I found this out, I was disguisted with my motives. I confessed my findings with Ken, one of the pastors of the Bridge (now pastoring HomePDX), and he encouraged me by saying. “isn’t it interesting that the real qualification of doing this job is being aware that you truly will never be qualified.” This continues to encourage me as I live as a man, who doesn’t know shit about God. I continue on “not being qualified” as I Search… Search… Search … for this Jesus that changes my life daily, yet always is somewhat elusive.

Some weeks I feel I have it… and then others I find that when I “thought I had it” I didn’t have it at all. As I was praying this morning I realized that I CARE about what YOU think of my spirituality. This is good. It comes with the job, but there is a nuance here that brings me back to that diabolical undercurrent. I care about what I can say to YOU to inspire YOU on your way to give YOUR life meaning.  It is such a great calling to be up here giving YOU what YOU need. And then today I am confronted by my God who asks me “why aren’t you this passionate about YOUR life towards me.”  

Jesus isn’t kicking my ass with his question, (or maybe he is… but) he questioning my motives. “What is the point of changing others’ lives, if you yourself are not changed?” Accolades, Importance, being wise, being loved. These are empty if you are empty.

My intensions have been good, but my methods haven’t given me the right mixture of what I need. My intensions were to “work for God” but the work somehow took precidence over God. My glorious task of telling people about Jesus because of what he has done for me has withered into a prayer to not look foolish on Sunday. My methods were to place myself in a role of godly influence, rather than place myself in the influence of God. Poor motives backfired my faith into something not to admire.

A backfire in a car typically happens when there isn’t enough gas coming in. There is too much air, and so as a result an untimed explosion happens from within.

This is what Jesus was getting at when when he said “unless your righteousness is more than that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” When Jesus is talking about heaven here, he isn’t talking about a place in the sky that you go once you’re dead. He is talking about God's space, where full reality exists. It is close by our ordinary ('earthly') reality and can and often does interlock with it. One day heaven and earth will be joined together forever, and the true state of affairs, which we can’t see, will be unveiled. It is this reality that we are praying for when we ask for “Your kingdom to come” in the Lord’s Prayer. And it is this reality that Jesus is saying you will NOT take part in unless you exceed the righteousness of the scribes and pharasees.

What does that mean?

The Scribes and Pharasees that Jesus is refering to is a group of people who have it all together ”spiritually.” They know what the bible says. They know how to quote it. They know that you shouldn’t kill people, commit adultary, and that you must draw up divorce papers if you want to get divorced. But Jesus is saying: There is an embarrassing noise coming out of these people’s heart. It’s causing them to not move forward. And it could ruin their engines entirely. These men are surrounding themselves with good stuff, yet their fuel is running lean. Filling their insides with a poor mixture of air, or unresolved  earthly motivations.

Jesus is saying “To get in on what God is doing, you must let your insides burn clean, not lean.” You can’t just not kill people! Look at the true nature of your neighbor and let your anger, malice, and contempt be in check. It is not a law… something that you MUST do, it is something better: it is common sense. It is the fuel that lets your heart burn clean. If you work out your anger, it won’t lead to malice, which won’t lead to contempt, which obviously will not lead to murder. The same thing goes for adultary: If you keep in check your desire to seek someone out in order to have sex with them, then the ball won’t go boucing down that road either.

Let the common sense of the kingdom of heaven lead you. Allowing Jesus to lead you in your motivations. Allowing your insides to grow until they become your outsides. Don’t botch up all of the works by caring about the exterior. What’s going on on the inside?

“Why do you care more about what THEY think of your spirituality, than I do?” Jesus asks me. The real reason is I’m getting real time results from what I’m putting out. I’m getting my needs met. I’m showing people my “ultimate edge on them,” and therefore feeling important and wanted.

Jesus is saying to me: “There’s something better then that Geoff. What if you were doing good things because you were a part of what I was doing? What if I filled up that need to feel important, because I think you ARE important? I know you want to be wanted, let me be that for you. To fill that inner space with something other than me will make it pop, sputter, and explode. Your insides will collapse trying to hold up the shell of good things around you with nothing but bitterness and resentment. Why not be a part of my ultimate reality? It may look upside down to burn the fuel of the kingdom of God. It probably will be more painful than feeling “better” than someone else. But at least you won’t burn lean any more. You will move forward.

My Quest for something...

I want something that I don’t have. I’m not sure what it is. But it is something that is very real; more real than my hand. But I don’t have it.  Perhaps if I conceptually knew what it was that I needed I wouldn’t be in this delemma. But I don’t know what it is I need. I have an idea. And it is my hope that that idea will bring me to what I desire. But I could be wrong... I’ve been wrong before…

But this gives me hope:
John6:26Jesus answered them, I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, you have been searching for Me, not because you saw the miracles and signs but because you were fed with the loaves and were filled and satisfied.
    27Stop toiling and doing and producing for the food that perishes and decomposes [in the using], but strive and work and produce rather for the [lasting] food which endures [continually] unto life eternal; the Son of Man will furnish you that, for God the Father has authorized and certified Him and put His seal of endorsement upon Him.This is the work (service) that God asks of you: that you believe in the One Whom He has sent [that you cleave to, trust, rely on, and have faith in His Messenger].
31Our forefathers ate the manna in the wilderness; as the Scripture says, He gave them bread out of heaven to eat.(A)    I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, Moses did not give you the Bread from heaven, but it is My Father Who gives you the true heavenly Bread.    33For the Bread of God is He Who comes down out of heaven and gives life to the world.

 34Then they said to Him, Lord, give us this bread always (all the time)!

 35Jesus replied, I am the Bread of Life. He who comes to Me will never be hungry, and he who believes in and cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me will never thirst any more (at any time).

I personally NEED this answer. I am on a quest for the bread of life, for the living water that will never make me thirsty again. I WANT the Way the Truth and the life. I’m on a quest for the real Jesus…  Not “THINGS” a loaf of bread… not a drink of water… and not a bearded guy. But the one/thing that can fill that empty neediness inside of me that is clammoring and clanging and continually climbing up the drapes of this life WANTING MORE… And I’m hoping He is IT.