Three weeks ago I had a situation. It all started by me not showering. Then as I was working my little tukus off, I began to smell something. Wafts of this aroma would pass my nostrils. Was it me? I checked and I couldn’t pinpoint it. I don’t think it’s me. Then next day I did shower. And yet the wafts continued. I checked around the desk for no avail. Crystal came over and she smelled it. Yet we couldn’t find where it was coming from. 6 days later I looked over, and saw my vase. It turns out some nice flowers had slipped into their water and by the time I found them they had created the Degaba swamp inside the vase. It seemed over the course of 6 weeks, my nice smelling flowers stayed in the same place and because of that they began to smell.
I was watching the second surreal life on VH1 with Tammy Fae and Ron Jeremy. And Tammy told a story of a culture that would sentence those who were convicted of murder to death. This in itself is not too surprising. However, the manner in which the convict was put to death is. You see, the murdered body was strapped to the convict. And as the body decomposed, and rotted, so did the murderer. Tammy spoke of a time where she carried a dead marriage and a dead ministry on her back. And she said how those burdens nearly killed her.
Isn’t it amazing the burdens that we are capable of carrying? Sometimes it’s very good to carry the burdens of things. Prayer is a great way of carrying a burden that we can’t control. But some things are ridiculous. Like dead things. Carrying dead things. I’m not talking about rats and birds you find on the road, but things that Tammy was talking about. Her marriage had ended, and she carried that. Her ministry was reduced to a joke, and she carried that… both were called failure. And it seemed as though Tammy brought her failure flowers and if she stayed there her flowers would have begun to smell.
If you’ve ever had a love one die, you never are the same. But there is a process that you go through that gets you to the other side. It’s called mourning. They have 4 steps in mourning. The first is you in a fit of confusion, of surrealness. You can’t believe it. And so you don’t, it is called denial. You then move into the next phase, crying for your loss, making sure that everyone knows and can see how upset you are. You are sad. Next you start to realize how unfair it was, how unjust the world is, and it moves you into a fit of rage and anger. Finally, after continuing to move through these emotions, you begin to come to an understanding of it all. You may never really be the same, but finally do come to a place where you accept it.
I’ve found by studying this, that many people constantly are in a state of mourning. Mourning this in their life and that in their life. Stages of denial, sadness, anger, and finally acceptance. And depending on our level of hurt, we remain in the stages for any number length of time. We remain giving flowers to the things that we still care about… even though they are dead.
There are things in my life I’ve given flowers to. Things that are dead. And sometimes I’ve let the flowers stay there too long. Long enough to start to stink. Let me read you something: Gal2:19… I have been crucified with Christ. 20I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Have you ever trusted God? Trusted Christ? I have. What a wonderful, incredible, journey. And what depth it reaches your soul. But …. there is one thing that I’ve found within the feelings and new excitements. When signing up for this new journey you’re barraged by amazing partying gifts like the Holy Spirit. And you are wash over by all of this new thought and new faith. And the adrenaline rush is like no other, but like all other adrenaline rushes, they end. And at that moment you follow Christ with diligence, not out of a feeling, but out of trust.
Now some of us who’ve been in it for a long time begin to feel the ware. We begin to question what our conversion means, and at some point some of the things in our old life creep in. We begin bringing flowers to someone that we pronounced dead. Visiting the life of someone we once were. We begin taking on the habits of our old life. Revisiting it… cause somehow we have forgotten what we got ourselves out of.
Many times when people are not allowed to go through the stages of mourning, they get caught. They’re not able to move on. Their life stagnates into a routine of remembrance. That remembrance stops who they are and who they will be, and makes them remain who they were.
Paul saw something similar it the Roman Church when he wrote:
1So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? 2I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? 3Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. …
8If we get included in Christ's sin-conquering death, we also get included in his life-saving resurrection. 9We know that when Jesus was raised from the dead it was a signal of the end of death-as-the-end. Never again will death have the last word. 10When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us. 11From now on, think of it this way: Sin speaks a dead language that means nothing to you; God speaks your mother tongue, and you hang on every word. You are dead to sin and alive to God. That's what Jesus did.
12That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don't give it the time of day. 13Don't even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time--remember, you've been raised from the dead!-into God's way of doing things. 14Sin can't tell you how to live. After all, you're not living under that old tyranny any longer. You're living in the freedom of God.
Paul saw that his people were stuck… They hadn’t mourned yet. They said that their old selves were gone dead and buried. But they still brought the flowers and visited their old lives.
Mourn brethren mourn! Do what you need to do to give your death a proper burial. Grieve the loss of who you were, so that you can move on to who you are, and who you will be.
Who were you? Do you remember? Some of you remember all to well because you’re still holding onto what you were. Going back two, three times a week, and giving it flowers. Mourn! Lean into it. Go through all of the steps so that you can come out the other side. Do you realize you’re not committing to your old life, or your new?
Maybe you’re saying “This is me. I can’t give this up.” But God is telling you “There is a better way.” Because to take that dead man with you; is to sentence yourself to death. It’s like you are living your life and on the weekends or at night you’re climbing into your tomb to sleep with your rotting corpse.
I hope I’m not being overly dramatic here. But something stinks. And it’s our self loathing. Do you hate yourself? Then why do you continue to live, yet choose the things that make you die.
“Geoff…” you say “… Lets be realistic. No one can be without flaws.” We can be realistic. As a community we need to be realistic. And the fact is: God is extremely realistic. Which is why Jesus died for us. He loved us so much that he wished us to live with him eternally. Why would we choose to die?
When I was a senior in College, my roommates and I had a visitation. It wasn’t from aliens, or the Lord. We had a visitation from a freakishly clever turd. I heard the toilet flush about 6 times as Neil, my roommate, slightly defeated, but somewhat intrigued asked me “Geoff…come over here.” I knew that it had to do something with the toilet but wasn’t ready for what I was about to see. You see, Neil wasn’t the kind of man that would be proud of his excrement. That was more other roommates. However, when I peered over the toilet, there it was… Neil’s poo. He looked at me perplexed. And said… “I’ve been trying to get rid of this for the last 6 minutes.” It wasn’t too big, or long, it hung in the water at about 45 degrees not too much fiber, not too little, the water was somewhat clear around it because of the excess flushing. He asked “what should I do.” I told him to try to flush it again. Whooosh… The water swirled around, carrying the poo away down the hole. I looked up somewhat grossed out at having to solve that problem, but also somewhat satisfied that I again had made the world right. But as I was moving away Neil said “wait… This is why it’s exciting.” Sure enough I looked down, and creeping out of the hole was “bloop” Neil’s poo.
My other roommate Greg entitled it: “the peek a poo” and for the next three days we were in awe of its cleverness. None of us wanted to touch the peekapoo because of its novelty. We went to the bathroom normally (1 and 2) and somehow the peekapoo would navigate its cylindrical type of body around even the most daunting of loads. Whoosh…“bloop” Whoosh…“bloop” We kept the fan on to keep the smell out of the living room. Neil had become a minor celebrity and even though he wasn’t a part of our fraternity, he received accolades. Then…as mysterious as it came into the world, the peekapoo left the apartment bathroom of A38. I don’t even remember who it was. Maybe because of the loss no one wanted to own up. But our pet, our brother, our shit…left us… Flushed, with the rest of the filth.
Who knows how long we would have left it there. Maybe it would have been the 9th wonder of the world, and we could have charged admission. But the loss was very real. The stories of our peekapoo would come to a close, as we had to tell those that asked that he was gone. I suppose we might have had a funeral for him if we new it was his last flush… Or if we truly had a pulse on how much joy a poo could give us. But alas, like every other turd should, the peekapoo was carried away to a watery grave.
Do you have some poo in your life that God is asking you to flush? You find it a novelty, something that makes you unique, not like the rest of them. Or you’ve just held onto it saying, it’s just too big, there’s no way that it will go down such a small hole. Let me tell you. It stinks. The fan that you’ve left blowing for a while is because you don’t want to get rid of it. But eventually the smell is going to creep out and take over your living room. Your house will no-longer become a place people want to go, nor will you want them to be there. People that love you will still come over, but before they do they’ll put on their game face, and endure your smell.
I ask you why? For what purpose? Is there a reason you’re keeping it around? Maybe you have no idea how to get rid of it. But it’s time. Its time to flush it down. Look deep into the water. What’s floating there might have been in you… but its not you anymore… and you’ve kept it around far too long. Take a big whiff and see what keeping this around has done to you and your house.
God loves you… and if you never changed God would still love you. But God loves you far too much to live like that. He wants you to mourn who you were and move on to who truly are.
Jesus said to the woman at the well John 4:10..."If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water."… “14Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst--not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life."
A body of water that has no intake and outlet stagnates, and gets polluted. But God has given us an artesian spring from within. So that we can continue gushing and flushing. But that means you need to let the past be done. Let it go, and move towards your future. You can’t hold on to both without loosening your grip on both. And eventually one will win. Why not have it be life?
Its time to throw those smelly flowers away and get on with your life.
